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November 9th, 2004, 01:29 PM
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#1
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,280
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I Owe My Mother A Lot
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"! You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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November 9th, 2004, 01:37 PM
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#2
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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November 9th, 2004, 01:40 PM
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#3
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,280
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LOL I've heard them all too. Especially #'s 3 and 25
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November 9th, 2004, 01:53 PM
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#4
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Ouch!! LOL!
The ones I heard all the time from my mother (not that exact wording but very close): 4,6,10,11,15,17,18,24,25
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November 9th, 2004, 04:06 PM
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#5
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,242
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Darn funny list, Archangel, and so true!
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November 9th, 2004, 05:46 PM
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#6
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Muff Daggy
| Owner: | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900
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LOL!
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November 9th, 2004, 05:49 PM
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#7
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Stablemaster, Livery Ship
| Fleet Modertor | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Wandering Indiana
Posts: 5,101
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When you put it that way....
__________________
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar
"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]
"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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November 9th, 2004, 10:03 PM
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#8
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Wenatchee, Soviet of WA., Ex U.S.A.
Posts: 4,491
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All I owe my mother is for 50% of my DNA.
__________________
Populos stultus viris indignas honores saepe dat. -Horace
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Fortuna est caeca. -Cicero
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"You know the night before was a tough one when even the sound of the fizz hurts your head." -Mike Hammer.
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November 9th, 2004, 10:52 PM
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#9
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Watashiwa Shin no Noir
| Veteran | | Fleets Warrior | | Former Assistant | | Richard Hatch |
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Where my heart is.
Posts: 1,038
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Lol! I thought they were hilarious! The 'kids just like you' I definitely remember hearing.
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November 10th, 2004, 12:05 AM
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#10
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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November 10th, 2004, 03:16 AM
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#11
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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you forgot one.
Telling the future.
"Just wait till your father gets home!"
I have heard alot of these from time to time. Thanks for reminding me of my childhood! Out of the four eldest children in my family I was the best behaved. Little sister is following quite close behind and might just pass me on the behavior scale!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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November 11th, 2004, 06:30 PM
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#12
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 12,939
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"! You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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cute arch angel .........real cute
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November 12th, 2004, 03:38 AM
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#13
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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this was absolutely funny!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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November 12th, 2004, 09:47 AM
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#14
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 12,939
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It sure was BSG
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For fans of the Classic Battlestar Galactica series
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