funny military stories

[bsg1fan1975]

if anyone has funny stories of their time in the military or from someone they know, share them. I know I have a few that will make you laugh.

[ernie90125]

Heard one about an American Carrier, USS Enterprise, which was reported in the press, then from my memory. Please forgive any inaccuracies. I don't know anyone connected with it, but its a funny story....

The USS Enterprise Aircraft Carrier is at sea and they see a light ahead of them, the radio officer signals the ship approaching and asks them to alter course. The signal is returned with a message asking the Enterprise to alter course.

Again, the signal from Enterprise is repeated, and again the unidentified light replies asking the carrier to change course.

The Captain is called to the bridge, and is somewhat angry. He signals, and demands that a they make a course change, stating that "we are the USS Enterprise, a US Heavy Carrier, change course immediately to avoid the consequences of a collision".

A reply is received : This is a lighthouse. Please change course.....

[zankoku]

My cousin sent me this today

VOLTAIRE SAID: COMMON SENSE IS NOT VERY COMMON.

Read on....



There are idiots and then there are real idiots.


It is difficult to realize the level to which bureaucratic stupidity can rise.

This was taken from an email newsletter published by the Air Finance Journal.
Gotta love it!


Before deploying from Savannah, Georgia to Iraq, 48th Brigade Combat Team, a
National Guard unit, had to go through the same security checks as any other
passengers.

Lt. Col. John King, the unit's commander, told his 280 fellow soldiers that FAA
anti-hijacking regulations require passengers to surrender pocket knives, nose
hair scissors and cigarette lighters. "If you have any of those things," he
said, almost apologetically, "pu! t them in this box now."

The troops were, however, allowed to keep hold of their assault rifles, body
armor, helmets, pistols, bayonets and combat shotguns.

Real security! I have a better one. When returning from Iraq on my last tour,
we had a chartered flight returning from Kuwait that had to land in Maine for
fuel before going onto California.

We left our M16's, SAWs (squad automatic weapons), M60's (machine guns) on the
plane, but the officers took their pistols with them as they get misplaced much
easier. The troops were allowed to wander the airport for an hour to make calls
and relax and were greeted with much affection by all in the airport. However,
when returning through security, IN UNIFORM TO A DESIGNATED MILITARY CHARTER
FLIGHT, we were allowed to declare our pistols, but all the Marines were
required to comply with the new security
rule.................................and take their boots off to
run them through the x-ray!

I enjoyed the experience of walking through the metal detector in my socks with
my pistol on my side.

Maj. B. E. Sewall, USMC

[bsg1fan1975]

here's one of my stories. I laughed so hard the day he told me this one.

My younger brother recently graduated from basic training at Ft. Knox. While he was there he and the guys in his platoon were trying to figure out what to get one of the DI's (drill instructors) for a thank you for graduation from them. The DI said he wanted nothing but they asked him again and he finally said "your sisters".

My brother spoke up immediately and said, "Drill Sgt., your out of luck with my sisters. Two are happily married, one I don't speak to, and the youngest has Down Syndrome and will probably never leave home plus she's under age."

His DI responded, "That don't matter. I'll take them anyway."

My brother's response, "Well Drill Sgt., in the case of my second married sister, your out of luck big time."

The DI goes, "Oh why?"

My brother laughed and said, "She's married to a Navy Reservist."

The DI laughed and goes, "Why is it the Squids always get the best women!"