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April 14th, 2004, 09:48 PM
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#1
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Bad Email Address
 | Veteran | | | Fleets Officer |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,202
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Ladies vs real women
I got this at work and I just died laughing! I had to share it with my fellow female warriors and those that love them!
Subject: Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And, finally, the most important tip:
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"
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April 15th, 2004, 12:36 AM
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#2
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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LOL :laugh:
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April 15th, 2004, 03:38 AM
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#3
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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rotflmao. How true!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 15th, 2004, 08:30 AM
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#4
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Guest
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wonderful  |
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April 17th, 2004, 07:09 PM
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#5
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Squadron Leader
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
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I kind of straddle that line, there....
__________________
"Everyone's entitled to a little confusion in their lives.
I practicly thrive on it."
"Dirk's always wanted to make love with himself, and now he could succeed!!!"
RH
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April 17th, 2004, 07:17 PM
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#6
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 12,939
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DarkJedi
I got this at work and I just died laughing! I had to share it with my fellow female warriors and those that love them!
Subject: Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And, finally, the most important tip:
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women - Leftover wine??
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn... that was fun!"
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I am DEFINATELY a REALLLLLLLLLL WOMAN 
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April 17th, 2004, 07:23 PM
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#7
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out there somewhere
 | Former Admin (ret) | | | Colonial Fleets | | | BattlestarGalactica-Fleets.com | | | Owner | | | Ship Of Lights Forum |
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: The Ship Of Lights
Posts: 5,517
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uhm.... I'll take a one LADY please!
*runs*
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April 17th, 2004, 08:18 PM
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#8
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DarkJedi
I got this at work and I just died laughing! I had to share it with my fellow female warriors and those that love them!
Subject: Ladies vs. Real Women
Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." ok this is a real cool trick that I have to remember
Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. I would feel awful! although I haven't made that mistake since I was like 20...
Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes." Yikes! ok that sounds a little harsh to me, I'm afraid I couldn't do that ...
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. I 'm not sure how that would workd, pain killers work well enough for me but hey Icould give it a try...
Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares? don't drink much I'm afraid...
Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. don't use cones at home...
Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.????
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Ok I like this idea and I have to try it!
Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. actually I'm a real woman who grows all my own vegetables in my garden...mmmmm fresh from the garden potoes nothing tastes more exqusit to me!
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.OK ! now I've been making cake from scratch my whole life, why did this never occur to me!!! I'm obviously dense!!!
Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you. YUK! hate those cakes they are gross!
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. I know that one! I'm not all that great at making pies although my grandmother was famous for hers.
Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it. ??
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.I never have a problem it's very easy just hit the jar from underneath (against your hand or the counter) and it breaks the air seal and voila it opens like a charm!
Real Women - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it. That would take too long ...
And, finally, the most important tip:
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. This is an excellent idea I have like 5 half used bottles kiking around right now!
Real Women - Leftover wine?? Well we make our own wine... have hundreds of bottles I'd be in trouble if I drank that much!
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Ok I've tallied it up  OMG it says I'm not a REAL WOMAN!!! HELP somebody!! 
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April 17th, 2004, 09:35 PM
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#9
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579
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That was a great find!!!!!! LOL, guess I'm not a real lady after all!
Amber
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April 17th, 2004, 09:36 PM
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#10
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by thomas7g
uhm.... I'll take a one LADY please!
*runs*
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Wise to run
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April 17th, 2004, 10:12 PM
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#11
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Squadron Leader
| Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
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Well, I knew the salt thing already.
I don't drink.
I rarely use cones at home, and when I do, they are the flat bottomed kind, and I like it when they get mushy.
I also bake cake from scratch. Box cakes are dry and bakery cakes are icky. I do however bake brownies from boxes.
I very rarely make pies, and when I do I buy a frozen crust.
I can open my own jars, thank you.
I still don't drink, and I didn't know wine froze.
So I guess I'm a real lady?
__________________
"Everyone's entitled to a little confusion in their lives.
I practicly thrive on it."
"Dirk's always wanted to make love with himself, and now he could succeed!!!"
RH
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April 17th, 2004, 10:16 PM
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#12
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out there somewhere
| Former Admin (ret) | | | Colonial Fleets | | | BattlestarGalactica-Fleets.com | | | Owner | | | Ship Of Lights Forum |
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: The Ship Of Lights
Posts: 5,517
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by amberstar
Wise to run |
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April 19th, 2004, 08:36 AM
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#13
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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I am definitely a real woman. I just don't have the time or energy to be a lady I guess. I'm actually so infamous for being self-sufficient that when I asked a male co-worker for help getting a windshield wiper blade back onto my Jeep his jaw dropped and he said "You mean you need help?!"
