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Old June 13th, 2004, 09:27 PM   #1
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We regret to announce the untimely passing of DEAD TOM, who on the 4th of January of this year was savagely crushed like a grape by several zombies. This unfortunate incident occurred in the forest in Seattle, WA. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Egads!" just before expiring. DEAD TOM is survived by a goldfish. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.
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Old June 13th, 2004, 11:54 PM   #2
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ROLFMAO!!!!!!!! I had to try it, so here's mine!!!

"We regret to announce the disturbing demise of Kristi, who on the 7th of June of this year was carefully cannibalized by passing aliens. This unfortunate incident occurred in a murky swamp somewhere on Interstate 52. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Does anyone have a band-aid?" just before expiring. Kristi is survived by a cat. Funeral services will be held the 3rd of next month."
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Old June 14th, 2004, 08:20 AM   #3
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Where do you find these, thomas7g? Here's mine:

"We regret to announce the disturbing death of unowhoandwhy, who on the 4th of June of this year was delicately completely consumed by a ferocious werewolf. This unfortunate incident occurred in an anthill at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Make sure my Mom gets this ring!" just before expiring. unowhoandwhy is survived by Gladys Happyfoot, a trained chimpanzee. Funeral services will be held the 4th of next month."
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Old June 14th, 2004, 08:34 AM   #4
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My condolences and deepest sympathy at this time of profound sadness and loss.
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Old June 14th, 2004, 10:13 AM   #5
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The www world is really amazing!! :laugh:

Well, here's mine:

"We regret to announce the unfortunate death of ana, who on the 7th of February of this year was delicately vaporized by some guy named Clyde. This unfortunate incident occurred in a sewer pipe in New York City. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Quick! Put this on!" just before expiring. ana is survived by four sisters and a mule. Funeral services will be held the 7th of next month."

My comments:

First - A guy named "Clyde" ???!!! Please, give me a break!
Second - "a sewer pipe in New York City ???!!! :confused: It could be worse
Third - "7th of next month" Funeral services always take that long?

I confess that the "delicately vaporized " part is my favorite!

And there's always that "put this on" mystery ...
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Old June 14th, 2004, 10:30 AM   #6
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We regret to announce the untimely passing of Rowan, who on the 7th of March of this year was savagely perforated by a couple of passing gremlins. This unfortunate incident occurred in an adult bookstore at Camp Fusketotulee. The deceased was reported to have shouted "This SUCKS!" just before expiring. Rowan is survived by a bunch of cats, who could really care less. Funeral services will be held the 19th of next month.
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Old June 14th, 2004, 02:37 PM   #7
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BWAHAHHAHA

These are are all so funny! Thanks to Ravyn who pointed out this link to me.

Oh and Terra, I thought the Clyde part was hillarious! One would never expect a guy named Clyde would do ya in. Though if your name was Clyde, that might provide motive in itself. No offense to any Clydes here. Really! ...Don't hurt me!


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Old June 14th, 2004, 03:35 PM   #8
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We regret to announce the unpleasant death of Braxiss, who

on the 4TH of January of this year was brutally and completely

consumed by the next door neighbor. This unfortunate

incident occurred in an anthill on the island of Tihi.

The deceased was reported to have shouted "Stand Back! I'm

a professional!" just before expiring. Braxiss is survived by a yellow

lab named "Scurvy". Funeral services will be held the 1ST of next month.

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Old June 14th, 2004, 07:41 PM   #9
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These are too funny! Thanks Tom........Here is mine

We regret to announce the untimely passing of Amber Starr, who on the 3rd of July of this year was viciously smushed by several zombies. This unfortunate incident occurred in an anthill somewhere on Interstate 52. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Elvis, here I come!" just before expiring. Amber Starr is survived by some thankless family members, who are even now looting the personal effects of the departed. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.


I know to stay away from anthills!
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Old June 14th, 2004, 07:46 PM   #10
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We regret to announce the unpleasant demise of BST aka BattleStarTrekker, who on the 1st of December of this year was delicately completely consumed by Gizmorlag the Slug Demon. This unfortunate incident occurred in the forest at the foot of the Statue of Liberty. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Make sure my Mom gets this ring!" just before expiring. BST aka BattleStarTrekker is survived by a goldfish. Funeral services will be held the 7th of next month.
This apparently was pay-back for all the slugs I've stepped on in my travels. I hope that slug demon got a really bad case of indigestion!!

