I'm very sorry to hear about this. My son was born at 27 weeks. A co-worker of mine had twins at 23 weeks, another had tripplets in the early 20 weeks and lost one. What your friend is going through is just awfull, plain and simple. All you really can do is pray for the strength of your friend and the children. As others have said, the care of premies is a known science/art and children are stronger than we sometimes give them credit for. None of which reduces the feeling of utter helplesness which comes with this moment. Whatever the next few hours and days bring, the best thing you can do is be emotionally present and listen. There's no advice to give, and the comfort one can offer in a moment like this is sharing with mom that she doesn't have to endure it alone.
One of the things I remember most about my sons birth was when the OR nurse came out and congratulated me on being a father. My first though was "what are you, nuts!?" but it made me realize that whatever the circumstances, this was still the occasion of new life, and that it was still a moment that deserved to be recognized as such.
I hope that the next 48 hours bring news of survival and sustained strength.
There are a fair amount of internet and live support groups/resources for premie parents and their families/friends. It's been a few years since I've been more actively involved. But if you're interested PM me with your locale and I'll see what I can dig up in your area.
-Thinking of you,
C1C
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