More than one Mr/Ms Right???

Charybdis · August 16th, 2004, 09:26 AM

I wanted to get your opinions on this topic. It's something that I have briefly thought about over the years.

My mode of thinking is that there are many, many people whom you could live perfectly with as husband and wife. That is to say, that there are more than one Mr. or Ms. Right for you...

My wife thinks I'm nuts and that all the stars aligned to bring us together and that for everyone there is just one person who really is Mr or Ms Right.

I say that meeting that person is mainly pure chance based on location, location, location!!!!

What do you think about this? Are you a star-crossed believe that the person you meet and fall in love with and marry is your one and only Mr or Ms Right?

Or is there still someone out there who might be better?

Dawg · August 16th, 2004, 09:47 AM

Some of us did.

I am
Dawg

shiningstar · August 16th, 2004, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

I wanted to get your opinions on this topic. It's something that I have briefly thought about over the years.

My mode of thinking is that there are many, many people whom you could live perfectly with as husband and wife. That is to say, that there are more than one Mr. or Ms. Right for you...

My wife thinks I'm nuts and that all the stars aligned to bring us together and that for everyone there is just one person who really is Mr or Ms Right.

I say that meeting that person is mainly pure chance based on location, location, location!!!!

What do you think about this? Are you a star-crossed believe that the person you meet and fall in love with and marry is your one and only Mr or Ms Right?

Or is there still someone out there who might be better?

I think your wife is a incurable romantic.

If you live your life on a couch ......MR/MRS Right will never SEE YOU.

If you WANT to MEET someone ......YOU'VE got to put yourself out there.

I never would have met my husband if I had my head in the sand.

And as for the possibility there might be another MR/MRS right out there......
ANYTHING is Possible. ..............If there were ONLY one love out there
for each and every person .........then what about all the widowers and
widows out there who find someone to love after the 'love of their life'
has passed on?

Rowan · August 16th, 2004, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warrior

Certainly there are many other people you could live with the rest of your life perfectly happy.

But there *is* only one soul mate, of which 99.9 of us never find!

I would second this perspective.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

I say that meeting that person is mainly pure chance based on location, location, location!!!!

location plays a big part in being able to find each other, but to facilitate compatibility similar upbringings/background/religion/social status etc all play a factor as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

What do you think about this? Are you a star-crossed believe that the person you meet and fall in love with and marry is your one and only Mr or Ms Right?

I've fallen in love with several men although never married any of them while with them I knew that I probably could marry them and be relatively happy for the rest of my life but I was and still foolishly am looking for that .1 % person Warrior mentions above.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

Or is there still someone out there who might be better?

Unfortunately this is always my conclusion the relationship is great but deep inside of me I feel there is always something missing between us.

Darth Marley · August 16th, 2004, 10:39 AM

There is certainly more than one "Ms. Right Now!"

I think it was the old Masters & Johnson survey that indicated that we are sexually compatible with roughly one third of the population.

I do not believe in the "soulmate" notion.

Attraction depends on a few factors, commitment requires only a decision, a will to commit.

julix · August 16th, 2004, 12:27 PM

When I was younger...and Naive(I feel) I had lots of romantic ideals. Life and experiences tend to show you(or it did me) realism. I married my first love from high school and I thought we were "meant ' to be together. I thought all you need was love. After having our son he totally checked out and it ended in divorce......I was okay with that because he never related,cared, or really loved our son and I lost all respect for him. A couple years later I decided to date to have fun since I never really did that as a teenager and I met my current husband...never thought I would get married again. I now believe there are people out there that we can love and can love us. I tend to not think of the term soul mate as much it is can be sort of a romantic notion(not to take away anything qway from those that believe they are with their soul mates) that is ...sometimes I think it makes people think the relationship they are in is not good enough(and some aren't)reaching for a "hollywood" ideal that is unattainable...where everything has to line up and not be difficult as often as it can be. It is hard to express myself in writing......but I learned that love is not as easy as I thought watching all the shows I did growing up it is very complex

bsg1fan1975 · August 16th, 2004, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawg

Some of us did.

I am
Dawg

Amen to that! I am proof!

amberstar · August 16th, 2004, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warrior

Certainly there is many other people you could live with the rest of your life perfectly happy.

But there *is* only one soul mate, of which 99.9 of us never find!

I agree with warrior on this one

Archangel · August 16th, 2004, 06:47 PM

That does bring up a thought (uh-oh

) Suppose you met someone else while you were dating someone else and weren't really paying attention or just choose to ignore it. Just a chance meeting with a stranger on a parking lot who you probably won't see again. Eyes meet, sparks fly, mutual blushing, etc.

