Thread: Julix's corner
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Old December 24th, 2005, 08:46 AM   #135
CaptainTux's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370


Originally Posted by julix
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied

I long for the day
when the grief
has become quiet
when the giant
will sleep forever
but for now I see
I must continue on
try to do what I must
the pain, the hurt
so great there
is no relief
only struggle
only a journey
I am forced into
and afraid to take

What cost must I pay?
What price to be released?
From a cell that has no bars
A prison with no key
many days of pushing away
the thoughts and emotions
only to have them return
with a vengence
overwhelming my mind
into silence
Now remember, we are not talking exact parallels here, but there are reflections.
#1 I have often felt like I see all my friends and associates through a long tunnel or a fishbowl. There is some kind of barrier that prohibits me from being truly joined with them and they seem to be a community. I am in a crowd....alone.

It often feels like there is a weight or somehting else in the back of my mind.

#2 In one year I have seen a marriage crumble, two friends die, a young girl get raped by a friend of mine, two get diagnosed with cancer, and a few more have other problems. I want to support them and help them, I want to get through my own problems, but there are some days it felt so heavy and so big...too big. But I had not choice. I had to finish today and face tommorrow. I wanted to enjoy today and not dread the next, but I could not for a time.

#3 What cost must I pay. Tell me what I did, how do get out of it, and make the suffering stop. Been there. Reality, I did nothing. I just let the events of my life dictate my emotions. Ick.

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