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Old February 26th, 2006, 08:38 PM   #1
The 14th Colony
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Default The Truth About the Real Mr. T

Mr T facts

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't!

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr.T is a deadly weapon in 17 states.

Who let the dogs out? Mr. T did, that's who. What the hell are you going to do about it?

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.

Mr. T survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and only one to do so.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.

Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.

The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them.

When the end of the world comes, it won't be referred to as "Judgment Day". Rather, it shall be called "T-Day", when Mr. T ends the world by simultaneously pitying all six billion fools on this planet to death.

Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

When Mr. T cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying.

Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.

Rome wasn't built in a day. But if Mr. T had assisted, it sure as hell would've been.

When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.

During the filming of Rocky III, Burgess Meredith asked Mr. T why he wore so much gold. To make a long story short, the script had to be changed to include Mickey's "accidental" death.

If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.

The Manhattan Project really did not create the atom bomb, but instead put Mr. T’s pity in a bottle and then dropped it on Japan.

Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.

Mr.T has molten lava running through his veins

50 Cent was formaly known as 1 Dollar until Mr. T pitied that fool.

Mr. T does not play the guitar, but he will bash your face in with one.

Mr. T's mohawk was not infact intentional. During an episode of the A Team he fell out of a plane while tranquilised, landed in a field, and a tractor plowed over his head. He has yet seen himself in the mirror since.

There's no such thing as cancer. It's a government conspiracy to cover up the victims of Mr. T's pity.

Mr. T once pitied so many people that it disrupted the cosmos. He then had to pity the higher power into setting it back straight.

It is said that there's a little bit of T in all of us. This is partially true, considering that all living organisms evolved from Mr. T.

Mr. T sued Webster's Collegiate Dictionary because he felt the words "fool", "jibba-jabba", and "pity" were a possibly copyright violations. The matter was settled quietly out of court.

God used to be one entity. But when Mr. T met god, Mr. T pitied God so hard that God had to split into the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. If he hadn't, God would have turned into a plate of spaghetti that Mr. T would have fed him/it to a homeless man.

On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

Rhode Island is neither a road, nor an island. Mr. T is neither a Mr., nor a T. But they do have one thing in common: after Mr. T eats, they are both full of New Englanders.

Mr. T bought tickets in Travelocity. They tricked him and sent him to the U.S.S.R. instead. Instead of pitying he just kicked every Russian's ass and caused the collapse of the union. Russia and travelocity have never been the same.
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Old May 16th, 2006, 10:33 PM   #2
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Old May 24th, 2006, 09:30 PM   #3
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Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.
that's funny. entropy happens.
"We feel free when we escape – even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire." Mozzie on White Collar

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." Malcolm Reynolds [/color]

"We don't dictate to countries, we liberate countries." Mitt Romney [/color]
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