[Damocles]

OERs

The following are actual lines out of Air Force Officer Efficiency Reports or OER's (performance appraisals):

* Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
* Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
* A room temperature IQ.
* Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
* A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
* A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
* A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
* Bright as Alaska in December.
* One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
* Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
* Fell out of the family tree.
* Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
* Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
* He's so dense, light bends around him.
* If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
* If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
* If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
* It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
* One neuron short of a synapse.
* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
* Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
* Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.