To the TPTB at Universal PLEASE READ

[KJ]

If they are lurking and watching i hope they read this. This is an article taken from a Battlestar Galactica website called "Sheba's Galaxy" and says exactly what we all want from a new Battlestar Galactica production! in the year 2003. The 25th Anniversary of Battlestar Galactica Read and enjoy! Because it what we all really want.

Part 1 of

HOW TO RUN A TIGHT SHIP, THE 2002 MANUAL
By Matthew Wharmby

So, is it really going to happen? The great ship Galactica setting sail once again for the shining planet? I'll get straight to my own ideas as to what the new show should look like. In no particular order...

PLANNING, PLANNING, PLANNING

Get the bible down months, if not years, in advance. If Babylon 5 could have the whole five years' planned out from the start, they'd have less trouble. Babylon 5 was hard going, but it does have its following, and I was starting to enjoy one particular storyline that I thought was done rather well (the Emperor Cartagia soliciting the Shadows business - though I never saw Cliff Richard once!) In the worst case scenario, if the show was cancelled in mid-run (as Babylon 5 was!) then it could be picked up by another network without too much of a blip. Which brings me to...

NEVER MIND THE NIELSENS

I'm fed up of my favourite TV shows being cancelled by the machinations of moronic middle Americans with a box in the corner of their living rooms. Nor have I ever been impressed by having products shoved in my face every six minutes. This means syndication. It worked for Star Trek's later incarnations - the first year of Next Generation was so bad that any network would have pulled the plug by Thanksgiving, but on what is now UPN it stood a fighting chance. USA is thus a more promising choice than you'd think, despite the preponderance of T&A shows, Baywatch repeats and wrestling. I'd probably steer clear of Fox and the WB - not that kind of neighbourhood, I don't think...

TAKE UP WHERE THEY LEFT OFF

Let's treat it as a second season. Discount Galactica 1980 (you didn't need me to tell you that, come on). They've just blown that base-star to space trash, and Starbuck and Apollo have come back from the party weighed down with so much medalry that they won't be able to get their vipers off the ground. The fleet has left Alliance space behind, just about, but don't think for one moment that our tin friends the Cylons have forgotten about them. Let's have some new planets with non-humans as well as scattered clues to the direction taken by the Thirteenth Tribe, and a good smattering of hostile cultures to get through on the way. Star Trek: Voyager went about this the right way, soon realising that not only were the Kazon boring as hell, but likely to be geographically far behind by the end of the first season.

NEW CAST BUT BIG NAME GUEST STARS

It's been twenty-three years since Battlestar Galactica went off the air, and let's face it, those original cast members who haven't died are old. Even Dirk Benedict will be qualifying for his bus pass in five years. So let's have an all-new cast, physically similar to the originals but made up of the best and the brightest actors and actresses of today. They've got to be good-looking as well, I'm afraid - I really have no time for political correctness. Star Trek: The Next Generation can't have had more than half a dozen attractive female guest stars in all 179 episodes. Ugly people may be just as interesting and worthwhile (look at me!) but I don't want to look at them. I want the same philosophy that brought Lloyd Bridges in as a big name guest star continued. There are loads of luminaries about from the world of stage and screen that would do a treat on Battlestar Galactica.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE RUTHLESS

I've noticed a critical difference between US, British and Canadian sci-fi. The American shows treat their characters with kid gloves - they seem afraid to hurt them or to put them through the mill. Even Captain Picard only got one extra episode to traumatise over being assimilated. The Canadians and Brits, on the other hand, go to the opposite extreme. Who can remember watching gape-faced as the entire cast of Blake's 7 was massacred without pity in the final episode? Or the final episodes of Forever Knight and War of the Worlds? For a journey like the Galactica's, it's not going to be a luxury cruise. People are going to starve and die and get killed. There have to be disappointments to go with the elation. Pluck the viewers' heart strings. For instance, one of the bravest things that Galactica could have done, and quite possibly unique, was to kill off Serina. Those ten minutes at the end of Lost Planet of the Gods were so heartbreaking you could cry. The Yanks have the budget, we've got the plots and the Canadians have the ruthlessness. So let's mix and blend.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT 'SCIENCE FICTION'

