[Damocles]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler Individual perspectives on the matter Woody Allen: I mean, it was, it was ... a legal chicken ... It wasn't like it was a blood relative or anything. (And don't believe anything that Mia says about me.) Aristotle: To actualize its potential. The Dead Sea Scrolls: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. Roseanne: Urrrrrp. What chicken? Jack Benny: I'm thinking. ... I'm thinking Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. James Cagney: It crossed twice. The dirty double-crosser. Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him. John Cleese: This Chicken is no more. It has ceased to function. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's a stiff. If it wasn't nailed to the road it'd be pushing up daisies. It's snuffed it. It's metabolic processes are now history. It's bleeding demised. It's rung down the curtain, shuffled off the mortal coil and joined the bleeding Choir Invisible. This is an Ex-Chicken. Ergo, it did not cross the road. Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads James Dean: To prove he wasn't chicken. Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time. Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Bill Gates: To purchase Chicken 2.01a, which will both cross roads and calculate the energy it used. There are bugs, yes, but if you uninstall Traffic 2.0 and Farmer 1.2 it will run. If it freezes at WhiteLine 2.0, we have a patch ... Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom. Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Sherlock Holmes: Do not concern yourself with the chicken that did cross the road; the answer lies with the chicken that did not cross the road. Saddam Hussein: It is the Mother of all Chickens. Terry Jones: This isn't a chicken license! It's a dog license with the word "Dog" crossed out and "Chicken" written in in crayon. Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads. This brought such occurrences into being.