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July 4th, 2004, 06:26 PM
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#1
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Squadron Leader
| Veteran | | Fleets Warrior |
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,238
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Points To Ponder
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes
that something new to eat will have materialized?
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always
move the wrong way?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner reach down, pick it up, examine it then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you
first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If
not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying
your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all
right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?
What is the point of brick wallpaper?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person
wondering what the heck happened?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they
just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
If an optimist fell from a ten story building would he yell out to
his friends 'All right so far' as he passed each floor?
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how
well you bounce.
__________________
"Everyone's entitled to a little confusion in their lives.
I practicly thrive on it."
"Dirk's always wanted to make love with himself, and now he could succeed!!!"
RH
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July 4th, 2004, 06:44 PM
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#2
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Muff Daggy
| Owner: | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Beaver Hollow, TN
Posts: 3,900
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LOL FG!! Those were great! I like the dryer one especially!!
Oh, here's one more...
Why do you always find things in the last place you look?
(Don't laugh, someone actually argued with me over that one... )
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July 4th, 2004, 07:53 PM
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#3
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Snowball, My Angel Baby
| Admin | | Colonial Fleets |
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere across the heavens... aka Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 9,184
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Those were good!!
I was kinda partial to the "vacuum cleaner".
__________________
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore .
Children are a message that we send
to a time that we will never see.
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July 5th, 2004, 08:37 PM
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#4
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Strike Leader
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579
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I liked those FG! The dead bugs in the light fixtures always puzzled me!
LOL
__________________
" KEEPING THE FAITH"
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July 5th, 2004, 09:11 PM
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#5
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Major
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Utah
Posts: 5,693
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beutiful, i can't tell you how many times the vacuum one has been true for me
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July 6th, 2004, 03:01 AM
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#6
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Major
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Cheesehead in Connecticut
Posts: 6,689
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these all are so true! A few of them have happened to me. Shopping carts never hit my ankle its usually my back or caboose that get hit by small kids "helping" their parents and the adults never make their kids say sorry. A few have even laughed right along with the kids. I have to resist the urge to pop the parents and the kids one.
__________________
Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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