Julix's corner

[julix]

I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of



2)
Happiness an elusive dream
floating through my fingers
so often slipping away
like a whim
sometimes I try to chase it
or squeeze it to get it to stay
sometimes I hold on too tight
or shy away
sometimes I don't even try
at all, but then there is
no hope...and I am not ready to
live a life without hope
So I continue to dream


3)
I was outside; it was snowing
I was alone and it was so cold
So long ago it seemed.
The snow fell freely around me
The flakes were so beautiful and unique
So light and innocent, without a doubt.
How gently they floated down to the earth.
I reached out and tried to hold the memories
But like the snow flakes the memories melted away.


So what do you think?I had one of these published in the school newspaper
when I was fifteen.

[The 14th Colony]

Very, very good. I like it, though it feels like the poem is about me at this time, it's how I feel pretty much. So I can relate to what you expressed in the poem. Nicely done.

[justjackrandom]

The first one makes me want to say: Do it!!! Step out and take the risk. You CAN do it!

The next two are sad, and make me feel like I need to hug the writer...

Well done!!!

:salute:

JJR

[Archangel]

They are good, Julix :)

[martok2112]

Beautifully written, Julix. Beautiful indeed :) (((((((((((((Julix))))))))))) I especially enjoyed the last verse. Wonderful.

I think Muffit would be proud. ;)

Affectionately,
Martok2112

[thomas7g]

When it comes to poetry...I'm definitely colorblind. I want to say something nice. But I'm very obtuse when it comes to poetry.
:(

[BST]

Very nicely done, julix. :thumbsup:

I agree with JJR about the 1st poem. DO IT! Go for your dream. You get precious few opportunities to do that. If you wait too long, it's gone, like the memories you spoke about in the 3rd poem.

[braxiss]

very nice julix :salute:

[amberstar]

Well done sis....... You should continue to write :rose:

[Muffit]

Verrrry nice Julix! I agree with our wonderful resident Klingon Martok, I AM proud of you! The last one gave me a little chill of warmth. Thanks for sharing!!


Affectionately,
Muffit
:muffit:

[julix]

Thank you so much everyone :rose: :rose: :rose: :kiss: :kiss: :love: your words are so wonderful and kind and mean so much to me!

Thank you all!

[julix]

Here are a couple more:
1)
The depth of the darkness
is terrifying
like a hole that swallows you up
a strugle to get out
but no rope or ladder ever comes
The days melt together
Doing the right thing
Doing what everyone else needs
So I won't feel the pain
It cuts everywhere leaves
no place immune
The loss so profound
The destruction complete
my soul cries out
But it is loss in the void



Time stood still as I
danced round and round
with you
the most perfect moment
So wonderful and safe
I was Daddy's little girl
a princess's dream
the music so perfect
matching every step
every emotion
Glimpses of our faces
full of love and joy
round and round
we went
if I could freeze time
It would stay forever
in that dance


3)
A soldier in a frame
the picture so clear
and yet the man
unknown to me
I memorized
every line of color
every feature
the loss of knowing
so deep
there is the father
who was gone too soon
but the loss of knowing
the man
even greater

so, I am mostly writing them out for me...but any comments appreciated.
Thanks

[julix]

Oh, I forgot des anyone have any tips on getting pubished or any information?

Thanks
I tried just doing a search of gettin published and it mostly came up with books written on how to get published....LOL

[julix]

here it is Shiningstar............

[martok2112]

Beautiful and evocative, Julix. A true expression of self there, indeed. I remember even in some posts how you said that you often have difficulty in expressing yourself. I think these poems, these musings prove the absolute reverse.

You truly have a gift there. Keep it up.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Julix)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) :rose: :rose: :rose:

Martok2112

[The 14th Colony]

There is a lot of :heart: expressed there, a lot of adult pains and little girl fears wrapped together. Touching stuff, my friend. :)

[repcisg]

Very nice indeed, check out some of the writers magazines, they often have listings for poetry contests and publishers.

[julix]

Thanks Rep, 14th, and Martok

Thanks for the response you guys! You are all so wonderful :heart: :heart: :heart: It does my heart good, you don't know how much it means to me! Thanks for the tip rep!

