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April 28th, 2004, 07:49 AM
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#361
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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I generally believe some men have not a clue!
How long have you been with him?
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April 28th, 2004, 08:58 AM
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#362
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Rowan, the good news is that you could have been without a boyfriend for the last four years like I have (and the one four years ago is almost not worth mentioning as even a footnote to my life story!). Although, I don't know too many happily married people so perhaps I am better off and just feeling a little blue. I will be 32 soon and keep wondering when I will settlle down and have kids. The "You'll find someone when the time is right" line is starting to get on my last nerve!  
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 28th, 2004, 09:39 AM
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#363
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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Arhh Uno, I know what you mean. My love life has been very thin on the ground too. It was more than a drought, that I was going through. It is tough when all your friends are married with kids, it seems to make it harder to go out and meet a bloke, as your mates are too busy playing happy families.
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April 28th, 2004, 09:47 AM
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#364
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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A couple of friends told me to try eHarmony.com as it had a good reputation and wasn't full of people looking for fun without the romance, if you know what I mean. I'm not quite to that point yet, I've always had a very low opinion of online dating, but, I'm not getting any younger, either! Ah, decisions, decisions. The bottom line is that the money they ask for a membership fee is money I could put towards the renovations to my house and that is my priority right now.
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 28th, 2004, 09:55 AM
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#365
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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I do not think that I would pay to find some one. One of my friends met through the single ads in the local paper, and again, I dont fancy going down that route either. There are better ways to meet Mr Right, although they escape me. Pubs/ bars, I think are one of the worse places to meet. After seeing Muffits post of the perils of internet dating, I now sort of have that picture in my mind, of every male I chat to on line.
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April 28th, 2004, 10:00 AM
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#366
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sorrell
I generally believe some men have not a clue!
How long have you been with him?
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we have know each other for 13 years and "dated" for the last 4
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April 28th, 2004, 10:05 AM
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#367
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Originally Posted by unowhoandwhy
Rowan, the good news is that you could have been without a boyfriend for the last four years like I have (and the one four years ago is almost not worth mentioning as even a footnote to my life story!). Although, I don't know too many happily married people so perhaps I am better off and just feeling a little blue. I will be 32 soon and keep wondering when I will settlle down and have kids. The "You'll find someone when the time is right" line is starting to get on my last nerve! |
Well I don't wait for "boyfriends" for certain things I usually have a bed buddy for that part, but I just turned 40 and that window of opportunity to have children is getting very small. When I broke up with my long time boyfriend I was 28 I thought I had all the time in the world to find the right guy...  I hear you about the feeling blue part!
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April 28th, 2004, 10:05 AM
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#368
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sorrell
It is tough when all your friends are married with kids, it seems to make it harder to go out and meet a bloke, as your mates are too busy playing happy families.
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and too painful to be around....
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April 28th, 2004, 10:08 AM
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#369
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sorrell
I do not think that I would pay to find some one. One of my friends met through the single ads in the local paper, and again, I dont fancy going down that route either. There are better ways to meet Mr Right, although they escape me. Pubs/ bars, I think are one of the worse places to meet. After seeing Muffits post of the perils of internet dating, I now sort of have that picture in my mind, of every male I chat to on line.
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A close girlfriend of mine met her ex-husband over the internet, they are still very good friends, and he's a nice looking man.
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April 28th, 2004, 10:21 AM
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#370
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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  :laugh:
I forgot about that picture! Oh lord, now I can't get it out of my head, either! Where's the soap, I need to wash my brain!
Seriously, though, eHarmony is a little different. They approach things more scientifically (which is definitely my style) and you fill out this lengthy personality profile and then their computer finds people who are compatible based on this survey. As long as people are honest (and given how much a membership costs they would be very likely to waste time and effort like that) then theoretically you only deal with people who are more likely to be compatible emotionally, etc. rather than it all being based on, "I like guys with blue eyes" or something equally shallow.
Still not quite that desperate yet, though!
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 28th, 2004, 10:50 AM
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#371
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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It is not all about being emotionally compatable, you need that lust/spark as well.
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April 28th, 2004, 10:53 AM
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#372
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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I normally get one or the other. And would like to get the balance correct.
Alot of the blokes I lusted for, we had hardly anything in common, when theres the reverse, I have felt no physical attraction for.
