I probably shouldn't post this... Skippy's Rules

[rjandron]

400 Things Cadet Skippy is No Longer Allowed to do on the Enterprise

26. Starfleet does not measure the toughness of it's security personnel by seeing how long they can survive in a vacuum, and I may not tell visiting Klingons that this is the case.

92. I will not yell "dead man walkin'" at the sight of any Starfleet security personnel walking down the hallway.

150. A bullwhip and fedora hat are not authorized equipment for away missions.

358. Tummy rubs are never okay, and even less so when dealing with the Klingon delegation.

There is an extended, less family friendly version out there, which has some choice quotes:

440) Lt. Cmdr. Data's status as an artificial, but sentient, being has already been well-established. The cadet's accusations of him being "a Cylon infiltrator" are neither warranted nor appropriate.

441) In relation to rule #440, Cadet Skippy's airlock privledges have been fully revoked.

And the definitely not safe for work original list of Things Skippy is Not Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army is the inspiration for these. The language on the list is way outside of the limits defined by "family friendly" -- so I have pulled the link from my original post. Some of the more PG-rated things Skippy is not allowed to do are below:

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

It might be an interesting exercise to compile the list of things that Skippy is no longer allowed to do aboard the Galactica...

Keep it clean, please.