[julix]

!)
As my mind goes back
through time
like a train making
stops, now and then
the tunnel gets
darker to a time
so filled with pain
My mind cries out
but my voice
is silent
a jumbled mix of thoughts
that don't make sense
confusion that has
no escape
Pain that is so deep
it is white
with no sound
no knowledge
no escape




2)
There was a life
so perfect and complete
so filled with love and happiness
Almost like a dream
in an instant it was gone
black to white
white to black
the same things I saw
the day before
look foreign now
no color
no light
Childhood innocence lost
Joy of life forgotten
to make way for
the enourmous
pain that took over
never to leave
only to try
to be survived

[julix]

1)
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied


2)
I long for the day
when the grief
has become quiet
when the giant
will sleep forever
but for now I see
I must continue on
try to do what I must
the pain, the hurt
so great there
is no relief
only struggle
only a journey
I am forced into
and afraid to take



3)
What cost must I pay?
What price to be released?
From a cell that has no bars
A prison with no key
many days of pushing away
the thoughts and emotions
only to have them return
with a vengence
overwhelming my mind
into silence

[shiningstar]

I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of



2)
Happiness an elusive dream
floating through my fingers
so often slipping away
like a whim
sometimes I try to chase it
or squeeze it to get it to stay
sometimes I hold on too tight
or shy away
sometimes I don't even try
at all, but then there is
no hope...and I am not ready to
live a life without hope
So I continue to dream


3)
I was outside; it was snowing
I was alone and it was so cold
So long ago it seemed.
The snow fell freely around me
The flakes were so beautiful and unique
So light and innocent, without a doubt.
How gently they floated down to the earth.
I reached out and tried to hold the memories
But like the snow flakes the memories melted away.


So what do you think?I had one of these published in the school newspaper
when I was fifteen.

Very good I like them. I hope you keep writing.

[julix]

thank you Shiningstar :rose:

[amberstar]

1)
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied

I can relate to this one Sis......so many times I have felt this way....
Just beautiful :rose:

[julix]

Thank you so much Sis...
I know you know, we have that in common. Thanks for your kind words :heart:

[Muffit]

Hi Julix! I can /so/ identify with your words. Again, you have touched a chord in me. Great work ;)

:muffit:




1)
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied


2)
I long for the day
when the grief
has become quiet
when the giant
will sleep forever
but for now I see
I must continue on
try to do what I must
the pain, the hurt
so great there
is no relief
only struggle
only a journey
I am forced into
and afraid to take



3)
What cost must I pay?
What price to be released?
From a cell that has no bars
A prison with no key
many days of pushing away
the thoughts and emotions
only to have them return
with a vengence
overwhelming my mind
into silence

[julix]

Muffit
Thank you so much your words mean so much to me! You are the master...I am but the learner ;) I do think that my dear muffit...i am so happy right now....thank you :rose: :rose: :heart: :rose:

[julix]

1)
I try every door
every window
and still no exit
no way to feel
whole or complete
only a little girl
hiding and sitting alone
the tears flow like a river
that makes an ocean
water all around
drowning in tears of pain
no comfort or warmth
no one to save me
struggling in a sea
of grief
as I go under
yet again
wanting to be safe
but lost in a
vast watery void
with no life, no sign
no rescue




2)
Too many times
I walk away
afraid to dream
a life without expression
a way of traveling through time
totally numb
the spirit longs to be
free to go anywhere
but is held down
by some unseen enemy
a long-time fear
never to subside
a way to break through
unknown to me

[The 14th Colony]

Julix, check into some of these links:
http://www.aar-online.org/
http://www.sfwa.org/writing/agents.htm
http://www.sfwa.org/writing/OP71.htm
http://www.authorlink.com/605001in.html
http://www.publishersweekly.com/index.asp?publication=publishersweekly
http://www.randomhouse.com/index.pperl
http://salon.com/books/feature/2002/02/25/slush/index.html
http://www.sfwa.org/bulletin/articles/stalled.htm
http://www.sfwa.org/contracts/contracts.htm
http://www.speculations.com/rumormill/
http://www.sfwa.org/Beware/Safesearch.html
http://www.copyright.gov/
http://www.sfwa.org/beware/copyright.html
http://www.writersdigest.com/store/books.asp

Some of these may have some good info and insight for you to put to use. :)

[The 14th Colony]

Oh, that last one was about me all right. Your wording hits home my friend. Strong expressions of wording they are.

[julix]

Searching through time
for a clue
that makes sense
some puzzle piece
that allows my spirit
to comprehend
the darkness around it
swiriling and pulling
in all directions
ending up nowhere
except back to the
same spot
flashes of light
in patterns that
are undone
time and life
a mystery
that is unwilling
to yield

[Muffit]

Way coolish Julix!! :thumbsup:

[julix]

Way coolish Julix!! :thumbsup:


Thank you Muffit(my computer won't let me do the smiles right now)Heart and rose and smile.......lol

[bsg1fan1975]

nice!

[julix]

Here is my first poem not about grief and pain....




I will never forget
the way your eyes
cut through me
right down to
my very soul
a moment so filled
with a kind of
mesmorizing gaze
I have never experienced
before or since
piercing me like
the point of a knife
cutting through
the self-protecting
illusional armour
flesh then bone
leaving a lasting mark
never to fade
always having
a place deep
within me

[julix]

Thanks Bsg :)

[martok2112]

Here is my first poem not about grief and pain....