I can't stand sci-fi geeks bitching and moaning about how Galactica doesn't measure up to accepted scientific fact. I'm going to shock a few folks when I say quite freely that space travel as we know it is boring. It's slow, monstrously expensive and largely pointless. If you want to go into space you need a daft great suit to breathe through, the ships take weeks or months to get anywhere, and Earth has the bad luck to be positioned in a neighbourhood where there's bugger-all else to see. Even the Mars landing got stale fast, especially when the lander fell over and down the hole. The Hubble telescope only works when it's facing the sun, and you can't completely discount those ugly rumours that the whole Moon landing was faked. No? Why then was the flag planted by Neil Armstrong fluttering when there's no wind?!. So we want aliens who look human and speak English, please; we want fires burning and explosions exploding in space, and there'll be no flying around, over or under threatening situations when they can be fought or outwitted. And if you don't like it, go and read some Isaac Asimov. (Incidentally, Asimov was lined up to be a consultant on the second series, if only Galactica hadn't been cancelled. I wonder how that would have panned out? Especially if the Cylons had got hold of a copy of 'I, Robot'!)

End of part 1

[KJ]

Part 2 of HOW TO RUN A TIGHT SHIP, THE 2002 MANUAL

STRONG CHARACTERS, COMMITTED ACTORS

Now that we've got our Apollo, Starbuck and Adama and are willing to work them till they drop, we want the same kind of commitment from the actors who play them. There'll be none of this leaving in mid-run because it's not good for your 'career' or because you want to go into movies. And no going to jail (Maren Jensen, as the rumour persists). Perhaps it's a good caveat that sci-fi actors never work again. Half the cast of four Star Trek series lay testament to that! Future stars of Galactica, just remember Denise 'Tasha Yar' Crosby doing very questionable movies on Cinemax late at night, poor old George Takei ekeing out a living at conventions, and the incredibly boring one that played Kes on Voyager disappearing off the face of the earth, and sign your contract with a smile. You'll be glad you did when those residuals keep rolling in, long after your teeth and prostate have gone.

FU-- CEN***SHIP

A lot of the trouble with Galactica came from increasingly absurd regulations pushed by ABC's Board of Standards and Practices, and we all know how that transformed Galactica 1980 from a workable if low-budget premise to a foetid pile of kid-friendly cack, with irritating and most unwelcome educational subplots. The time slot given to both incarnations of Galactica was no help either. Still, you can say things in 2002 on the telly that you couldn't in 1978 (Shall I run through a few? 'Pissed off', 'damn', 'for God's sake(s)', 'ass', etc), and Mary Whitehouse has been thoughtful enough to go and die in the interim, so we may be in with a chance yet. This doesn't necessarily mean kindly, grandfatherly Commander Adama turning the air blue when Iblis challenges him, but who could blush at the odd cuss-word let slip by Starbuck in the heat of battle? And as for that old chestnut of violence, perceived or otherwise, there's a war on, after all. We need something to hate. Cylons'll do. So we can have all the militaria we want. Don't like it? Well, go and take your holidays at Guantanamo.

CAREFUL WITH THE COMIC RELIEF

Television networks have the irritating habit of being incredibly patronising towards sci-fi fans. I've already said that some sci-fi can be boring, but it's out of order to keep pushing corny stuff into it. Recall how seriously people take shows of this genre. And remember how Rob Schneider completely ruined Judge Dredd? Enough said. If you want funny ha ha, watch Married... with Children.

NO KIDS OR DOGS

Sorry Boxey and Muffey, but you're going to have to sit this one out. Or at least not have so many lines. On second thought, there's going to have to be a lot more kids and dogs, if the battered remnants of humanity have any interest in producing a next generation. And it goes without saying that these kids and dogs have to be normal, ordinary kids. Sci-fi fans loathe, absolutely despise, the old cliché of the genius child. Take a bow, Dr Zee, Wesley Crusher, Anakin Skywalker. In the real world, kids fight, argue and smell, not wisecrack and save the world. I've got to admit I liked the way the writers of Star Trek addressed Wesley Crusher. Perhaps as fed up as the fans with this perfect individual, this smug, snot-nosed little bastard that you wanted to slap every minute of the day, they did a Generation X on him, quite apposite for 1993 or 1994 when it was filmed. Forget the perfect, planned career path and acres of expectations weighing over that smooth, spit-curled head - he just decided to throw it all in and go bumming around the universe with some old hippy. Excellent! (Interestingly, much of the small amount of fanfic written about Galactica 1980 does much to knock poor old Dr Zee off his pedestal. It makes much better drama to find out that your idols have feet of clay.)

