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Old March 20th, 2006, 03:50 PM   #1
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Heart Mom in a Nursing Home

This last week my family had to put my mother in a nursing home. It was the last thing we wanted to do. But it is the best for her. She has dementia not severe she does know us,but she has other problems also.
The nursing home is very nice and homey not like some I've worked in. It really feels more like a home. She is doing really well and I call almost everyday. Since I dont live close.
My mother is sweet and smiles all the time except when the past sneakes up on her and she thinks of daddy and she cries. I send her cards all the time,she likes to get mail.
So I just needed to let off some saddness and realize it is best for her
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Old March 20th, 2006, 04:43 PM   #2
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Times like this are not easy, even if it is in the best interest of the person. My sincerest best wishes for her and for you.

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Old March 20th, 2006, 06:31 PM   #3
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My best friend had to do this a few years ago and as her mom's dementia progressed had to get guardianship of her/her affairs as well. It can be very tough. I'm glad you have your mom in a good place. There are support groups that help family members through the rough places of this disease, don't be afraid to seek them out if you need them.
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Old March 21st, 2006, 02:18 AM   #4
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hey, Marlee,
Its a decision many of us have to face as our parents get older, its tough and takes courage.. dementia is a rocky ride for the whole family, but she is in a safe place, and you can focus on brightening her days instead of worrying about her physical safety.

All the good reasons don't stop the heartache, I know, and it is important to feel sad, but don't feel guilty.

Best wishes,
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Old March 21st, 2006, 08:21 AM   #5
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Hi Marlee,

I truely, truely feel for you. I am pretty close to this myself. My mom will need to move fairly soon and is fighting me on it. She does not want to leave the home she and my dad made. She is always depressed and lonely but also turns down opportunities to be around people. She has CREST syndrome and thus suffers from malnutrition. Doctor visits happen 1 -3 times a week because she is a hypocondriac as well. (She recently insisted on going to emergency for Athelete's Foot. Seriously.) At least I already have power of attorney so I can "easily" move her when I need to. I have been struggling with the decision for months. Everyone, except her doctor, says she needs to move and acts like I don't know it. It gets insulting. I guess what I am saying is that you know what is right and you made the decisions for all of the right reasons. So if you ever question what you did, just know you are right and we always do the best we can.

You are doing good! Hang in there!
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Old March 21st, 2006, 12:57 PM   #6
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Thanks everyone for all the kind words and encouragement it is so up lifting to know people uderstand about this. She is doing wonderful, they have alot of activities there so there is alot to do. She is not sitting ina corner some where. So that has been helpful to know.
So thanks everyone who sent me sincere messages.
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Old March 21st, 2006, 01:21 PM   #7
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Good for her.

I've had a bit of that myself in recent years, so I feel for you and yours, Marlee. My wife's aunt is in a 24-hour care place, I've an uncle in the last stages of Altzheimers, I recently lost my father to a heart attack and CHF/chronic kidney failure. It's as tough on the family as it is to the patient - so it really helps to have a good facility for them to live in that will keep them as engaged and active as they can be and be monitored at the same time.

Best wishes.

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Old March 21st, 2006, 06:23 PM   #8
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Thanks Dawg, My Sympthy goes to u on the loss of your father. My dad died last Feb. also of ChF. He was ninety three and he was still walking at the time he went to the hospital. I have Best Wishes for your wife's family member in the nursing home.

This sight has wondering caring people, with wonderful words of wishes and encouragement. It helps alot.

Guess I need to be back to Landing Bay will be gone a couple of days, but will be back Sat. Thanks Dawg!
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