I will never forget
the way your eyes
cut through me
right down to
my very soul
a moment so filled
with a kind of
mesmorizing gaze
I have never experienced
before or since
piercing me like
the point of a knife
cutting through
the self-protecting
illusional armour
flesh then bone
leaving a lasting mark
never to fade
always having
a place deep
within me


Very nice, Julix. :) :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :rose:

Martok2112

[shiningstar]

Beautiful Julix! Keep writing :thumbsup:

[julix]

Thanks Martok and Shingingstar....I am glad you liked it :heart: :heart: :heart:

[amberstar]

I really enjoy your poems sis......hope you keep writing.

:rose: :rose:

[Archangel]

Keep it up, Julix! :)

[repcisg]

this is good stuff!

[julix]

Amber,Archangel, and Repcisg,

Thank you so much for you kind words and support :heart: :heart: :heart:
It means so much to me.......

[julix]

soft faded colors
a deep trance
a figure fuzzy
in the distance
a slow gait
which comes to me
features now clearer
white light and
flickers of my eye
a face which
stops my heart
filled with a mixture
of love and grief
trying to hold on
to a memory
forcing myself to feel
wanting the joy
and trying to hold on
happiness and pain mix
together at once

[repcisg]

I can see it clearly, oh fond memory.

[gmd3d]

soft faded colors
a deep trance
a figure fuzzy
in the distance
a slow gait
which comes to me
features now clearer
white light and
flickers of my eye
a face which
stops my heart
filled with a mixture
of love and grief
trying to hold on
to a memory
forcing myself to feel
wanting the joy
and trying to hold on
happiness and pain mix
together at once

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I like this one julix, for many reasons.

[julix]

Thanks rep and Taranis......
I really appreciate the feedback!!!! :heart:
Taranis do you mind telling me more about what things you did like....It just helps to have feedback. Thank you both so much!

[julix]

Here is another poem...I am not real happy with this one...but any feedback is appreciated :)


A long journey
It seems
Hard and vast
Treacherous
So many obstacles
Which only taunt me
As I feel
I will never find
The end, my goal
So far away
Unattainable
It seems
As I continue to climb
I feel doubt and fear
Confusion
Can I make it?
I stumble and fall
Yet again like
so many times before
do I dare get up again?
And if I do where
Do I turn?
The path is not clear
There is no map
No compass
No help
I am alone in my quest

[Archangel]

It's good. I'm pretty sure most of us have felt that way at one time or another. ;)

[julix]

Thanks Arch......It is great to see ya. It seems I hardly do anymore :)

[Archangel]

Probably timing.

For the time being, I'm not on at nights anymore. :(

[julix]

Probably timing.

For the time being, I'm not on at nights anymore. :(


ahhhh...that would explain it. can I be nosey and ask why??? Well I guess I did ask :LOL: can you answer....you don't have too :)

[onepath]

Here is another poem...I am not real happy with this one...but any feedback is appreciated :)


A long journey
It seems
Hard and vast
Treacherous
So many obstacles
Which only taunt me
As I feel
I will never find
The end, my goal
So far away
Unattainable
It seems
As I continue to climb
I feel doubt and fear
Confusion
Can I make it?
I stumble and fall
Yet again like
so many times before
do I dare get up again?
And if I do where
Do I turn?
The path is not clear
There is no map
No compass
No help
I am alone in my quest

i think those words are v v well written, i too have writen a whole book of poems for my loved ones back home while im away in the desert

[gmd3d]

Here is another poem...I am not real happy with this one...but any feedback is appreciated :)


A long journey
It seems
Hard and vast
Treacherous
So many obstacles
Which only taunt me
As I feel
I will never find
The end, my goal
So far away
Unattainable
It seems
As I continue to climb
I feel doubt and fear
Confusion
Can I make it?
I stumble and fall
Yet again like
so many times before
do I dare get up again?
And if I do where
Do I turn?
The path is not clear
There is no map
No compass
No help
I am alone in my quest


I like this .. its where I am at this moment in time... have some decissions to make and soon..? the thing about been alone is ..you are..even in a crowded room your thoughts and concerns flooding your mind... without rest.. relentless thought beating there way into your mind..and your traped behind the shell of your mind..

just my thoughts on your poem...and where it fits in with me at this time..

