For myself, most of the changes I'd make are of the very dry kind; make sure that terms are used consistantly, if not nessicarily accurately. For instnace, "Star System" should always mean the same thing.
Also, distinguish between the parts that were "deliberately vague" and "accidentally confusing". For instance, I think I have finally figured out how the Colonies were layed out and where Carrilon was in relation to them, and it is not nearly as silly as I first thought.
Eric:
#1-I agree it should be made clearer, but as it came up in another thread: Only Adama was paranoid enough to be pushing the envelope of his orders by having patrols out, and Adar flatly did not believe the incoming ships were an attack force. While I do believe some of the other captains should have issued Alert orders on Adama's report, we know for sure that Adar would not issue a fleetwide alert.
Thus, Galactica was the only ship to have it's fighters prepped for launch and pilots in them at the moment the Cylons opened fire.
And, as Repcisg has painstakingly worked out, if you let that many Cylon fighters get into firing range before sounding the alert, you're toast. (He figures 3 minutes from Alert to Launch, and at that rate many Battlestars never get a chance to launch.)
#2-sub-1, It is important that we never see Charybdis before Murder on the Rising Star, otherwise we'll know who the killer is and why long before the characters do. Can't do a mystery if the audience knows all the twists.
That said, the Character could be mentioned but kept off screen.
#2-sub-2, Originally, I though this could be fixed better by confining the changes to Take the Celestra. That is, Starbuck believed Aurora was killed in an attack that happened
before the Peace Conference, and may have started dating Athena on the rebound.
However, you've won me over.
The only thing I don't like about this is it has Starbuck hooking up with Cassiopea on the rebound from Aurora's death. But that's a small thing.
#2-sub-3, A little more detail would go a long way here. As Adama and Adar are arguing, Adama insisting the Cylons desire for peace is false, you could stick in some history. Adama pointing out how the war has been going against the colonies, what with the loss of Cain and the entire Fifth Fleet two Yahren ago, so why would the Cylons want peace? And Adar retorting that the Cylons know as well as we do that the tide of war ebbs and flows, and a decade(?) before Molecay was Casmaro Archipelago.
Much later posts:
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This required eliminating the scene in the actual episode where Baltar is seen talking to a centurion on the surface of Caprica, because it just wouldn't structurally fit to see Baltar doing this and not realizing by this point that he's been doublecrossed (The dialogue of this scene was transferred to a scene between Imperious Leader and a subordinate).
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This strikes me as a very bad call. If you must, have Baltar go to Caprica to gloat and then go home and discover the double-cross.
It is this scene on Caprica, where Baltar casually orders the Centurian to exterminate the surviving humans, that establishes that Baltar is not just traitorous and deluded, but actually
evil.
Later still:
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#4-Another element of foreshadowing is to give some plausibility to Cassiopeia later becoming a med-tech, so I added some dialogue when she has her arm fixed about being aware of medical equipment and having had training in medicine at one time before she decided to become a socialator.
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Good Call.
As for Serina dying, the only real problem I have with keeping it intact (and writing her out of LPOTG) is this: even as a kid it was clear to me that there weren't enough ships to take everyone from the Colonies. Folks were packed in like cattle, and they still had to leave people behind. Adama spoke to Athena about "handing out priorities ..."
So how did a terminally ill person get a slot?
And for the other Vipers, here's a detail that needs some addressing: throughout the pilot if not the entire series, some of Galactica's Viper pilots should have helmets with the wrong crest on them, the crest from their original ship.
In fact, I have considered having Starbuck be from another ship. Still Apollo's best friend and dating Athena, but a Squadron Commander on another Battlestar.
