 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
June 2nd, 2004, 10:00 AM
|
#1
|
|
Squadron Leader
 | Veteran | | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
|
Define "Teenager"
TEENAGER (NOUN)
1) A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets or computers (See SLOTHS). Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether (See 'PARENTS') Very territorial. (See 'ITS MY ROOM STAY OUT OF MY ROOM').
Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food, and responsibility (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF'). The males of the species forage for food constantly (See 'MCDONALD'S') and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments which slide off their backsides and look ridiculous (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF').
The females, on the other hand, sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development (See 'WONDER BRAS'). Males indicate their approval by staring at the display (See 'FATHERS, HEART ATTACKS OF'). The call of the female is complex and shrill, "Like, O m' Gosh! O m' Gosh!"
Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory, "Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up?"
Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears an average of six hours a day. When challenged for possession, they snarl and warn intruders, "I'm doing my HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK." The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to violent electronic signals from radios.
Male Teenagers concentrate on important information (See 'FATHERS, LECTURES OF') by rolling their eyes, shrugging, kicking dirt, and sighing. Females burst into tears and slam doors. Many Homosapien families have a host-to-parasite relationship with one (See 'STRESS') or more than one (See 'EXTREME STRESS') Teenager. These host families often develop a resistance to the parasite, rejecting them some time in the eighteenth year of life.
Often, though, this rejection is merely theoretical, with the Teenager continuing to live off of the host Homo Sapiens family for many years afterward, often at great sacrifice (See 'COLLEGE').
2) Of, relating to, and especially EXPLAINING irrational, intolerable, or inexplicable behavior. ("She's a Teenager.")
3) A request for sympathy, offered by adult parents to each other in support. ("I have a Teenager at home.") Often accompanied by sighs, headshaking, tongue clucking, and shoulder shrugging.
__________________
"Everyone's entitled to a little confusion in their lives.
I practicly thrive on it."
"Dirk's always wanted to make love with himself, and now he could succeed!!!"
RH
|
|
|
|
|
June 2nd, 2004, 10:50 AM
|
#2
|
|
Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
|
LOL:laugh:
Having fostered too many teenagers, I can relate to all that!
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 2nd, 2004, 12:17 PM
|
#3
|
|
Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
|
having been one not too long ago and having 2 teenage siblings and 2 relations I can certainly relate to it!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 2nd, 2004, 07:00 PM
|
#4
|
|
Strike Leader
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579
|
So true FG!!!!!!!! LOL 
I can relate........ I was that horrid creature not too long ago too.
Think the Lord I finally grew a brain!
__________________
" KEEPING THE FAITH"
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 2nd, 2004, 07:12 PM
|
#5
|
|
Snowball, My Angel Baby
 | Admin | | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere across the heavens... aka Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 9,187
|
__________________
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore .
Children are a message that we send
to a time that we will never see.
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 3rd, 2004, 04:47 AM
|
#6
|
|
Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
|
LOL, Flamingo Girl!
I told my mother the other day that I was a visual learner (I learn better if I read it or see it) and she turned to me with a horrified look on her face and said, "You mean if I wrote stuff down instead of yelling at you when you were a teenager you would have listened to me?!"
I told her that I probably wouldn't have, I was a teenager after all and there's no cure for that except time.
__________________
.
Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 3rd, 2004, 12:42 PM
|
#7
|
|
Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
|
lol Uno! I was a pushy teen. I wanted to see how far I'd get with bugging my parents before I got grounded!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
|
|
|
|
|
|
June 4th, 2004, 05:15 PM
|
#8
|
|
Bad Email Address
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 12,939
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Flamingo Girl
TEENAGER (NOUN)
1) A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets or computers (See SLOTHS). Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether (See 'PARENTS') Very territorial. (See 'ITS MY ROOM STAY OUT OF MY ROOM').
Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food, and responsibility (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF'). The males of the species forage for food constantly (See 'MCDONALD'S') and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments which slide off their backsides and look ridiculous (See 'FATHERS, QUOTATIONS OF').
The females, on the other hand, sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development (See 'WONDER BRAS'). Males indicate their approval by staring at the display (See 'FATHERS, HEART ATTACKS OF'). The call of the female is complex and shrill, "Like, O m' Gosh! O m' Gosh!"
Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory, "Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up?"
Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears an average of six hours a day. When challenged for possession, they snarl and warn intruders, "I'm doing my HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK." The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to violent electronic signals from radios.
Male Teenagers concentrate on important information (See 'FATHERS, LECTURES OF') by rolling their eyes, shrugging, kicking dirt, and sighing. Females burst into tears and slam doors. Many Homosapien families have a host-to-parasite relationship with one (See 'STRESS') or more than one (See 'EXTREME STRESS') Teenager. These host families often develop a resistance to the parasite, rejecting them some time in the eighteenth year of life.
Often, though, this rejection is merely theoretical, with the Teenager continuing to live off of the host Homo Sapiens family for many years afterward, often at great sacrifice (See 'COLLEGE').
2) Of, relating to, and especially EXPLAINING irrational, intolerable, or inexplicable behavior. ("She's a Teenager.")
3) A request for sympathy, offered by adult parents to each other in support. ("I have a Teenager at home.") Often accompanied by sighs, headshaking, tongue clucking, and shoulder shrugging.
|
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
For fans of the Classic Battlestar Galactica series
|
|
|