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Archangel]

ahhhh...that would explain it. can I be nosey and ask why??? Well I guess I did ask :LOL: can you answer....you don't have too :)
No big secret. :D

Until I get back to work (this spring) I'm on a public computer. The owners may be a little offended if I sneak in after-hours. ;)

[julix]

No big secret. :D

Until I get back to work (this spring) I'm on a public computer. The owners may be a little offended if I sneak in after-hours. ;)


ahhh...just checking into those clandestine angelic activites ;)

[julix]

There is a wound
so deep it
hits the core
burried and raw
festering
no type of medicine
can heal
the deep twisting
pain within
created long ago
the injury
invisible to all
who gaze at me
the hole deep inside is
undetetable
but ever present
a constant torment
which never retreats
The pain of living a
life unloved
by the most important
person in the world
ME

[julix]

Looking from the outside in
what appears?
I don't know what
the reflection shows
If the image were stable
instead of a flickering light
could it be then
a true statement
would be found


Searching for the light
a way to make things
make sense
seem complete
comming together
to create a harmony
never before
felt or seen

[julix]

I have a favor to ask I am gonna submit 2 or 3 poems to a contest.......can I have some feedback on which ones you all think are the best????



I would really, really appriciate it............... :)

[amberstar]

I'm not good at picking what may do well in a contest, but these three are my favorite :)

First poem on post #20

Second poem on post #19

and the poem on post #43

Good luck with the contest, I'm rooting for you sis :D

[julix]

Thanks Sis..............



anyone else want to put their opinions in?????Please :D

[julix]

any other feedback??? I am going to submit some poems to a contest.........I would love feedback. Thank you to those who have given me their choices already!

[Gemini1999]

Joni -

I never knew you had such a dark side...

What style of poetry is that? I'm not an expert, that's why I'm asking.

Nice to see your face again!

Bryan

[justjackrandom]

I have a favor to ask I am gonna submit 2 or 3 poems to a contest.......can I have some feedback on which ones you all think are the best????

I am certainly no expert, but here are my three favorites:

#3 in post #28
Post # 34
Post # 47

Good luck in the contest...your work is excellent, and is certainly award-worthy. You have my thoughts and prayers in your endeavor. As they say in the theater world: “Break a leg!”

--JJR :salute: :salute:

[julix]

Joni -

I never knew you had such a dark side...

What style of poetry is that? I'm not an expert, that's why I'm asking.

Nice to see your face again!

Bryan
Ummmmmm,
Actually my poems surprize even my closest friends who have known me for 20 years....but not that I have a dark side per se.....but most all of these poems(I really don't know the style) came from the pain of loosing my father.......I was too young to express the pain as a child so in these words it helps me express the grief and loss.

[julix]

I am certainly no expert, but here are my three favorites:

#3 in post #28
Post # 34
Post # 47

Good luck in the contest...your work is excellent, and is certainly award-worthy. You have my thoughts and prayers in your endeavor. As they say in the theater world: “Break a leg!”

--JJR :salute: :salute:
Thank you so much JJR for your kind words and your feedback! It means alot to me.

[cobrastrikelead]

Excellent writing.

[gmd3d]

I will start reading again tomorrow . but the poam i remarked on is still my fav :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[gmd3d]

Looking from the outside in
what appears?
I don't know what
the reflection shows
If the image were stable
instead of a flickering light
could it be then
a true statement
would be found


Searching for the light
a way to make things
make sense
seem complete
comming together
to create a harmony
never before
felt or seen


This is another contender That I enjoy and mirrors what many people feel

[julix]

Excellent writing.
Thank you Cobrastrikelead!
I really appreciate the feedback!

[julix]

This is another contender That I enjoy and mirrors what many people feel
Thanks Taranis for looking them over again, it means a lot to me! My heart and soul are in these words which capture a very dark time for me. it defines the loss of my father as a child. I had someone tell me maybe the reason I like BG(tos) is because of Lorne Green's Adama who is such a great father figure. I think it might be true, I always felt safe with him and knew he would find earth someday!

[cobrastrikelead]

today that your stuff should be at the top of the page.

[julix]

today that your stuff should be at the top of the page.



awwww,
thank you! That made my day :)

[Darrell Lawrence]

Hey julix, a writing challenge for ya- A poem about this -> http://instagibfighters.ngz-server.de/MouseClan/Smilies/dancing/015.gif

:D

[julix]

Your challenge limit may be up Warrior............. ;)

[Darrell Lawrence]

:eek:

[julix]

here are a couple I wrote awhile ago.......

An endless trickle of water
Down the stream of life
Always changing
Always ebbing and flowing
Sometimes bright and happy
Sometimes cold and stormy
But always evolving
As day into night
Night into day




and........





As a butterfly is first
Coming out of it’s cocoon
Full of ooze and fear
Unsure of the next stage
Clinging to a life
It has always known

There is a moment when
It comes down to faith
And instinct, beyond the mind
Where it must let go
Of the old shell and break out to a new life


Just as death is the next step
An evolution in the stage of life
Unknown
Cold
Dark
But I wonder
Can it be beautiful ?
Calm
Peaceful
Free of physical pain
And free from suffering

[julix]

it has been awhile since I wrote any poems.............
I think I am having writers block.............darn it.