I'm self-sufficient and handy (I'm remodeling my house almost completely on my own), but no one ever said I was mechanical!
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 20th, 2004, 07:28 PM
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#14
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Champlain Valley, New York
Posts: 607
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rowan
Ok I've tallied it up OMG it says I'm not a REAL WOMAN!!! HELP somebody!! |
<pats Rowan on the back> There, there. It'll be all right. We won't tell anyone.
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April 20th, 2004, 08:19 PM
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#15
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Guest
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rowan
Ok I've tallied it up OMG it says I'm not a REAL WOMAN!!! HELP somebody!! |
Always willing to help a woman (real or unreal) in distress. What exactly can I do for you to help you BECOME a real woman??
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April 20th, 2004, 08:26 PM
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#16
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bombadil
Always willing to help a woman (real or unreal) in distress. What exactly can I do for you to help you BECOME a real woman??
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 well I don't l know Sir...what would you suggest?
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April 20th, 2004, 08:28 PM
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#17
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by warhammerdriver
<pats Rowan on the back> There, there. It'll be all right. We won't tell anyone.
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Thank you Sir for your discretion, I'm still trying to fiigure it out, I have all the parts and they are fully functional, and I feel like a woman but now I'm all confused? 
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April 22nd, 2004, 12:29 PM
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#18
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: May 2003
Location: South of Wisconsin
Posts: 551
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I'm a cross between the Lady and the Real Woman.
I don't drink, lol - and therefore the whole wine/tequila thing is a goner.
=)
--Rhonda
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April 22nd, 2004, 12:30 PM
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#19
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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I am the same but I do drink. I love my beer and Fuzzy Navels
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 22nd, 2004, 12:31 PM
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#20
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bsg1fan1975
I am the same but I do drink. I love my beer and Fuzzy Navels
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 for the beer, but a Fuzzy Navel sounds good, it's so nice and warm today.
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 22nd, 2004, 12:33 PM
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#21
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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i could use a beer but I will wait till tommorrow night
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 22nd, 2004, 12:52 PM
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#22
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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I just bought a hammock so I may set it up tonight and break open that bottle of red wine my friend just brought me from France, where they know how to make real wine. I don't drink often, and I have been saving that wine for just the right time. A lovely day in a hammock with a good book after a long couple of weeks sounds right to me!
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 23rd, 2004, 03:44 AM
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#23
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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going to dinner tonight at the local VFW post and then tommorrow we go on a day trip!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 23rd, 2004, 04:34 PM
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#24
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Have fun! Enjoy the weekend. I am going to a "Pampered Chef" party that my sister is hosting at her house near Lake Winnepesaukee. She's always trying to turn me from a Real Woman into a Lady! (She cans her own jam and makes everything from scratch, she's the Lady in the family!)
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 26th, 2004, 11:15 PM
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#25
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Bad Email Address
| Veteran | | | Fleets Officer |
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,202
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ROFL!!!! This is too much fun! I didn't expect this much response to it! lol
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April 26th, 2004, 11:58 PM
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#26
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by unowhoandwhy
Have fun! Enjoy the weekend. I am going to a "Pampered Chef" party that my sister is hosting at her house near Lake Winnepesaukee. She's always trying to turn me from a Real Woman into a Lady! (She cans her own jam and makes everything from scratch, she's the Lady in the family!) |
Hey I make my own jelly, jam, freeze veggies from the garden, make things from scratch etc what are you trying to accuse me of?
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April 27th, 2004, 11:07 AM
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#27
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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If she thinks like a lady and acts like a lady then she must be... A LADY!!! A lady by any other name would still be a lady. Sorry, but you're a lady!
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 27th, 2004, 12:15 PM
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#28
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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another way to tell a lady from a real woman.
Lady:
Goes to the hair salon to have hair done.
Real Woman:
Runs a brush through it and doesn't worry anymore about it
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 28th, 2004, 01:58 AM
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#29
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Guest
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by unowhoandwhy
If she thinks like a lady and acts like a lady then she must be... A LADY!!! A lady by any other name would still be a lady. Sorry, but you're a lady! |
Why, Uno! You're talking to yourself again. Not nice to brag, even when you're telling the truth!
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April 28th, 2004, 07:59 AM
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#30
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Bombadil
Why, Uno! You're talking to yourself again. Not nice to brag, even when you're telling the truth!
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Who me? Aw, shucks.
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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