kitty
April 23rd, 2004, 01:12 AM
My friend sent me this an d I thought that I would share it. :)
The English language around the World
1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND
WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER
FOR THIS PURPOSE.
2) Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
4) Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
5) At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
6) Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
7) Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE .
8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES:
IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
10) On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
11) In a restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
(And on the menu, no doubt: "Soupe du Jour of the Day.")
12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
13) In a maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
14) In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
6) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
17) In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
18) In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
20) Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
22) Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
23) Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
25) Ski hotel, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF
ASCENSION.
26) Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
27) Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN
THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
28) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
29) A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
30) Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
31) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
32) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule):
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
What do you think? Did it make you laugh as much as I did, and have you come across any funny signs? :D
The English language around the World
1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND
WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER
FOR THIS PURPOSE.
2) Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
4) Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
5) At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
6) Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
7) Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE .
8) Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES:
IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
10) On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
11) In a restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
(And on the menu, no doubt: "Soupe du Jour of the Day.")
12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
13) In a maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
14) In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
6) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
17) In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
18) In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
20) Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
21) Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
22) Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
23) Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
24) In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
25) Ski hotel, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF
ASCENSION.
26) Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
27) Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN
THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
28) An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
29) A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
30) Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
31) Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
32) On the door of a Moscow hotel room (during Communist rule):
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
What do you think? Did it make you laugh as much as I did, and have you come across any funny signs? :D