[julix]

ok.....just saying that helped....but these are ideas



A breathe held
everytime one of them
walks out the door
will it come again?
the nameless faceless
cloud which
envelopes
and shatters
which tears
breaks and
leaves
complete darkness

[julix]

Standing on a line
not sure which
way to step
frozen infear
pondering all
the emotions
thoughts
carefully
I walk the line
mindful
of all
I have
and
all I can lose

[bsg1fan1975]

very good!

[julix]

Thanks BSG.....it is always good to see you!

[julix]

The whole is splintered
into shattered pieces
of a broken heart
which will not mend
never to come together
unfulfilled
scarred
torn
Impossible to heal
magnets of time
can't pull the pieces
whole again
no amount
no measure
no pleasure
only pieces
left undone

[bsg1fan1975]

keep it coming!

[julix]

Water memories
clear, stable water
life giving water
to be around it is to remember
a clear blue body
a mountain setting
so many times happy
flashes in the mind's eye
and in my soul
drawn back through time
pieces, fragments of time
some so filled with complete
joy
Untill
a break in time
a loss so complete
starring at the calm waters
I see the darkness
that is below the surface

[julix]

ooooooooo,
the picture sent for this threadlooks good yes?

[The 14th Colony]

Very deep Julix, very profound. That one about heartbreak and loss is the one I most felt touched by, but I still have more to read.

[julix]

Pain
so intense my heart
is pounding
I feel dizzy
disconnected
lost and alone
the pain
mutiplies it seems
no escape
I can't think
my heart pounds so
I want to run
but know there is
no where I can go
that the pain won't find me
again
and again

[repcisg]

I know of which you speak.

[julix]

I know of which you speak.


Then you may need a hug...................(((((((((((((((((rep)))))))))))))))))) I will give ya one anyway!

[repcisg]

Thank you Julix,

We tend to write of that we know,
so just for you ...................(((((((((((((((((Julix))))))))))))))))))

from me.

[julix]

Thank you Julix,

We tend to write of that we know,
so just for you ...................(((((((((((((((((Julix))))))))))))))))))

from me.


Awwwwwwwwwww,
Thanks, you don't know how much I needed that actually...........

[julix]

Watching
in a world
that doesn't fit
like a million
puzzle pieces
undone
scattered
continually turning
pieces
round and back
inside and out
still no chance
no way to feel
the wholeness

[julix]

A spirit shattered
a breaking point
splintered
mirrored segments
of a whole
that is
never in harmony
disjointed
and broken
a vital piece
gone forever

[Compass]

I feel sharp edges...

[The 14th Colony]

Those were very good Jonie, and very dark. From the depths of you to the heart of me, they moved me. :)

[julix]

I feel sharp edges...


Indeed..there are, but if you met me you wouldn't see it or feel it. Just me, it is all inside.


Thanks for the feedback :)

[julix]

Those were very good Jonie, and very dark. From the depths of you to the heart of me, they moved me. :)



Then I am glad my friend(((((ron))))))) On any given day that is the most I could hope for :)

[The 14th Colony]

Then I am glad my friend(((((ron))))))) On any given day that is the most I could hope for :)
What you hope for is the least that happens, because what fully happens is far more than I described. :)

[julix]

What you hope for is the least that happens, because what fully happens is far more than I described. :)


This is wonderful and deep my friend! A joy(your friendship) to be bound toghter by our deepest pain......................

[julix]

Darkness surrounds
an innocence lost
a knife with no blade
stabbing, cutting
words and deeds
twist together
until
there is nothing left
the life remains
but the essence
long since
crushed and suffocated
like a delicate
flower
left too long on a shelf
with no nutrients
no warmth
only the cold
harshness
of reality

[Archangel]

It sounds great, J.

But one question...

are you ok? :)

[julix]

It sounds great, J.

But one question...

are you ok? :)
((((((((((((((arch)))))))))))))),
thanks for asking..........that is touching and it really mskes me feel good....I thought this one might get a raised eyebrow. I am going through a healing process, this is just an expression of things I couldn't and didn't say. But if truth be told a little extra support/friendship/hugs wouldn't hurt :)

[The 14th Colony]

(((((((hugs))))))))) x100,000,000...plus a little extra...ooo,ooo,ooo,ooo...
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:
:rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose: :rose:

[julix]

Ron,
awwwwwww. You are the bomb! Really :) Thanks for being you and being my friend.

