[Micheleh]

...Battlescar Attactica Episode 3: The Schtick Bay Scenes!

***

The lost have been found- Captain Apilllow returned in a commandeered Nylon delivery shuttle, after having heroically rescued Fastbuck and Bummer from the evil clutches of the Nylon Border Patrol. We find the unconscious warriors at death's door in Schtickbay, while Apillow is mysteriously absent....

Adrama and Tighdye rush into Schtickbay to confront a scene of horror- ghastly organs and things best left undescribed strewn about in plain view. Adrama confronts this spectacle in shock.

"Doctor Salycilic! How many times do I have to tell you no eating in schickbay!" He shudders. "I *hate* menudo."

The medic smoothly interposes himself between the smoldering Commander and his lunch. "Of course, Commander. I'll have it taken out and tuppered. I take it you are here about the two warriors..."

"Exactly! Spill it, Doctor. How are they?"

"Well, their vitals are stable, they are both reading with proper levels of habeus corpus, compost mentis, ad sic horum...

"Knock it of, Salycilic." He ignores the wisened medic's reproachful expression at the interuption. "I bet you make half of that up. Just tell me what the problem is."

"Uh, sir... their weapons were confiscated."

"Is that all? Issue them new blasters and deduct it from their pay."

'Uh, no, sir... you don't understand... their WEAPONS were CONFISCATED."

"I heard you the first time, Salycilic, and I'd appreciate if you would not waggle your eyebrows at me on duty. It gives the wrong impression."

Dr. Salycilic screws up aforementioned brows in fristration, pausing for some time, before sighing. "I think you'd better look at these mediscans, sir."

"Dammit, Salycilic, I'm a commander, not a HOLY PEAS AND CARROTS, THEY CONFISCATED THEIR WEAPONS!!!"

Salycilic purses hs lips ruefully. "Yes, sir, I'm afraid so."

"By the Lords of Noboll, this means war! Arm the warriors! Gas up the Wipers! We won't rest until we have recovered the Jewels of the Colonies! Tighdye!!"

"Yessir!"

"Tell my son, Captain Apillow, to form a rescue squatron!"

"Ah... there may be a slight difficulty with that, sir."

"What do you mean, difficulty?"

"Sir, I last saw Captain Apillow sulking aound the rec deck, playing cards, getting drunk, and threatening to run away with the Colonial Circius."

Adrama stares at his CO in stunned amazement. "Tighdye, I think we have a problem."

"Sir!" A medtech barks. "We have a transmission from the bridge! There is an incoming message from the 3rd Basestar! It's..... Faultar!"

A stunned silence falls over the schtickbay. Col. Tighdye looks at his old comrade and chief gravely. "Adrama, *now* we have a problem."

***

As we leave the command of the Attactica horrified at the developments in Schtickbay, puzzled over the behavior of Apillow, and stunned at the transmission from Faultar, we can't help but wonder- who is writing this drivel, anyway? Stay tuned!

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