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Old August 24th, 2004, 10:51 PM   #181
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
Let's see

Low maintainance

Never argue

doesn't throw things

There are a few pros but they do not outweigh the cons
Well I'm low manitenance ...but I do argue but I don't throw things and the nicest thing about being real is I'm soft, loving and responsive
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Old August 24th, 2004, 10:54 PM   #182
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Well I'm low manitenance ...but I do argue but I don't throw things and the nicest thing about being real is I'm soft, loving and responsive
Like I said, the pros do NOT outweigh the cons. soft, loving and responsive are definately what does it for me.
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Old August 24th, 2004, 10:59 PM   #183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
soft, loving and responsive are definately what does it for me.
for most of us I imagine!
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Old August 24th, 2004, 11:06 PM   #184
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Maybe we should move this away from the wise one's threadHe probably doesn't need us giving him vicarious pleasure.
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Old August 24th, 2004, 11:08 PM   #185
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan
Isn't that the case with a real woman?
So very true.
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Old August 24th, 2004, 11:09 PM   #186
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
Maybe we should move this away from the wise one's threadHe probably doesn't need us giving him vicarious pleasure.
Hey you, I don't give pleasure to any vicar. Let them find their own from parishaners.
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Old August 24th, 2004, 11:14 PM   #187
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:laugh: As long as you're sure about that.
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Old August 24th, 2004, 11:16 PM   #188
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Originally Posted by The 14th Colony
Hey you, I don't give pleasure to any vicar. Let them find their own from parishaners.
or choir boys!
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Old August 25th, 2004, 10:43 AM   #189
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Your preference is the inflatable kind, then?
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Old September 2nd, 2004, 10:28 AM   #190
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan
or choir boys!
you could educate?
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Old September 2nd, 2004, 05:07 PM   #191
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Quote:
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you could educate?
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Old December 4th, 2004, 07:04 PM   #192
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oh wise and knowledgeable one I bow before your eminence and plead for but a moment of your time I your lowly servant beg you to help me solve a most frustrating problem. You see I have two dogs one loves to be outside the other loves to be inside but they cannot bear to be apart! Every time I separate them they become destructive and bark constantly. If I put them both outside the indoor dog barks incessantly if I keep them both indoors the outdoor one becomes destructive. What can I do to solve this annoying problem ?
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Old December 5th, 2004, 09:26 AM   #193
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O Lord of Enlightenment,

I seek enlightenment to a puzzling question. Why do some men like my darling husband think that I need to wait to put up the Chrismas tree and decorate it when they are around? I have done this very same task a few times on my own with great success. I wait for the wisdom you will impart in your answer.
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Old December 17th, 2004, 04:55 AM   #194
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My supreme lord and commander - where for art thou?
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Old February 23rd, 2005, 10:52 PM   #195
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Mr. Wise Guru thou art forgetting thy thread
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Old March 12th, 2005, 03:41 AM   #196
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan
oh wise and knowledgeable one I bow before your eminence and plead for but a moment of your time I your lowly servant beg you to help me solve a most frustrating problem. You see I have two dogs one loves to be outside the other loves to be inside but they cannot bear to be apart! Every time I separate them they become destructive and bark constantly. If I put them both outside the indoor dog barks incessantly if I keep them both indoors the outdoor one becomes destructive. What can I do to solve this annoying problem ?
Oh that's an easy one to solve. You simply tie their tails together and put them in the open doorway and let them determine by means of submission whether they'll go inside or outside.
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Old March 12th, 2005, 03:44 AM   #197
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bsg1fan1975
O Lord of Enlightenment,

I seek enlightenment to a puzzling question. Why do some men like my darling husband think that I need to wait to put up the Chrismas tree and decorate it when they are around? I have done this very same task a few times on my own with great success. I wait for the wisdom you will impart in your answer.
Alice, to the moon! There are certain things that are best left for manly men to do. I am sure he worries that you will stand the tree up from the wrong end. And then how would you fit the little angel on the tip of it?
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There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old March 12th, 2005, 03:45 AM   #198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan
My supreme lord and commander - where for art thou?
I am here, my submissive servant. Right here, not there, but here where here is. That's where.
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There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old March 12th, 2005, 03:46 AM   #199
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan
Mr. Wise Guru thou art forgetting thy thread
A wise guru never forgets his thread. He arrives to answer it precisely when he means to.
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There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old August 28th, 2005, 05:18 PM   #200
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The 14th Colony
A wise guru never forgets his thread. He arrives to answer it precisely when he means to.
Which is why I have returned to my thread at precisely NOW.