[The 14th Colony]

No problemo! You don't have to thank me for being me, I had no choice. I wanted to be Stephen Speilberg but they said the part had already been filled. As for being your friend, I did have a choice for that role, and I know I made the right choice. :salute:

[julix]

No problemo! You don't have to thank me for being me, I had no choice. I wanted to be Stephen Speilberg but they said the part had already been filled. As for being your friend, I did have a choice for that role, and I know I made the right choice. :salute:



well, I am so glad you are not Speilberg, cause then we wouldn't be friends and it is better you are you and actually you do have a choice as to what kind of Ron you are going to be and I like the one you are so there!

[The 14th Colony]

well, I am so glad you are not Speilberg, cause then we wouldn't be friends and it is better you are you and actually you do have a choice as to what kind of Ron you are going to be and I like the one you are so there!
That is true, we would not know each other. But I couldn't think of any sci-fi and drama authors off the top of my head so I went with movies and him (I did dream also of being a director when I was a child). But we would still have been friends had I been an established author and my BSG novel had been published years ago. Then I would have joined this site as a celebrity BSG author, and fate would have had us meet as well. As for being able to choose the kind of Ron I am, I wanted to be misty fresh Ron but I had to settle for being potpouri Ron so it wasn't much of my choice. Seriously though, you know that I am not the Ron I want to be, but thank you for loving the remaining good qualities of Ron that still remain. Those remaining qualities, when grouped together, love you back.

[julix]

so it is a group love???? :D ;)

[The 14th Colony]

You make it sound so kinky. And I like it! :D

[julix]

Looking at her
I see all the
things I wish
I could have been
beautiful
confident
free
she is like
flicks of silver
light floating
through the air
she is perfect
and unique
and fills my soul
with bittersweet
happiness of
watching
innocence protected





This is about my 6 yr old daughter Julianna :)

[julix]

Circling mist
and fog unseen
clouds my mind
till there is no
here, no now
lost in a
disoriented state
haunting and
tormenting me
at every turn
cold clammy
enveloping mist
which does
not dissipate

[Dawg]

Looking at her
I see all the
things I wish
I could have been
beautiful
confident
free
she is like
flicks of silver
light floating
through the air
she is perfect
and unique
and fills my soul
with bittersweet
happiness of
watching
innocence protected





This is about my 6 yr old daughter Julianna :)


Very cool.

;)

I am
Dawg
:warrior:

[repcisg]

Indeed, neet!

[julix]

Thanks Mr Dawg,,,,,,,,,,,,,and good to see you :)


Rep.......thanks as well :salute:


I thought y'all may enjoy something lighter, but as you see I am back at the heavy stuff...........better to have it out then inside of me though :)

[The 14th Colony]

..better to have it out then inside of me though :)
Is that your justification for cutting the cheese? :rotf:

Lovely new stuff hun. :thumbsup:

[julix]

Is that your justification for cutting the cheese? :rotf:

Lovely new stuff hun. :thumbsup:



ummmmm,
:wtf: :eek: :LOL: :rotf: Thanks!

[julix]

The potential
for light
like looking
at a sunrise
and feeling
the promise
of a new day
specks of gold
dance through
the darkness
a glimpse
of hope
as the
newness
sinks in

[The 14th Colony]

Hmmmm...thats the first bright poem from you in a long while. I have to get me some of that fish oil! :D

[julix]

The whispering winds
blow and moan
a melancholy sound
of bittersweet years
gone by
a time
forever gone
sweet sounds
of youth
and ease
a time of
butterflies
and
mystery
a beautiful
song
but an
unfinished melody

[The 14th Colony]

Sweet! :thumbsup:

[julix]

a life I struggle
to embrace
held at a distance
time and space unaligned
like watching from
a window into an
another world
that you are unable
to go into or come out of
you want to be
a part of it
but hesitate
becuase if you
go in and fully
be as one
you risk
the raw part
of you that
never healed
and is afraid
to be exposed
to the most devestating
pain you have
ever known
loss

[The 14th Colony]

Hmmmm...another dark and thought-provoking one my friend.

[julix]

Thank you Ron for your feedback........I appreciate it.

[julix]

This is about my son Chris(he was born premature)



To look at him
is to know innocence
the definition of love
he walks in light
like a refreshing breeze
or a new rain
that feeds and cleanses
he is whole in a way
others will never be
yet his mind and body
are not as one
his gentle nature
is like a peaceful
river
that one sits
and watches
appreciates
and learns from

[CaptainTux]

Julix,
I am jumping on this thread little late. I was about to go to bed and started reading your poems. When it comes to writing, I don't pass out accolade lightly. Your poems are truly moving. Not only do I feel like I know you better as you've opened up a window to your soul, but I've been touched by the ones I related to (you may PM me for details as to which ones) and brought to wonder to see who relates to what.

You had me choked a few times, angry others, meloncholy...you name it.