(Mom always did like the Precioussssss !! )
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Old June 14th, 2004, 08:28 PM   #11
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We regret to announce the disturbing passing of Dawg, who on the 3rd of July of this year was viciously shot by a large rabid squirrel. This unfortunate incident occurred in an adult bookstore in Seattle, WA. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Egads!" just before expiring. Dawg is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 5th of next month.
:laugh:

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Old June 14th, 2004, 09:13 PM   #12
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We regret to announce the disturbing death of Flamingo Girl, who on the 3rd of March of this year was carefully cannibalized by an angry old woman. This unfortunate incident occurred in a slightly distressed Buick Skylark behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Well, there goes the rest of my day..." just before expiring.
Flamingo Girl is survived by several houseplants. Funeral services will be held the 19th of next month.



Ok, that is soooo wrong.
None of my houseplants ever survive.
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Old June 14th, 2004, 11:25 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo Girl
We regret to announce the disturbing death of Flamingo Girl, who on the 3rd of March of this year was carefully cannibalized by an angry old woman. This unfortunate incident occurred in a slightly distressed Buick Skylark behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Well, there goes the rest of my day..." just before expiring.
Flamingo Girl is survived by several houseplants. Funeral services will be held the 19th of next month.



Ok, that is soooo wrong.
None of my houseplants ever survive.


I used to have a skylark when I was in high school... that is too funny!!!!!
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Old June 14th, 2004, 11:56 PM   #14
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My god! This is horrible! Colonial Fleet members are dropping like flies!!!!

And worse yet! I died in January but its June and I haven't been buried!!!!!!

My poor dead corpse!!!!
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Old June 15th, 2004, 02:23 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thomas7g
BWAHAHHAHA

These are are all so funny! Thanks to Ravyn who pointed out this link to me.

Oh and Terra, I thought the Clyde part was hillarious! One would never expect a guy named Clyde would do ya in. Though if your name was Clyde, that might provide motive in itself. No offense to any Clydes here. Really! ...Don't hurt me!


Right,

I hope no Clyde guy shows up and "really" delicately vaporizes me

My humble apologies to all Clydes in the world

...But, honestly, the guy could have a more disturbing name! It's bad enough when your mule survives you
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Old June 15th, 2004, 02:26 AM   #16
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Second thought...

I live in an apartment in the middle of a crowded city...

It's worse to have a mule... :laugh: :laugh:
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Old June 15th, 2004, 07:51 AM   #17
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We regret to announce the unfortunate expiration of Sorrell, who on the 2nd of May of this year was meticulously smothered in hot fat by some guy named Clyde. This unfortunate incident occurred in a manure pile behind an outhouse. The deceased was reported to have shouted "I should have listened to my horoscope!" just before expiring. Sorrell is survived by some large debts. Funeral services will be held the 1st of next month.

What a way to go!
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Old June 15th, 2004, 10:30 AM   #18
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Terra, I think your mistake was to name the mule, CLyde



Oh wait... he got Sorrell too!!!!! Who is this undeniably sinister man!
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Old June 15th, 2004, 10:47 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thomas7g
Oh wait... he got Sorrell too!!!!! Who is this undeniably sinister man!
Tom,

He must be a dangerous and sinister serial killer aiming at CFF members!

OMG We must do something about this!!!
He smothered Sorrell in hot fat !!!!! This is pure evilness!!

LISTEN YOU ALL CFF MEMBERS

There's a mad guy named Clyde who delicately vaporizes and smotheres in hot fat CFF members! Take cover!!
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Old June 15th, 2004, 08:25 PM   #20
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Wonder if he's any relation to the angry old woman who canabalized me?
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Old June 15th, 2004, 08:30 PM   #21
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Will SOMEONE...ANYONE... please bury my rotten corpse!

You can't expect me to do it myself!!!!!
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Old June 16th, 2004, 02:34 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thomas7g
Will SOMEONE...ANYONE... please bury my rotten corpse!

You can't expect me to do it myself!!!!!



Good bye Thomas you will be sorely missed! Thomas

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