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Old August 14th, 2004, 11:17 PM   #1
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Default Love, or whatever it is, stinks.

A guy who comes into the store frequently, asks me for my number and promptly doesn't use it.

A friend, who has made some indications that he would like to be more, phones as I'm leaving for work, and promises to ring back at a predetermined time....but doesn't.

The guy shows up again, having done so with the intent purpose of making an 'apointment' to phone me the "middle of the day" the next day. At 7:30 pm, I declare the middle of the day over, and phone my friend to ask why he hadn't rung back.

After a 3 hour conversation with the friend, I now have a boyfriend.

A day later, he is telling me he loves me and wants us to be together forever, and we have had maybe seven conversations in the course of a year, and are planning our first 'date' for Tuesday.

At this point, even having been "stood up" by him twice, the guy (who's name I don't know) stands a better chance with me than the friend, and will most likely not try for a third time.

Why does this have to be so damned complicated?
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Old August 14th, 2004, 11:20 PM   #2
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((((((((((((((((((((Flamingo Girl))))))))))))))))))))

And they say /girls/ are complicated!!!
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Old August 14th, 2004, 11:45 PM   #3
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Ahem, just to clear up a misunderstanding and speaking from a guy's POV

Girls ARE complicated.
There are guys who are just stupid
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Old August 15th, 2004, 12:23 AM   #4
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(((((((((((((((flamingo girl))))))))))))))))))

Fools I say they are the fools!
who could ever mistreat our Flamingo Girl I'll fix 'em for ya!
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Old August 16th, 2004, 03:42 AM   #5
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no offense to my male buddies here!



Some guys are just plain idiots that need a swift kick in the rear. I went through three ex's until someone finally got it right with me and I am glad he was a keeper! Don't give up, Flamingo! Mr. Right is out there yet!
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Old August 16th, 2004, 04:13 AM   #6
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(((((((FG))))))))

I don't think that there is an easy answer to describe men.
*I've had my fair share of Mr. Wrongs* and I still can't figure them out!

The guy that stood you up is a complete idiot, you deserve much better than that!

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Old August 16th, 2004, 09:02 AM   #7
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Charybdis' love advice:

The Golden Rule: Once someone does something to you that you do not like or causes you to break up with them, RUN THE OTHER WAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!

(of course, this advice is for those in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, not those who are already married)...
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Old August 16th, 2004, 09:12 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charybdis
Charybdis' love advice:

The Golden Rule: Once someone does something to you that you do not like or causes you to break up with them, RUN THE OTHER WAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!
That just about explains why I'm still not married
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Old August 16th, 2004, 10:01 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo Girl
A guy who comes into the store frequently, asks me for my number and promptly doesn't use it.

A friend, who has made some indications that he would like to be more, phones as I'm leaving for work, and promises to ring back at a predetermined time....but doesn't.

The guy shows up again, having done so with the intent purpose of making an 'apointment' to phone me the "middle of the day" the next day. At 7:30 pm, I declare the middle of the day over, and phone my friend to ask why he hadn't rung back.

After a 3 hour conversation with the friend, I now have a boyfriend.

A day later, he is telling me he loves me and wants us to be together forever, and we have had maybe seven conversations in the course of a year, and are planning our first 'date' for Tuesday.

At this point, even having been "stood up" by him twice, the guy (who's name I don't know) stands a better chance with me than the friend, and will most likely not try for a third time.

Why does this have to be so damned complicated?
((((((((((((((((((((FLAMINGOGIRL))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's not that complicated ......I'm not trying to be harsh here .......
but if he has said he'd call you and then doesn't ......or if he's standing
you UP ........DUMP HIM.

You deserve better. If he cared for you he'd treat you with respect
instead of not calling you when he said he would and standing you
up on dates.

I 'had' boyfriends like that .........that's they're my EX Boyfriends...........
and that's why I told them that I'd wait for someone who respected me
and cared for me the way I cared for them.

Just hang in there. Reaching out for love is fraught with risks ........but
when you do find love you'll find that the risks are worth it
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Old August 16th, 2004, 10:02 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charybdis
Charybdis' love advice:

The Golden Rule: Once someone does something to you that you do not like or causes you to break up with them, RUN THE OTHER WAY AND NEVER COME BACK!!!!!!!

(of course, this advice is for those in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage, not those who are already married)...
Good advice Charybdis ......that's advice that I lived by
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Old August 16th, 2004, 12:34 PM   #11
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Same here! in the whole 1 1/2 yrs. I dated my hubby before we got hitched he never stood me up once.