And you find out later that the person you were dating in the first place was NOT the type of person you were looking for.

How the hell could you know???

Does this really make any sense?

It would be a first

Charybdis · August 17th, 2004, 06:41 AM

That's what I mean by this!! How do you really know that the person you are with is that perfect person?

My wife is as close to what I wanted in a spouse. BUT, there are a couple of things that I would like to change about her if I could!!! What does that mean? Is she my "soul mate or not?"

Is there someone else out there that would match with me even better than my wife does?

My original theory says that yes, there are other women out there that would be better suited for me than my wife. I know it sounds kind of harsh, but it does work both ways too. I know I"m not my wife's perfect mate either.

julix · August 17th, 2004, 06:47 AM

You have to think about what qualities and values are the most important to you.....does your wife have these? Think especially of the things that matter most to you.....For instance two of mine for me are....committment and integrity.

Charybdis · August 17th, 2004, 07:02 AM

I think you're right, julix. I don't think anybody is ever going to be "perfect." So, you try and find the person who fits the best with the things you need the most in your life.

Thank goodness, my wife is as close to perfect as I can get probably.

julix · August 17th, 2004, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

I think you're right, julix. I don't think anybody is ever going to be "perfect." So, you try and find the person who fits the best with the things you need the most in your life.

Thank goodness, my wife is as close to perfect as I can get probably.

Thanks Char....With advanced(

) age sometimes comes some wisdom....I have the scars to prove it!....(and some wrinkles too!!!!!!

)

shiningstar · August 17th, 2004, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

I think you're right, julix. I don't think anybody is ever going to be "perfect." So, you try and find the person who fits the best with the things you need the most in your life.

Thank goodness, my wife is as close to perfect as I can get probably.

Good point charybdis! My mother was furious that I waited so long
to get married .....but what I was looking for in a man .....was someone
who loved me as I loved him ........IS he PERFECT? No .....I don't think
I would have married him if he was .....I wanted an equal not a GOD.

bsg1fan1975 · August 17th, 2004, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warrior

Certainly there is many other people you could live with the rest of your life perfectly happy.

But there *is* only one soul mate, of which 99.9 of us never find!

Guess that means I must have found mine!

braxiss · August 20th, 2004, 08:56 AM

i don't beleive that there is only one person out there for everyone. my belief is that a relationship is based on many things and that is you and your spouse are willing to work together, that youu can and will build a strong and lasting relationship. but if only one person is working at it, it won't work. you have to have common goals and ideals as well as your seperate interests to keep things in check.

i look back now at the girl that back in the the day i just knew was my soul mate and i thank god that we never got married because when i met my wife i truely found the one person i wanted to be with, and after all the ups and all the downs, i know that we can workout any problem and we have the best relationship i could ever hope to have.

Charybdis · August 20th, 2004, 09:54 AM

That says it all, braxiss!!! Good going...I feel as you do...

shiningstar · August 22nd, 2004, 05:47 PM

I agree with you Braxiss!

well said!

August 22nd, 2004, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charybdis

My mode of thinking is that there are many, many people whom you could live perfectly with as husband and wife. That is to say, that there are more than one Mr. or Ms. Right for you...

My wife thinks I'm nuts and that all the stars aligned to bring us together and that for everyone there is just one person who really is Mr or Ms Right.

I say that meeting that person is mainly pure chance based on location, location, location!!!!

What do you think about this? Are you a star-crossed believer that the person you meet and fall in love with and marry is your one and only Mr or Ms Right?

Or is there still someone out there who might be better?

Um, I used to believe the same as you do. Just seemed logical, and I like being logical. But then it occurred to me that if I said so right out loud--say, to my wife--then I am saying that there might, in theory, be somebody out there better for me than she is. Which is even worse than saying, "Yes, dear, those pants DO make you look too fat." Very dangerous. Look at it from her point of view.

Some things have changed for me over the years, and now, after 28 of them married to the same person, I have actually come around to the view that somebody actually did fashion us and place the two of us together for a specific purpose. And since I believe in God and often tell people that I don't believe in coincidence, what is so unreasonable about that? So, yes, I guess for me at least there is definitely a Mrs. Right, and I got her. And she feels the same way in reverse. Come to think of it, I'm kinda glad I'm not married to somebody who is always looking over my shoulder, wondering whether she could have done just a little bit better with somebody else. Works both ways, I suppose.