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April 28th, 2004, 10:55 AM
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#373
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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I tend to have a similar issue Sorrell |
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April 28th, 2004, 10:57 AM
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#374
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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Were we separated at birth?
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April 28th, 2004, 10:58 AM
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#375
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rowan
I tend to have a similar issue Sorrell |
I am glad that I am not the only one with this issue.
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April 28th, 2004, 11:02 AM
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#376
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Either we are triplets separated at birth or great minds think alike! Ditto for me on the either physical or emotional but not both issue. My last guy was HOT HOT HOT! Very cultured and suave, he was from Costa Rica and had a tennis player's body (very tall and slim but well muscled). And oh, that accent! But, we had zip, zilch, zero in common. He was looking for someone to cater to his every whim like his mother and ex-wife had and that wasn't going to happen.
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 28th, 2004, 11:18 AM
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#377
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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The bloke that I am currently seeing has been my friend for the last 9 years. He has always wanted to date me, and has basically stayed single in hope. Everyone thought that we should date. He is successful, very funny, intelligent, generous etc.. In November we went to Dublin and shared a hotel room (he booked it and told me that was all they had). I got drunk, It had been 2 years since I had been near a fella and felt lonely, so the boundaries of our friendship crossed. I have been seeing him since, but I do not feel physically attracted to him, so I keep pushing him away subconsciously. On almost every other level, he is my perfect man. He is 37, and I suppose because of his crush on me, has not dated that many women, so he has not got a clue how to treat a girlfriend. I am by no means ugly, and when done up, I regularly have the opposite sex remark on my attractiveness, that is except Patrick. I do not want to be his teacher and tell him blow by blow what to do. In Paris in Febuary, I felt alone as he walked 10 paces ahead of me every where we went. As I said, he has not got a clue. I know that if another bloke comes along that I am attracted to, I would go for it. I feel that I am being fickle and mean.
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April 28th, 2004, 12:34 PM
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#378
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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ladies being a happily nearly married gal I don't know if there is any advice I can give you all that won't seem like a cliche or bad advice.
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 28th, 2004, 12:43 PM
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#379
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Muff Daggy
 | Owner: | | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900
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Love is both the most wonderful and oddest of creatures. Billions of possible mates on this Earth yet how many of us can find even one in our lifetimes that is the yin to our yang? When you find that person, you know it. You do not have to choose between lust and companionship, commonalities and qualities. You fall in like a well of sweet water so luscious you fear not to drown in it. You share not body but souls, intertwined like a masterfully woven quilt that grows throughout your lives. To be apart, even for an hour, is to feel a vital part of you is missing - and when that part returns is the only time you feel whole.
How do you find such a person? How do you keep them? Life rips our hearts from us like an emotionless lion, and leaves our dreams rotting in the African sun.
Our desperate seaarch in life is not to be wealhty, not to be successful, not to be famous. These are such empty things.
We seek only to not be alone inside. An ache only one person can salve.
-- Muffit
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April 28th, 2004, 12:46 PM
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#380
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sorrell
The bloke that I am currently seeing has been my friend for the last 9 years. He has always wanted to date me, and has basically stayed single in hope. Everyone thought that we should date. He is successful, very funny, intelligent, generous etc.. In November we went to Dublin and shared a hotel room (he booked it and told me that was all they had). I got drunk, It had been 2 years since I had been near a fella and felt lonely, so the boundaries of our friendship crossed. I have been seeing him since, but I do not feel physically attracted to him, so I keep pushing him away subconsciously. On almost every other level, he is my perfect man. He is 37, and I suppose because of his crush on me, has not dated that many women, so he has not got a clue how to treat a girlfriend. I am by no means ugly, and when done up, I regularly have the opposite sex remark on my attractiveness, that is except Patrick. I do not want to be his teacher and tell him blow by blow what to do. In Paris in Febuary, I felt alone as he walked 10 paces ahead of me every where we went. As I said, he has not got a clue. I know that if another bloke comes along that I am attracted to, I would go for it. I feel that I am being fickle and mean.
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God Sorrell I so empathize! I understand exactly what you mean with regards to them being clueless...Why do they do that my guy walks ahead too it's weird don't they want to be with us I don't get it? We need a man to explain this to us..Sounds like we have the same problem in many ways...I did that once too with a friend I'd known for years only it was after my building had been in a fire and I stayed at his apartment, felt vunerable and lonely and gave in to his advances even though I was not atracted then I was traped what do you say? sorry I slept with you it was a mistake I'm actually not atracted to you??? I am ALWAYS the TEACHER in a realtionship with a man and I HATE it I'm through with it! Tired of teaching just want to be with someone who is all ready there no more little boys!!!
