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Old April 20th, 2009, 02:38 AM   #2559
Damocles
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Default Re: Clean joke of the day.

Airman Slapping

AF NEWS SERVICE- Frustrated by lower than needed retention and recruitment levels the AF has been forced to make unprecedented concessions to members and now several Major Commands have instituted "airman-slapping" policies, allowing supervisors to slap airmen pretty much whenever they damn well please. In surveys the ability to slap their troops when frustrated is a major motivator to make a career of the Air Force

Widely hailed by supervisors as a great equalizer, the random slapping of airmen has, not surprisingly, come under fire from many lower-level members. But even some senior-level leaders have voiced complaints. .

"I, for one, don't like it a bit," said Col Joe Banks, Deputy Commander Hill AFB. "I'm a deputy commander, and I get slapped. I think there should be a ceiling somewhere, just below me, so that I don't get slapped, but I still get to slap. That, to me, would be an acceptable system."

While airmen-slapping programs are relatively new, their genesis can be found in the mid 1990s, when the changing attitudes of young recruits directly conflicted with how their supervisors viewed the world. According to Chief Bill Bob from the AFPC we had mid-career SSgts, etc separating in droves because they could not deal with these young "punk" recruits. After trying SRBs etc it was found that simply letting supervisors slap uncooperative subordinates dramatically improved morale, productivity, and retention.

Airman-slapping, proponents argue, makes up for the lost sense of balance, with many SNCOs reporting they can "feel the tension fly right off their fingertips." Some also contend the policy has reinvigorated a sense of ambition in the workforce, as climbing the promotion ladder to attain more power has been supplanted by a more intense, visceral desire to be able to slap the face of people who piss you off.

"It's simple math," explained SSgt Jim Bob, a crew chief at Cannon AFB. "Right now, in my flight, I've got six people under me. That's only six people I can slap. My boss, he has 96 people under him. I want his job."

There are, however, limits to ambition, warns General Jim Kirk, Commander ACC. "I've got 35,000 airman under me, and theoretically, I could slap every one of them, but whose got the time?" he said. "What I've learned, and this is a good lesson for prospective leader out there: delegate."

Most airman-slapping policies prohibit the slapping of anyone not full-time, however several base MEO offices have reported violations of this when leadership allowed subordinates to slap reservists and guard members until they confessed to some minor indiscretion.

One violation units have been cracking down on is what's known as the "slunch," or slap-punch. "My boss punched me once," recalled SSgt Jim Bob. "She said it was a slap, but I felt knuckle. I couldn't shave for a week." SSgt Jim Bob filed a complaint with the base MEO, and after getting slapped around a bit by the chain of command his grievance was declared valid. Now his boss can only slap him in the presence of her superiors.

Submitted by Arthur
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