14th Colony's House of Enlightenment & Wise-Assners

[GreenBear]

Many years ago, traveling in the high reaches of Tibet, I happened upon a wisened old lama and asked him, "Why is the sky blue?"

He told me, "The sky is blue, young grasshopper, because if it was green you wouldn't know where to stop mowing."

Now, mind you, I never actually saw a lawn in Tibet, but the answer seemed to make sense at the time...

[The 14th Colony]

I knew that lama. He was my apprentice.

Wise man say,
That which does not kill me...I killed first.

[The 14th Colony]

However, my former padawan did not get that one fully right. That is only one reason why the sky is blue. The main reason is much deeper and more significant, a reason only I in my wiseness knows.

[ojai22]

Originally posted by The 14th Colony
I

Ask me all that you wish to know, and I will answer,

I have a question:

What color is the sky in the world where you live?

[bsg1fan1975]

O Omnipotent One,

I am pondering a very disturbing question. Why are there women hating men in the world? What did the female species ever do to them?

[The 14th Colony]

Originally posted by ojai22
I have a question:

What color is the sky in the world where you live?

It is shades of green, with a cyan and magenta sunset. I live on the planet Trylania, in the city if Jhervis.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally posted by bsg1fan1975
O Omnipotent One,

I am pondering a very disturbing question. Why are there women hating men in the world? What did the female species ever do to them?

I wasn't sure the answer to that, so I asked my grandmother but she kicked me in the testies. I'll ask her again later when she's not in so foul a mood.

[emerita]

OK...0 wise one...."who's your favorite sister"

[The 14th Colony]

Why, that would be you, elder sweetness.....even though you've avoided my second survey. I feel so unworthy.

[emerita]

What?! I missed it? OMG where.....I think it may be your new avatar that has me confused....looking at boobs when I am talking to you...is distracting on a gender level....

[emerita]

How come all the new avatars resemble me?

[The 14th Colony]

Originally posted by emerita
How come all the new avatars resemble me?

Do you mean all the new smilies with the Viper helmets, or do you mean my avatars? You probably meant my avatars, but I want to be sure so I can answer you properly.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally posted by emerita
What?! I missed it? OMG where.....I think it may be your new avatar that has me confused....looking at boobs when I am talking to you...is distracting on a gender level....

It is here in the Cafe section, sinking lower and lower on the page as more people avoid it and post elsewhere. Simply go to my signature area and click the 3rd link. That will take you right there. The second link goes to the first survey.

[emerita]

OK, i took your survey....lol

[braxiss]

wise master,

why do feet smell and noses run???????

[launchcruiser7]

wallet keys money pen notebook smokes lighter rubber and change wellllllll?????!! the stuff you hope your goina need george carlin a place for my stuff

[warhammerdriver]

O Wise and Mighty All Knowing Seer I beseech the gift of thy wisdom.



What fly should I cast to catch Brown Trout on the second Sunday of June?

[Rowan]

always wanted to learn fly fishing

oh wise and wonderful all knowing Guru I would like to know why it is that men aren't physiologically designed to have babies, if we both could then we could spell each other off or who ever would prefer to get pregnat could, it would be so practical.

[Muffit]

Originally Posted by warhammerdriver

O Wise and Mighty All Knowing Seer I beseech the gift of thy wisdom.



What fly should I cast to catch Brown Trout on the second Sunday of June?

A daggit with long flowing hair and dusty robes, wearing dozens of amulets, steps up to answer in lieu of 14th, who appears to be lost somewhere in contemplation...

Daggit: "Ah, grasshoppa, important thing is to make sure fly is shut when standing in stream full of big mouth trout...!!!"

[Rowan]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[bsg1fan1975]

Originally Posted by launchcruiser7

wallet keys money pen notebook smokes lighter rubber and change wellllllll?????!! the stuff you hope your goina need george carlin a place for my stuff

launchcruiser, I love that one! George Carlin is a hoot!

O wise A$$, I have a query for you to ponder. If hot dogs are packaged in groups of 10 then why are the buns sold in packages of 8?

[warhammerdriver]

Originally Posted by Muffit

A daggit with long flowing hair and dusty robes, wearing dozens of amulets, steps up to answer in lieu of 14th, who appears to be lost somewhere in contemplation...

Daggit: "Ah, grasshoppa, important thing is to make sure fly is shut when standing in stream full of big mouth trout...!!!"

[The 14th Colony]

LMAO Muffit! If one did not zipper his fly despite the danger of big mouth trout he could easily go crazy. In other words, one leap and bite could leave him nuts.

[Rowan]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

LMAO Muffit! If one did not zipper his fly despite the danger of big mouth trout he could easily go crazy. In other words, one leap and bite could leave him nuts.

OMG that has to be the worst groiner I've read in a while!!!:laugh:

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by bsg1fan1975

launchcruiser, I love that one! George Carlin is a hoot!

O wise A$$, I have a query for you to ponder. If hot dogs are packaged in groups of 10 then why are the buns sold in packages of 8?

This is a guy thing. Guys usually do the barbequing, and guys are the ones who planned out the bun counts based on personal experience. If you're a guy and you're grilling franks you're gonna do two things without hesitation. One is pop one in your mouth, not just as a taste test, but because you're impatient and want to scarf it down ASAP. Then, you're going to accidently drop one on the ground while bringing the cooked dogs to the table. That one will get kicked over to the family pooch to devour. And that leaves 8 franks and 8 buns. Problem solved.

I must wonder, however, if there was a Fraudian slip in your querie. You referred to me as a wise as$ and then asked me a question about buns. I suspect there was a subconscious connection in there, somehow, someway, somewhere.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Rowan

OMG that has to be the worst groiner I've read in a while!!!:laugh:

The Master aims to please.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by braxiss

wise master,

why do feet smell and noses run???????

Noses don't actually run, they drip. Feet also run and run fast when the nose smells the smelly feet of another person, who doesn't use Dial.

[braxiss]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

Noses don't actually run, they drip. Feet also run and run fast when the nose smells the smelly feet of another person, who doesn't use Dial.

thank you master,

:laugh: :laugh:

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Rowan

always wanted to learn fly fishing

oh wise and wonderful all knowing Guru I would like to know why it is that men aren't physiologically designed to have babies, if we both could then we could spell each other off or who ever would prefer to get pregnat could, it would be so practical.

If more men would have beer bellies and huge guts, this question would not be asked as it would appear that all men are always pregnant anyway. I have a big belly, so I'm already doing my part. But to be truthful, the last thing a man feels comfortable doing is going to the store to buy tampons for his lady. Men hate doing that. So if men had ovaries and wombs, they would never willingly buy tampons for themselves and as the British would say, we'd have a bloody mess on our hands (and streets).

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by launchcruiser7

wallet keys money pen notebook smokes lighter rubber and change wellllllll?????!! the stuff you hope your goina need george carlin a place for my stuff

Um, huh? Okay, but...what?