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Old December 21st, 2002, 11:27 AM   #1
oldwardaggit
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Default My annual letter to Santa

Dear Santa

Well look at that. It's been a whole year. Boy does time ever fly. Last year we were not on the greatest of terms do to you getting drunk by getting into my liquor cabinet and leaving me something squishy and stinky in my sock.

I know it wasn't nice for me to put that bear trap in my fire place the following year.

Then the year after that, you had the reindeer pee on my roof so that in the morning; I would come out side to nearly have my eye taken out by a reindeer pee icicle.

Yes we go back a long way Santa to the first time you left me a chocolate covered rock, to the first of 5 times that I called the cops on you for breaking and entering.

But last year I thought that we came to an understanding. I thought all the bad feelings were behind us.
I told you that I was sorry for using Exlaxs in your cookies that I left you.

But for some reason, you lied about giving me what I wanted.
You told me that you would put all that aside and bring back Battlestar Galactica as a continuation with a good story and at least Richard with Dirk to return as older versions of their characters.

Now I know that you were just getting back at me for sneaking up on the roof and pouring cold water on your nice worm seat in your slay.

Now I Know that you must of had a jolly old laugh when I realized that I was getting a re-imagined show with a female Starbuck and Boomer along with all the other things that upset so many.

Well Santa, our truths is off. All I'm going to say is, I hope you can dodge fire works in the air while riding in that slay.

To all the posters on this board, Merry Christmas every one.

OWD
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Desanto and Larson, Larson and desanto.
Did you see that? I think the Giant just opened an eye.

OWD
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Old December 22nd, 2002, 12:01 PM   #2
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You always make me laugh OWD!

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Old December 25th, 2002, 12:46 PM   #3
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Merry Xmas to you and very funny post!
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Old December 25th, 2002, 09:47 PM   #4
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Well thank you both.

OWD
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Old December 25th, 2002, 09:54 PM   #5
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I have found in my experiance that all drummers are completely insane.

You're a guitarist, aren't you?
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Old December 25th, 2002, 10:37 PM   #6
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AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH YUP. LOL

That, and the singer. I'm a 2 in one kind of guy.

Other little known facts are........... Most musicians don't wear watches and most Drummers are always late.

What is the last thing a drummer says before he gets fired ?

I just wrote a song.

Owd
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Old December 28th, 2002, 05:33 AM   #7
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oh Lords, he's starting already. Someone get the Prozac....... no wait a sec leave him the way he is.
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Old December 28th, 2002, 09:56 AM   #8
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I never got to hang around with bands very long. I love music jokes, all the bands I've ever been in, for instance.
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Old December 28th, 2002, 11:34 AM   #9
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LOL

What does it mean when drool is coming out of both sides of the bass players mouth.

It means the stage is level.

OWD
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Old December 28th, 2002, 02:06 PM   #10
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*giggle*

Wait...I was a bassist once..... *frowns*
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Old December 28th, 2002, 02:25 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by oldwardaggit
LOL

What does it mean when drool is coming out of both sides of the bass players mouth.

It means the stage is level.

OWD

Too funny!

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Old December 28th, 2002, 06:10 PM   #12
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Muffit, I don't mean to get too personal here or anything, but, well, you have a beaver bite on your butt.
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Old December 28th, 2002, 07:35 PM   #13
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Yeah, and that beaver had bridgework so half the teeth are still there! A beaver that does bridgework, I cracked another funny!

"Build a bridge out of her!"
"Ah, but can you also not build bridges out of stone?"
"What floats on water?"
"Rocks, very small rocks!"
"Lead!"
"Churches!"
"A duck!"
"Yeeessss, so logicallllly..."
"If...she...weighs...the same... as a duck...."
"...She's made of wood!..."
"And therefore..."
"..."
"..."
"A witch!!!!"

--- Monty Python and the Holy Grail ---

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Old December 28th, 2002, 08:04 PM   #14
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I miss Mony Python.
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Old December 30th, 2002, 08:54 AM   #15
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me too. Quest for the Holy Grail is my favorite.
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Old December 30th, 2002, 09:13 AM   #16
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*grabs a coconut*

*flies to England*
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Old December 30th, 2002, 12:00 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Flamingo Girl
*grabs a coconut*

*flies to England*

If you watch Holy Grail very carefully, you will see a brief 2 second shot before the witch trial where Sir Bedivere - (I think that was his name - the scientist) - is actually tying a coconut to a bird and lets it fly off with it! I had never seen this and just happened to catch it one time!

I love Python! I got Holy Grail on DVD now but I wish someone would release Life of Brian and Meaning of Life on DVD too!

***Pretending I'm riding away on a horse***
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Old December 30th, 2002, 12:21 PM   #18
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***Grabs a shrubery***
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Old December 30th, 2002, 02:11 PM   #19
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King Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice! And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
King Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays...]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
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Old December 30th, 2002, 07:49 PM   #20
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Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Last edited by Flamingo Girl; December 31st, 2002 at 08:11 PM..
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Old December 31st, 2002, 08:13 PM   #21
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Muffit, I saw 'Life of Brian' today on DVD, ya need to sniff around a little harder.
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Old December 31st, 2002, 09:08 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Flamingo Girl
Muffit, I saw 'Life of Brian' today on DVD, ya need to sniff around a little harder.
Really? I'll have to sniff around better!
"No, he's not the Messiah, he's been a naughty boy, so piss off!"
-- Brian's mother, Life of Brian


Last edited by Muffit; December 31st, 2002 at 09:12 PM..
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Old December 31st, 2002, 09:38 PM   #23
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No, no, we can't quote that one, I've never seen it.
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Old December 31st, 2002, 10:51 PM   #24
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Sorry Flamingo Girl, couldn't resist! You're right, I saw it at Amazon just now, guess I need to check more often. It's goin' in my shopping cart!

Thanks for the info!
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