You have a gift that I envy. I can write great press releases, brochures, marketing plans, and some decent technical non fiction....but poetry and touching people....wow!

Thank you.

[Archangel]

It's great as always, Julix. :)

[julix]

Julix,
I am jumping on this thread little late. I was about to go to bed and started reading your poems. When it comes to writing, I don't pass out accolade lightly. Your poems are truly moving. Not only do I feel like I know you better as you've opened up a window to your soul, but I've been touched by the ones I related to (you may PM me for details as to which ones) and brought to wonder to see who relates to what.

You had me choked a few times, angry others, meloncholy...you name it.

You have a gift that I envy. I can write great press releases, brochures, marketing plans, and some decent technical non fiction....but poetry and touching people....wow!

Thank you.



I am amazed, honored and grateful for your comments............you can't know what it means to me! Thanks for your feedback...............expect a PM.

[julix]

It's great as always, Julix. :)


Arch..............
It is great to see ya man, I miss ya. Thank you!

[CaptainTux]

You are welcome Julix. :D :D

[julix]

The cold clammy hand of pain
clutches at my throat once again
there is no escape
no place I can hide
It reaches me and pulls me
down and terrifies me
No matter where I go
or what I do
It finds me
again and again
Will I ever be free of it's grasp?

[julix]

Wandering the planet
Utterly alone
With no harmony
And a tune
That is out of sync
The notes of a melody
That starts out
So sweetly
But then is
Abruptly ended
And changed to a harsh mix
Of notes and sounds
That hurt the ears
And the very soul
Indeed

[julix]

Beauty
Like the thorns of a rose
Constantly pricking at my heart
Making it bleed and sting
Like a rosebud frozen under the ice
Looking for warmth
And wanting to grow
But being crushed
By the very caretakers
That should love it
But can’t
Because a misguided attempt
To make it something
It doesn’t want to be
Beautiful
Beautiful by their own definition
Not the only one that matters

[CaptainTux]

Forgive me, but I am about to hijack your thread and deliver on a promiose I made months ago to tell you which ones I relate to. Would do it through PM, but this is easier. 'Sides, you bared your soul...so I guess it is fair.

[CaptainTux]

I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of




Maybe we are not 15 anymore, but the lesson is true. It was when I was alone in the house and Jess was visiting her mamma that one night silence gripped me. I had the freedom to do what I wanted, but I had no idea what that was. I had pretended to be happy for so long and appeased other people. I lost myself. I had been pretending for so long and had so many masks that I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. To be 34 and have that thought was terrifying.

[CaptainTux]

1)
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied


2)
I long for the day
when the grief
has become quiet
when the giant
will sleep forever
but for now I see
I must continue on
try to do what I must
the pain, the hurt
so great there
is no relief
only struggle
only a journey
I am forced into
and afraid to take



3)
What cost must I pay?
What price to be released?
From a cell that has no bars
A prison with no key
many days of pushing away
the thoughts and emotions
only to have them return
with a vengence
overwhelming my mind
into silence

Now remember, we are not talking exact parallels here, but there are reflections.
#1 I have often felt like I see all my friends and associates through a long tunnel or a fishbowl. There is some kind of barrier that prohibits me from being truly joined with them and they seem to be a community. I am in a crowd....alone.

It often feels like there is a weight or somehting else in the back of my mind.


#2 In one year I have seen a marriage crumble, two friends die, a young girl get raped by a friend of mine, two get diagnosed with cancer, and a few more have other problems. I want to support them and help them, I want to get through my own problems, but there are some days it felt so heavy and so big...too big. But I had not choice. I had to finish today and face tommorrow. I wanted to enjoy today and not dread the next, but I could not for a time.

#3 What cost must I pay. Tell me what I did, how do get out of it, and make the suffering stop. Been there. Reality, I did nothing. I just let the events of my life dictate my emotions. Ick.

[CaptainTux]

Too many times
I walk away
afraid to dream
a life without expression
a way of traveling through time
totally numb
the spirit longs to be
free to go anywhere
but is held down
by some unseen enemy
a long-time fear
never to subside
a way to break through
unknown to me

It was thought EXACTLY like this and some tough and true words of honest friendship from a certain two brained cylon that woke me up. This was not the same guy who was known to be able to do anything in college. The one who was fearless. I was mere steps away from being a hermit afraid of all. I went after my dreams with new vigor.

I have wanted to write and speak publicly and change the direction a bit of an industry that needs training. Well, I got three articles under my belt now, several speaking engagements with good reports, and more down the way. Even had me a little feeler from a magazine. All I had to do was get past this poem...not so easy. It consumed me. Wanting more and reaching for it despite setbacks are two different matters.

