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Old March 14th, 2004, 12:18 PM   #7
Muff Daggy
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Colonial Fleets

Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900


Hi Dawg! Well, I have to agree with Antelope, this would've been a great episode for season 2! It has mystery and heart, perfect for BSG. And you did a marvelous job of sustaining the supense until Ramses' true nature was revealed.

I really loved some of the passages...

He bent slightly and their lips met, briefly, fully, in a momentary kiss that lasted forever but ended far too soon.

Very, very cool!

Ramses stepped up so mere inches separated them; eyes of black ice bored into eyes of gray, and the gray eyes flinched.

Terrific imagery!

He shut down his pulsars as the first of the Vipers began to land, the canopy releasing with a hiss.

I could practically hear this happen myself!
I also love the title of the story...

Dawg, I think you're on to something really special here - not just how well you wrote the story, but the idea of episodic-length stories - what a great idea!!! You should do lots more of these and put them into a compilation!

I am SO impressed with the talent our fellow CF fans possess. Please, please write more of these Dawg! I think the concept of writing episode-length stories is a truly wonderful idea. I hope to see more of Ramses soon!!!

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