Rolling Stone Blasts EpIII

[Sci-Fi]

From Rolling Stone Magazine:

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

PETER TRAVERS
May 13, 2005

Drink the Kool-Aid. Wear blinders. Cover your ears. Because that's the only way you can totally enjoy Revenge of the Sith -- the final and most futile attempt from skilled producer, clumsy director and tin-eared writer George Lucas to create a prequel trilogy to match the myth-making spirit of the original Star Wars saga he unleashed twenty-eight years ago. Fan boys, of course, have convinced themselves otherwise. So have several critics, if you go by early reviews.

Heralded for its savagery (my God, it's rated PG-13), the film follows Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen -- to merely call him wooden is an affront to puppets everywhere) as he loses his limbs and his conscience and takes on the evil mantle of Darth Vader. But thematic darkness is no excuse for dimness in all other departments, except the visual.

In this heretic's opinion, Sith is a stiff, brought down by that special knack Lucas has of turning flesh-and-blood actors into cardboard cutouts. To hear Anakin and his pregnant wife, Senator Padme (the vivacious Natalie Portman rendered vacant), discuss their marriage -- a secret that could get Anakin defrocked as a Jedi -- is to redefine stilted for a new millennium. The minute any character -- human or droid -- opens a mouth to speak, your eyes glaze over.

I kept thinking how much better Sith would play as a silent film, with only Chewbacca allowed to do his Wookiee growl and John Williams to trumpet his recycled score. And yet, Revenge of the Sith is the movie that will do more business (my guess is $400 million-plus), sell more popcorn and brainwash more audiences than any blockbuster this summer. There are reasons: Sith is the last time Lucas will ever skywalk with the Skywalkers on the big screen (talk persists of a TV spinoff). There is enormous goodwill built up by the original series Lucas began in 1977 with Star Wars: A New Hope, continued in 1980 with The Empire Strikes Back and ended in 1983 with Return of the Jedi. All three of those movies belong in my personal time capsule, despite the Ewok blight on the last one. That's why you, me and everyone we know lined up for 1999's juvenile The Phantom Menace and 2002's atrocious Attack of the Clones. We watched with stifled yawns as Anakin grew from a snot-nosed kid (Jake Lloyd) to a whiny teen lover boy and wanna-be Jedi (Christensen). We justified the thudding lifelessness (a pox on those Jedi councils) by praising Lucas' digital artistry and nurturing the hope that Revenge of the Sith would spin our heads around with the dark magic of Darth Vader.

Not even close. Until the last half-hour, when Lucas actually does establish a emotional connection between the landmark he created in 1977 and the prequel investment portfolio he laid out in 1999, the movie is one spectacularly designed letdown after another. Chief culprit? The script. Even with a reported polish by -- say it isn't so -- British playwright Tom Stoppard, the words are leaden, faux literate, mock-Shakespearean and devoid of humor. The late critic Pauline Kael once dismissed Star Wars as "an epic without a dream." I disagree. Lucas' dream is a grand one: to build a mythic futuristic fantasy out of the influences of his youth -- the Bible, the Bard, H.G. Wells, Jack London, John Ford westerns, Flash Gordon serials and long afternoons at the movies. If only for the original Star Wars, Lucas deserves a place in film history. He transformed pop culture into Pop Art. Lucas' major error was believing he could do it all alone. With Empire -- now officially the best of the Star Wars six -- Lucas had the invaluable help of screenwriters Lawrence Kasdan (Raiders of the Lost Ark) and Leigh Brackett (The Big Sleep), and director Irvin Kershner, who knew how to loosen up actors. For those who wrongly criticized Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford back when, all I can say is, look and weep.

As Mace Windu, even the lively Samuel L. Jackson looks embalmed. Ewan McGregor fares better as Obi-Wan Kenobi, if only because mischief is embedded in his DNA. Best of all is Ian McDiarmid as Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, the true badass of the piece. As Palpatine draws Anakin into his web and away from the Jedi code, the film is briefly enlivened by the thrill of temptation. McDiarmid paints an insidious, seductive portrait of evil. It's too bad that playing the grotesque Darth Sideous, Palpatine's Sith lord alter ego, drives the actor into horror-show hamboning.