SOME SAMPLE PLOTS


A cholera epidemic sweeps the fleet.
A crime ring of extortion and bribery in the fleet has to be tackled.
Drug abuse in the fleet.
Baltar is rescued, not by the Cylons but by rogue elements of the Eastern Alliance who have refused to accept the Peace of Terra (ie Commandant Leiter and his boys)
Lucifer and Spectre jockeying for command of the pursuit fleet and trying to ingratiate with Imperious Leader.
The A-B craft from Galactica 1980 going into production.
A local power undecided as to whom to throw in with - and they choose the Cylons!
More about the Nomen - they could be masters of the organised crime ring.
More battles!
A GRAND FINALE

Nothing lasts forever - even Dr Who got cancelled after 26 years. So, after ten or twelve years, let's have a spectacular finale. Again, the Canadians are good at this - but I don't think it'd go down too well to gun down the entire cast without much of a pretext! (Might work for G:80!). Years ago, when I was first getting onto the Web, I found an outstanding script called 'Battlestars' by a fellow called Mark Koeberl, and I would have this with very little adaptation.

In it, the fleet, under the leadership of Commander Tigh, has found its way to the Earth quadrant after a voyage lasting seventeen yahrens. But scans have shown that Earth is not the advanced culture they've been looking for, and they're stumped as to what to do next. Galactica 1980's premise, you think - but read on.
Trying to escape a fleetwide criminal racket based aboard the Gemini freighter, two young medtechs steal a shuttle and put down on Mars, but they discover what appear to be sarcophagi, filled with loads of humans! Meanwhile Lucifer's baseship fleet is closing in for an epic assault against the stopped Galactica. When the battle starts, both sides take heavy casualties and the Galactica is severely damaged - until Tigh is astonished to be contacted by human-flown fighting craft requesting to join battle against the Cylons! Even more astoundingly, they are of Colonial origin.

It turns out that the Thirteenth Tribe did make it to Earth, but the hardship of the journey prompted the exhausted travellers to destroy their ships upon arrival. Those that protested were driven off-world, and ended up on Mars. Unfortunately, they were then struck down by an unknown disease. Their ranks decimated, and without a clue, they voted to go into suspended animation in chambers. It is these chambers that the two med-techs have discovered. Revived from their slumber, the Thirteenth Tribe are able to board their Scorpion fighters of comparable technology with that of the Seventh Millennium and take it to the Cylons! The listing, burning Galactica is then contacted by an unfamiliar structure calling itself the cradle. It is the eye-opening sight of a battlestar tender, that approaches the Galactica and enfolds it to make repairs. From the cradle, another battlestar emerges - then a second, and a third, and a fourth! With the Cylons defeated for now, the united Colonials and Kobolians can now think about leaving Earth behind altogether and going on the offensive - in the direction of home!

RECOMMENDED WRITERS


Eric Paddon. Move heaven and earth to get him - if he won't go, bundle him into a sack and drag him there! Then give him all the budget he wants, because he's going to write so much his typing fingers will fall off!
Mark Koeberl - see above.
Lee Storm. Her Galactica 1980 stories are full of love and devotion!
Sanna Guerin. 'Caprica the Brave' is one of my favourite stories.
Lizbeth Marcs. She wrote 'Starbuck's Guilty Little Secret', which is so delightful you'll laugh out loud!
Maggie Hutchison, who wrote 'Ordeal'. This is such a superb story; it really moves you.
The other well-known fanfic writers - Adam Stacey, Fran Severn, Sharon Monroe, Robert Hanczyk, Marion Duerselen, Jeffrey Zahnen. And anyone I've left out whose stories I've enjoyed. Oh, and let me have a crack at one or two episodes, and a cameo role would do nicely - how about Aurora's next boyfriend? Mmm.


Copied and pasted by KJ

[Muffit]

Hi,

Ummm, this is not what we all want -- most want a continuation with the original cast, not faces we don't care about. I would never have watched a single TOS movie or spin-off were it not for the original cast in the movies.

Thanks for the cross-post KJ, but please remember a good many of us have been clamoring for the original cast and themes adamantly. Without them, we will not even watch...