[CaptainTux]

There is a wound
so deep it
hits the core
burried and raw
festering
no type of medicine
can heal
the deep twisting
pain within
created long ago
the injury
invisible to all
who gaze at me
the hole deep inside is
undetetable
but ever present
a constant torment
which never retreats
The pain of living a
life unloved
by the most important
person in the world
ME


From the age of nine to the age of thirteen my mother was married to a man who liked beating us. I broke the chain and the rules of what normally happens to adult chidren of abuse. I never was cruel to Jen, I was and am a good father to my daughter, I went to college, I was able to hold jobs...but somewhere deep inside, this little boy sat in a closet with bruises thinking he was nothing. Thinking this was the fate he deserved. Thinking he will amount to nothing. Overall, I have beaten that, but there are days where that wound still makes me my own wost enemy.

[CaptainTux]

Further personal reflections will have to wait for another time. Sorry. I have to take care of some Christmas matters! Whee!

[julix]

Captain,
thanks for the feedback. I am glad you felt like you could share it. I also can't tell you what it means to me when people say they relate or feel things when reading my peoms. It is such a wonderful feeling, thank you!

[julix]

A road
A special night
Filled with wonder
And delight
My children’s eyes sparkling
A vison of a memory
A thought strikes me
Sudden pain
Again the grief
Washes over the hole
In my heart
The hole that has never healed
Surrounded by family
And feeling the pain
But not being able to acknowledge it
It gets pushed down…
Down deep
Where it remains
Until I am alone in the dark
Shaking
Crying
In fear
Just like the little girl
Who used to cry herself to sleep.

[The 14th Colony]

A road
A special night
Filled with wonder
And delight
My children’s eyes sparkling
A vison of a memory
A thought strikes me
Sudden pain
Again the grief
Washes over the hole
In my heart
The hole that has never healed
Surrounded by family
And feeling the pain
But not being able to acknowledge it
It gets pushed down…
Down deep
Where it remains
Until I am alone in the dark
Shaking
Crying
In fear
Just like the little girl
Who used to cry herself to sleep.
I hear you loud and clear.

[captmiloman]

I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of



2)
Happiness an elusive dream
floating through my fingers
so often slipping away
like a whim
sometimes I try to chase it
or squeeze it to get it to stay
sometimes I hold on too tight
or shy away
sometimes I don't even try
at all, but then there is
no hope...and I am not ready to
live a life without hope
So I continue to dream


3)
I was outside; it was snowing
I was alone and it was so cold
So long ago it seemed.
The snow fell freely around me
The flakes were so beautiful and unique
So light and innocent, without a doubt.
How gently they floated down to the earth.
I reached out and tried to hold the memories
But like the snow flakes the memories melted away.


So what do you think?I had one of these published in the school newspaper
when I was fifteen.



I can relate to the first poem. Great job, Julix.

[julix]

Hey Captmiloman

Thanks for the feedback, I honestly didn't see it untill today :)

[amberstar]

I love them sis!
#1 is my fave :)


:thumbsup:

[julix]

I love them sis!
#1 is my fave :)


:thumbsup:


((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) miss ya Sis...... :)

[john158]

hello

[julix]

The pain hits me once more
unexpected and unwelcome
waves crashing over my body
again and again
pain and fear
trembling together
shaking
thoughts and emotions
I can't stop
or understand
my head and heart
breaking
suffering
suffering
no end to it
untill
I make myself stop
I put it away
in a box inside myself
where there is no key
to lock it up
where it unleashes
when it wants to
where it wants to

[julix]

there is neither
time nor space where
grief ends
it continues to
be a part
of me
welcome or not
it has become
what it will
perhaps
a space to
coexist

[julix]

my daughter who is 10 just wrote this poem for me....

I see her
Whenever we bring it up,
Darkness fills the room
I dread every moment
we get
When the two halves
Of the heart
Were together,
Heaven
When two
Halves of the
Heart break
Nothing is in
Balance
My Grandfather
And Mom


this emoticon is from her!!!!!;):thumbsup:

[julix]

this is a poem written by my 10 year old daughter


I see her
Whenever we bring it up,
Darkness fills the room
I dread every moment
we get
When the two halves
Of the heart
Were together,
Heaven
When two
Halves of the
Heart break
Nothing is in
Balance
My Grandfather
And Mom

this emoticon is from her;):thumbsup:

[Limerickcot]

The pain hits me once more
unexpected and unwelcome
waves crashing over my body
again and again
pain and fear
trembling together
shaking
thoughts and emotions
I can't stop
or understand
my head and heart
breaking
suffering
suffering
no end to it
untill
I make myself stop
I put it away
in a box inside myself
where there is no key
to lock it up
where it unleashes
when it wants to
where it wants to

So well done, grasping the essence there, all right.

[julix]

So well done, grasping the essence there, all right.

thank you, I really appreciate that!