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Old April 20th, 2009, 01:47 AM   #2518
Damocles
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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Default Re: Clean joke of the day.

Feed the Pilots

an appeal from Sally Struthers and the Feed the Pilots Foundation...

It's just not right. Thousands of Air Force pilots in our very own country are living at or just below the six-figure salary line. If that wasn't bad enough, many of them may go several weeks or months without a bonus if they are forced to wait for Congress to pass needed legislation. Congress is just "sitting" on much-needed legislation to increase the pilot bonus (ACP) to $25,000 per year, and while we wait our pilots are going without any bonus payments at all!

But you can help! For $480 a week (that's less than the price of a 31" television set) you can help keep a pilot economically viable during his (or her) time of need. $480 a week may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a pilot it could mean the difference between a vacation fishing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise.

For you, $480 may be nothing more than half a month's rent or mortgage payment, but to an Air Force pilot, $480 a week is their god-given right for the hardships of having to fly a sleek fighter or a mission-critical transport plane instead of some old commercial airliner between La Guardia and Atlanta.

$480 a week will enable a needy pilot to upgrade his or her home computer, buy that new high-definition TV set, trade in the 6-month old Lexus for a Ferrari, or simply enjoy a dinner (with champagne) at The Mansion.

HOW WILL YOU KNOW YOU'RE HELPING?

Each month, you'll receive a complete financial statement report on the pilot you sponsor. Detailed information about his or her stocks, bonds, and real estate holdings will be mailed directly to your home. You will be able to watch your pilot's net worth grow. You will also have information on how they choose to invest their salary when they eventually separate to take a commercial aviation job.

HOW WILL THEY KNOW YOU'RE HELPING?

Your pilot will be told that he or she has a SPECIAL FRIEND that just wants to help. Although the pilot won't know your name, he or she will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case they need more funds.

So won't you please help these pilots in their time of need by sending your donation of just $480 a week by check or credit card to:

Feed the Pilots
PO Box 9876
Washington, DC 12345

Thank you.
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