Re: Clean joke of the day.
Buffalo
What did mama buffalo say when her youngest went off to college? "Bison." Anteaters Why don't anteaters ever get sick? Because they're full of anty bodies! Rabbits What do you call a hundred rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line! Snakes First snake: "What is 56 minus 14?" Second snake: "How do I know, I'm an adder!" Orange What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Orange What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! Sheepdog What do you get if you cross a sheepdog and a daffodil? A collie-flower! Frog What do you get when you cross a frog and a bunny? A ribbit! |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Q: What do you call a Volon baby?
A: Osh Kosh ...... Knock knock Who's there? Kosh. Kosh who? Gesundheidt! ...... Knock Knock Who's there? Morden Morden Who? Morden that I can't tell you. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Q: What's Neroon in Ring of Fire?
A: MinBar-B-Q ...... Q: What kind of luggage does a Pak'Ma'Ra take on plane? A: Carrion ...... Q: How many Mimbari does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. .....They always surrender before they finish the job and never tell you why. ...... Q: How many Centauri does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. .....But in the Grand old days of the Republic, .....Hundreds of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at our slightest whim! ...... Q: What's more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narn? A: One angry Narn--with the key. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you say when somebody drops a 200 pound bell on your foot?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you say to 535 Congress-cretins who pass a two trillion dollar deficit?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Hpw do you get lost in space?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a road?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Another Chicken joke.
Quote:
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How fast can chickens fly?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How many chickens does it take to lay an egg?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
When will all the chickens come home to roost?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Congress jokes.
Why do we have a Congress? |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
"Here's an interesting figure, 43 percent of the incoming Congressional freshmen are millionaires. The other 57 percent are Republicans."
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Drop another two hundred pound bell! What does Captain Obvious say about you?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Moo.
Cows & Politics Explained A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what's your neighbr's problem? He needs to go and get a bull and rent him to you for stud! AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one to a socialist for an enormous profit, buy a bull, and then build a whole herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares you bankrupt. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them. AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Moo.
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How many cows does it take to change a light bulb?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How many fingers am I holding up?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
lol
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