As for the good stuff, none of it involves human speech. There's Obi-Wan taking on the droid general, Grievous, whose metal arms can swing four light-sabers. There's the massacre of the Jedi when Palpatine calls for Order 66. There's Palpatine taking on Yoda (again voiced by Frank Oz), whom he contemptuously calls my "little green friend."

As for the much-touted opening aerial dogfight with Anakin and Obi-Wan firing on the clones in a cluttered digital landscape, the effect is pure video game and purely without threat. Lucas fills Sith with so much computerized wizardry that it barely jibes with the low-tech original, taking place decades later, which shows the touch of human hands and plays all the better for it. But as cop-outs go, you can't beat the reasons that turn Anakin bad. Suffering nightmares about his wife dying while giving birth, he joins the Sith, who claim power over death, to save the woman he loves. If it means the killing of Jedi younglings, so be it. If it means letting his hubris run amok like any yuppie exec, so be it. It's like hearing that the young Hannibal Lecter was weaned on food instead of live flesh.

Lucas almost pulls the plot out of the fire in the film's final section, showing Obi-Wan hacking away at Anakin with his light-saber on the lava planet of Mustafar. Lucas even drops a hint that Anakin thinks Padme and Obi-Wan may have been getting it on. As we watch Anakin nearly melt in the lava, only to be put together, Frankenstein style, in a lab while Lucas intercuts scenes of Padme giving birth to the twins Luke and Leia, a link to genuine feeling is established at last. It's too little and too late. To hail Revenge of the Sith as a satisfying bridge to a classic is not just playing a game of the Emperor's New Clothes, it's an insult to what the original accomplished. To paraphrase Padme: This is how truth dies -- to thunderous applause.

[Tanky]

Well thats definately different to what I've read about it so far

[cranky1c]

Nice to hear a different perspective on this.

[Lara]

Refreshing to read a review that isn't a slobbering grovel to the marketting departments.
Thanks for posting it, remains to be seen if I will agree with it, but thats a good thing.
Cheers,
Lara

[cranky1c]

I've wondered a few times in the last couple of weeks if saying Ep III was so much better than Ep's I and II wasn't like damning with faint praise. It remains to be seen.

[Charybdis]

Can we all agree that the original trilogy was far better than the new prequels??

As for critics, I cant' stand any of them. What I think a movie will be or how it will impress ME, no critic can ever understand. So a pox on all of 'em...

[bsg1fan1975]

Critics only write to hear themselves think, so I never pay attention to their drivel! I never had any problem with any of the Star Wars movies that would not make me want to watch them!

[Fragmentary]

This review would carry more weight if it came from any other source than Rolling Stone magazine. Yes, I put more stock in messages posted at public internet forums than I do anything published in that magazine.

[cranky1c]

Just curious, what's your beef with Rolling Stone?

[Fragmentary]

I just hate to see legends die a slow death. Rolling Stone at one time was a pretty influential magazine. You look back at old issues from 30 years ago and see that there was a real rebellious and literate spirit to the magazine. Now, it just seems more like Mtv magazine. Soft, banal, and safe. When you go from having Hunter S. Thompson writing pieces to articles on celebrity gossip, clearly something has gone wrong.

Or not, what do I know? *shrug*

[cranky1c]

I don't read it often enough to agree or disagree with what you say, but I'm with you on the "MTV"-ing of music.

[julix]

Well,
As far as I am concerened this guy missed the mark complety! I see it a different way they he was the only one not to grovel.................I see it as there are those sho like to be the one who has an opinion that is different then others(like this guy)..not because it is, although I think they can convince themselves of this, but because it gets attention to be a voice that challenges.................Pure Feldercarb!!!!!!!!!! There is a Doris Day movie that comes to mind, where she is married to a Crtic and he ends up just making nasty comments about everything to (like BSG said) here the sound of his own voice! Eventully, Doris sets him straight.................ahhh, where is she when you really need her?


As Yoda would say "when 500 billion dollars you have......................judge then you can"

Originally Posted by julix

Well,
As far as I am concerened this guy missed the mark complety! I see it a different way they he was the only one not to grovel.................I see it as there are those sho like to be the one who has an opinion that is different then others(like this guy)..not because it is, although I think they can convince themselves of this, but because it gets attention to be a voice that challenges.................Pure Feldercarb!!!!!!!!!! There is a Doris Day movie that comes to mind, where she is married to a Crtic and he ends up just making nasty comments about everything to (like BSG said) here the sound of his own voice! Eventully, Doris sets him straight.................ahhh, where is she when you really need her?