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April 28th, 2004, 12:46 PM
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#381
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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I know what you are talking about Muffit. Love can be kind or cruel!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 28th, 2004, 12:55 PM
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#382
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On Vacation...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 9,330
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Muffit
Love is both the most wonderful and oddest of creatures. Billions of possible mates on this Earth yet how many of us can find even one in our lifetimes that is the yin to our yang? When you find that person, you know it. You do not have to choose between lust and companionship, commonalities and qualities. You fall in like a well of sweet water so luscious you fear not to drown in it. You share not body but souls, intertwined like a masterfully woven quilt that grows throughout your lives. To be apart, even for an hour, is to feel a vital part of you is missing - and when that part returns is the only time you feel whole.
How do you find such a person? How do you keep them? Life rips our hearts from us like an emotionless lion, and leaves our dreams rotting in the African sun.
Our desperate seaarch in life is not to be wealhty, not to be successful, not to be famous. These are such empty things.
We seek only to not be alone inside. An ache only one person can salve.
-- Muffit
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WOW! Muffit that is truly beautiful....I will hold that image in my mind
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April 28th, 2004, 01:05 PM
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#383
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rowan
God Sorrell I so empathize! I understand exactly what you mean with regards to them being clueless...Why do they do that my guy walks ahead too it's weird don't they want to be with us I don't get it? We need a man to explain this to us..Sounds like we have the same problem in many ways...I did that once too with a friend I'd known for years only it was after my building had been in a fire and I stayed at his apartment, felt vunerable and lonely and gave in to his advances even though I was not atracted then I was traped what do you say? sorry I slept with you it was a mistake I'm actually not atracted to you??? I am ALWAYS the TEACHER in a realtionship with a man and I HATE it I'm through with it! Tired of teaching just want to be with someone who is all ready there no more little boys!!! |
I would understand the need to walk ahead if I was repulsive, but I know I am not. At least, he is not the only bloke with that trait. He said that I walked too slow. I am not a slow walker, but since I broke my ankle a last year, it is painful to walk all day, so after 3 hours of walking, I slow down. You could still see remants of the bruising, when I was in Paris.
I would like a role reversal for a change. Where the man takes the lead in the relationship, and is the teacher!
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April 28th, 2004, 01:27 PM
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#384
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Middleofnowhere, NH
Posts: 2,012
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Muffit
Love is both the most wonderful and oddest of creatures. Billions of possible mates on this Earth yet how many of us can find even one in our lifetimes that is the yin to our yang? ... ... ...
We seek only to not be alone inside. An ache only one person can salve.
-- Muffit
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As always, you know just what to say, you wonderful daggit! I know that I need to find the man that is both physical and emotional completeness to me, it just gets a little frustrating waiting!
__________________
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Each smallest act of kindness reverbrates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it's passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil.
This Momentous Day, H. R. White
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April 29th, 2004, 03:22 AM
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#385
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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started getting rsvp's for the wedding already! got one yesterday and nearly fell over as the person who sent it is one of my sister's friends that she invited that I can't stand and the reason i was happy is this person isn't coming. the lady is such a busybody and has the most annoying voice on earth!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 29th, 2004, 08:22 AM
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#386
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 4,440
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Lucky for you that she can't come, but what is your sister doing inviting people to yiur wedding?
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April 29th, 2004, 12:25 PM
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#387
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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she wanted her friends to be there too! My mother just informed me that we have some more yeses and that the unwanted guest for my wedding that wasn't showing up is going to be at my bridal shower with her annoying voice and nosy self! God give me strength!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 29th, 2004, 12:33 PM
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#388
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 771
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bsg1fan1975
she wanted her friends to be there too! My mother just informed me that we have some more yeses and that the unwanted guest for my wedding that wasn't showing up is going to be at my bridal shower with her annoying voice and nosy self! God give me strength!
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Look at it this way. At least you may get a free gift from her.
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April 29th, 2004, 12:39 PM
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#389
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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her kind of gifts I do not need! I am just happy she won't be at my wedding!
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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April 29th, 2004, 12:46 PM
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#390
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Bad Email Address
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 771
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Well, just be happy of the little things. The rest will work itself out.
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