So who needs to know the unknown knowables? I am here to enlighten you.
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There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old October 29th, 2005, 09:51 AM   #201
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Hear my plea, O Wise One. Share thy bountiful knowledge with us lower life forms on this here forum.

Why do my relatives always want to visit on the weekends that I want to use to catch up on work?
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Old November 26th, 2005, 06:39 AM   #202
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Originally Posted by Compass
Hear my plea, O Wise One. Share thy bountiful knowledge with us lower life forms on this here forum.

Why do my relatives always want to visit on the weekends that I want to use to catch up on work?
Lower life forms there be not; not here, not there, not anywhere. Of lesser enlightenment and knowingness, however, there be plenty; yes here, yes there, yes everywhere.

Family are meant to make one choose, to make sacrifices, to add variety to life. They are also meant to empty refridgerators, track mud through homes, and occupy all of our time they can get away with. As for your work, well, family are a jealous sort and want you to themselves with work or no work. Scientific research has shown that when God created families, he used the Murphy principle in the patterns of when they arrive and what they expect. If you have free time and need to work, they will show up. It is Murphy's Law. That is your answer: God and Murphy.
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If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old November 26th, 2005, 11:35 PM   #203
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The oracle returns, happy are we who scan the threads in the hope of gleaning a little wisdom to apply to our actions.
If it moves the oracle to consider my vexation, please clarify the following for me..

Is it wrong to insist my oversees visitors consume local delicacies such as vegemite or pie floaters?
Even if I like them?
Especially if I tell them whats in them?


Cheers,
Lara
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Old November 28th, 2005, 09:03 PM   #204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lara
The oracle returns, happy are we who scan the threads in the hope of gleaning a little wisdom to apply to our actions.
If it moves the oracle to consider my vexation, please clarify the following for me..

Is it wrong to insist my oversees visitors consume local delicacies such as vegemite or pie floaters?
Even if I like them?
Especially if I tell them whats in them?


Cheers,
Lara
Vegemites and pie floaters are delightful delicicies, which I had delivered to my mountain top perch during my months of solitude. Let them eat vegemite, and let them eat pie, and enjoy the rare foods of our grand nation. It is not wrong.

And so I have been moved to consider your vexation, and I have moved my answer to your growing state of awareness.

Next!
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If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old November 30th, 2005, 08:38 AM   #205
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Hear me, O Oracle. Let thy radiant truth shine forth.
Why do people procrastinate?
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Old December 1st, 2005, 02:42 AM   #206
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The 14th Colony
And so I have been moved to consider your vexation, and I have moved my answer to your growing state of awareness.
Thankyou, oh wise one.
I feel most unvexed now!

Lara
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Old December 8th, 2005, 11:17 AM   #207
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O Potentate of Potentates, why is it when they issue a heavy snow warning do some local news channels forget to tell you which counties or areas are involved?
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Old December 13th, 2005, 09:28 PM   #208
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O Potentate of Potentates, why is it when they issue a heavy snow warning do some local news channels forget to tell you which counties or areas are involved?
Because their weathermen have their heads in the clouds when they work.
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If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old December 13th, 2005, 09:30 PM   #209
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Compass
Hear me, O Oracle. Let thy radiant truth shine forth.
Why do people procrastinate?
Um, well, I had wanted to answer your question when you asked it but I've been quite busy. I shall answer it soon then. Yes, as soon as I get to it, later.
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If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



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Old December 19th, 2005, 03:40 AM   #210
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O Great and Mystifying Wise Guy,

why do men feel the need to share their colds and give it to their spouses?
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