By the Lords of Kobol, We Finally Have those Gaule-Mongering Movie Critics Where we Want 'em.... Actually, all joking aside... Rolling Stone has Given Great Reviews of Movies That I Thought were Just Pure Feldercarb... Some Critics just don't Like Certain Shows.

If I Remember My History Correctly, Didn't Shakesphere's ROMEO & JULIET get BAD Reviews its First Run? I really don't think One Bad Review is Gonna be the Downfall of the Star Wars Dynasty... But, Yeah Good 'Ole Rolling Stone Critiques, as well as their Staff Writers & Reporters are Known for their Controversy/Jerry Springerish Ways... They think that By Being Shocking, that it'll Help to Boost the Circulation of their Magazine.

I Seem to Remember that Doris Day Movie You're Talking/Typing About, However I can't Recall the Name... I Guess What I'm Really Trying to Say is This: Who Cares What They Say:EPISODE III REVENGE OF THE SITH Made 50 Million Dollars Here in the U.S. Before the Weekend Got Officially Started.



Maybe Star Wars Fans Will Start a Boycot Against Rolling Stone Magazine ... (Hey, I'm Not Telling Anyone Here to Go Out & Start a War or Anything... Just an Idea that Happened to Pop into my "Sleep Deprived Mind")

I've Stated My Opinion on this Movie, and I Did All My Research Before it came to the Theatre... Just Because it Had the STAR WARSBrand on it, I Didn't Give it a Free Pass... I Judged it Just Like Any Other Movie, And Found it to Be a Show I am Willing to Spend My $$$ on Seeing it Again & Again... I've Already Seen it Twice, and I'm set to go see it Next Weekend With My Cousin.

[julix]

Great post Haveke...............
I agree, I went into the movie with an open mind, I am a fan though. The Doris Day movie was called..........something like "Don't smell(or pick) the Daises"

Sith rocked so that is all that matters to me.............

[TopGun]

I tend not to read reviews, I like to make up my onw mind

[Breea]

The Doris Day movie is "Please don't Eat The Daises" and her husband was pl;ayed by David Niven....
Breea

[julix]

Originally Posted by Breea

The Doris Day movie is "Please don't Eat The Daises" and her husband was pl;ayed by David Niven....
Breea

Thanks Breea

[Tanky]

Originally Posted by TopGun

I tend not to read reviews, I like to make up my onw mind

Same. Why should I have another person telling me if a movie is good or not? They arent me, they dont know what I like.

And this review was way off the mark. ROTS ROCKED!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by julix

Great post Haveke...............
I agree, I went into the movie with an open mind, I am a fan though. The Doris Day movie was called..........something like "Don't smell(or pick) the Daises"

Sith rocked so that is all that matters to me.............

Thanks Again to Breea for Reminding us of the Name of that Doris Day Movie.

I Like to Read Reviews, and Then Make Up My Own Mind About it... Hey, I Just Love to Read... I Sometimes Spends Hours Just Reading All the Posts, and the other Night I Spent Nearly an Hour Tweeking My Post... Had to be a Perfectionist that Night I Was trying to Find Just the Right Words... (I Still Say it was From the Lack of Sleep though)

Spoiler To Get The Full Effect of The Entire STAR WARS Galaxy, Might I Suggest Reading or Reading Again All the Books, as Well as Tracking Down & Reading the Dark Horse STAR WARS: TALES OF THE JEDI Graphic Novels (I Don't think the Actual Comic Books are Still Available on the Open Market... This Will Give You the Inside Track on Who the Sith Were (They Were Orginally an Alien Race of Force Users... Who Developed Some Rather NASTY FORCE Abilities (FORCE Lightning is Mild Compared to Some of the Lost/Forgotten Powers) How They Raged Great Wars Amongst Themselves... and Later On, How They Almost Came to Conquer the Very Galaxy Itself.

Never Leave Your Wingman

Hey, This Kid Don't Sign On for No Oneway Mission...We're Coming Back!

See You On the Flight Deck:

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US...

[bsg1fan1975]

I never buy or pay attention to Rolling Stone. I have other things to do with my time and money. They were far off the mark when they gave Sith a bad review, many other publications have given it rave reviews and that is what counts more!