:muffit:

[jewels]

Hi, KJ, nicely thought out article for TPTB to think about (especially like the plug for the fanfic writers at the end, they write better than most of the stuff that is on TV and know BSG, its themes and characters well.

I would also differ with the author in that I too would like to see the original core cast members back: They have not aged badly as that author implied. They would give strength to any continuation effort just in passing their skill, experience and teamwork outlook onto the next generation of actors; sadly, many of whom are more of the "pretty face" or "hot body" type and not necessarily well versed in the craft of acting. (Go back and look at old interviews with folks like Jack Stauffer or Sarah Rush: you see lots of references to how just having John Collicos or Lorne Greene on the set raised the bar for everyone's acting yet these were men who were more than willing to share their experiences).

Jewels

[KJ]

Same here i want it real bad, but we must remain realistic about it though. Seeing a Battlestar Galactica: Second Coming style revamp BG would make anyone's day but for the TPTB they saw it and didn't do diddley with what they saw and cut short Singer and DeSanto's version too. So i'm making a plea with enough support from reviewers and reviews of days past, who have had unbias opinons and will give it to them 100% without any punches pulled!

If i find anymore great examples i'll post them here too.

Here is one though

Out of these, name the best revamp, remake or reunion yet to be seen by any old fan of these sci-fi /Genre comeback attempts.

* Dr Who movie of 1996

* The Lost in Space movie of 1998

* The Avengers movie of 1998

* Mission Impossible movies of both 1996 and 2000

* Sgt Bilko of 1996

* The Three Six Million Dollar Man /Bionic Woman TV movies of 1987, 1990 and 1994

* The Invaders TV movie of 1995

* The Knight Rider 3000 TV movie of 1991

* Godzilla of 1998

* The Saint movie of 1997

* The New Professionals TV series of 1999


Now pick out the one you feel had the most potential? Add to the list if you want, but as you can see the track record is against us? i know Galactica the only exception it would be a killer series to revive, but we got dumb suits in Hollywood who know this and continue to do nothing.

KJ

[KJ]

Jewels you're the smartest person across the pond heh. Yes i have some of those cons footage of Battlestarfanclub (if thats what your addressing) and yes Richard and Jack and others from BG are smart people alright. In those convention appearances they talked about the things they must have tolded the TPTB and they still didn't listen to them? :confused: :confused: :confused:

Beats me but yes if anything those cons have shown us the most intelligent Non-Hollywood player on the face of the planet! I even have some of those BGInfosphere.com interviews like the Anna Lockhart and Larson interviews where they shared some memories of BG and how it when about.

Anyone know where to find any BG interviews like those that were on BGInfosphere?

On the acting gig thing yep damn shame, we see how TV changed and it all cute looks, he dump me 90210 style shows these days no real drama? only shows worth talking about are good one like Alias, Buffy and Angel, OZ, Sopanos (don't watch it much though) and very few others.

KJ

Damn TPTB, as Gene Hackman said to the priest in the "Poseidon Adventure" To the TPTB. YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! (about this)

[Muffit]

Jewels, you are so much better at phrasing things than me :).

KJ, hope I didn't sound too down on you, didn't mean to. The article is well done. It's just this vision I can't shake about what BSG could be. How often is there a chance to see a sci-fi legend reborn?

All the best,
:muffit:

[michaelfaries]

Rhetorical question: Before this article was copied and pasted here, were there any copyright notices on "Sheba's Galaxy"?

I can't say if John Dorsey would approve or disapprove of his content being posted in full elsewhere (and I know there's a mention of the web site preceding the copy/paste above). Just please be sure to take this into consideration when "repurposing" the web content of others. Provide a snippet of the text, plus the URL as a courtesy. As a rule, don't republish in full unless permission is given within the site.

Michael
:colwar: (To the moderators, I apologize if I've overstepped.)

[KJ]

No didn't see any, geez lighten up man, there are more important things to consider than what i copy and paste. I don't do it as a hobby i am aware of certain rules o.k. THE ARTICLE was touching, i am trying to come up with my own examples but i though this one article said it better o.k. It's alot better than hoping for some dumb prequel idea to save the misery of the past 25 years of Universal blunder with BG? Alot better!

KJ



:mad:

[Baltar]

Damn, it is a cool story though! :)

[KJ]

See? LastBattlstar got good taste, except whats with that avatar? :o ah well later people i'm off.

KJ