Flamingo, I wish that I had the right advice for you but all I can say is that there is someone out there looking for a sweet person like yourself! Hang in there!
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Old August 17th, 2004, 06:27 AM   #12
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I learned the hard way too.. back in college I dated a girl very seriously for around 2 1/2 years. I mean we were head over heels in love and were hardly separated during all this time. I thought we would be married shortly after college ended.

Well, she graduated one semester before I did and had to move to a large city 200 miles away with the company she got a job with.

Wouldn't you know it, but several months afterwards (I'm talking about 5 months), all of a sudden she wanted to "cool" off our relationship because I was dragging her down on the weekends when I went to visit her!!!! It appears that she found her new "freedom" exhilarating and didn't want me around anymore...talk about a bummer! Talk about a waste of 2 years...

We fought it out for several months and finally, somehow, we got back together for another year. She even moved back to our original college city with me while I was in graduate school to show her "loyalty" to me....

To make a long story short though, it lasted about a year after that and then went to pot again. We drifted too much apart and by that time, even I realized I had made a big mistake in getting back together with her again. I should have been having more fun and looking for another girl, etc. during all that time!

AGain, when someone disses you and puts you out, run the other way and don't look back!
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Old August 17th, 2004, 08:48 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charybdis
I learned the hard way too.. back in college I dated a girl very seriously for around 2 1/2 years. I mean we were head over heels in love and were hardly separated during all this time. I thought we would be married shortly after college ended.

Well, she graduated one semester before I did and had to move to a large city 200 miles away with the company she got a job with.

Wouldn't you know it, but several months afterwards (I'm talking about 5 months), all of a sudden she wanted to "cool" off our relationship because I was dragging her down on the weekends when I went to visit her!!!! It appears that she found her new "freedom" exhilarating and didn't want me around anymore...talk about a bummer! Talk about a waste of 2 years...

We fought it out for several months and finally, somehow, we got back together for another year. She even moved back to our original college city with me while I was in graduate school to show her "loyalty" to me....

To make a long story short though, it lasted about a year after that and then went to pot again. We drifted too much apart and by that time, even I realized I had made a big mistake in getting back together with her again. I should have been having more fun and looking for another girl, etc. during all that time!

AGain, when someone disses you and puts you out, run the other way and don't look back!
Yep I've had relationships like that too ...........It especially hurt when they
told me how much they loved me .........and then dumped me because I
didn't want to sleep with them until I was ready to. It was a long time
before I was able to learn the difference between someone who simply
thought of me as a conquest as compared to someone who was truelly
attracted to me and wanted to know the real me first
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Old August 17th, 2004, 12:41 PM   #14
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amen to that!
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Old August 17th, 2004, 06:41 PM   #15
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Well, I talked to the friend, and he promised to slow it down. He came over today and we watched movies together. I have never felt so uncomfortable with someone I was so comfortable with. He did a lot of shifting too, so I don't think he was as comfortable as he was pretending to be.
I don't think this is going to work for me beyond the friendship stage.
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Old August 17th, 2004, 07:09 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo Girl
Well, I talked to the friend, and he promised to slow it down. He came over today and we watched movies together. I have never felt so uncomfortable with someone I was so comfortable with. He did a lot of shifting too, so I don't think he was as comfortable as he was pretending to be.
I don't think this is going to work for me beyond the friendship stage.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FLAMINGOGIRL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'll keep you in my prayers
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Old August 17th, 2004, 08:38 PM   #17
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FG, it ain't easy. I don't think it was meant to be easy.

Be a friend. If it's meant to be anything more, it'll happen.

Mrs. Dawg and I started as friends - and she is still my best friend.



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Old August 17th, 2004, 08:50 PM   #18
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(((((((((((((((Flamingo Girl)))))))))))))))
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Old August 17th, 2004, 09:42 PM   #19
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I hope things work out.
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Old August 18th, 2004, 04:07 AM   #20
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Dawg, that is so true. That's how Kev and I started out too. Now look at us! Two of a kind working on a full house!
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Old August 18th, 2004, 09:36 PM   #21
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Yeah, I just can't see him as anything more than a friend.
I can't help feeling that he is having an over-reaction to a level of kindness he's not used to getting.
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Old August 19th, 2004, 03:28 AM   #22
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Just take it slow and things will reveal themselves in due time!
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