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Old May 24th, 2005, 02:51 PM   #1
kingfish
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Unhappy It was fun

I will be taking a brief period of time away from the sites. I might check on my bb at times . However other things call for my attention. I don't do this by choice but I must.
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Old May 24th, 2005, 02:54 PM   #2
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Paul, hang in there and let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

May you be renewed in strength and your health (and back) restored.
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Old May 24th, 2005, 04:35 PM   #3
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Paul, hate to see you go but please stop by once in a while.

Hate to loose touch with one of the family.

Take care and god bless.

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Old May 24th, 2005, 04:59 PM   #4
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Let us know how things progress, Paul - good luck, and remember that we're all behind you.

Don't be a complete stranger, OK?



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Old May 24th, 2005, 06:11 PM   #5
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Take care paul and do what you must............I hope the time away is helpful to you
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Old May 24th, 2005, 06:41 PM   #6
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I truly will miss you Paul, please check in from time to time.

I hope everything in your life will work out for the best.
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Old May 24th, 2005, 07:20 PM   #7
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Paul,

My best regards to you and I echo the sentiments of those who posted before me -- if there's any way that we can help, please let us know.

We're in your corner, buddy.



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Old May 24th, 2005, 09:44 PM   #8
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Please don't be gone any longer than you have to be.
All the best,
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Old May 25th, 2005, 06:02 AM   #9
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Come back ASAP KF we will miss you
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Old May 25th, 2005, 08:13 AM   #10
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best of luck Kingfish, I hope all your difficults workout quickly
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Old June 17th, 2005, 03:10 PM   #11
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Thanks for all of the kind responses. I have been to hell and back. I am suffering from mass depression and anxiety disorder.
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Old June 17th, 2005, 08:13 PM   #12
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kingfish,
I'm sorry things are not so well. I added a post over at Tibbetts board. I'll ensure when you come back, your account there will still be there, no matter how long it takes. Just you come back....ya hear?

regards,
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Old June 18th, 2005, 05:16 AM   #13
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KF
Kick butt and take names, then come back soon
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Old June 18th, 2005, 05:21 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfish
Thanks for all of the kind responses. I have been to hell and back. I am suffering from mass depression and anxiety disorder.

Paul........


do what ever it takes to overcome this.......seek help and try everything! this is a crippling problem many have tha robb life and happiness from you and those around you.........I will pray for you paul and hope.......there is always hope.....don't give up.
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Old June 18th, 2005, 02:41 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfish
Thanks for all of the kind responses. I have been to hell and back. I am suffering from mass depression and anxiety disorder.
Kingfish,

Take care man. I know what you are going thru, I too suffer from mass depression and high anxiety disorder. Sometimes there will be the urge to do 'something', because you see no way out. Try not to give into that 'urge'.

I have come close to giving in to those 'urges' of suicide. It took close friends, time to think, and many times a tv show/book or something else to bring me back from that fearful edge.

It will never go away, that depression and anxiety, you just have to find something, anything(except drugs) to bring you back. To give you hope to live on that extra minute, hour, day, week, or month(however long it may take) until the feeling of depression and anxiety leaves you and you can operate normally. For me, it was as I said, friends, time, a story to which I can escape, and now a nephew(6 Months Old) that I wish to live for and see grown into a man. Maybe, even have some of my own.

I hope you have found yours my friend, and I hope you can continue to find it for many years to come.


With Utmost Respect,

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Old June 18th, 2005, 03:23 PM   #16
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Kingfish I don't have such difficults myself and can only understand slightly through your and Dragonlords words what your going through. just want to say we are here for you and when time get tough post a message and have a chat .
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Old June 19th, 2005, 02:22 PM   #17
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Thanks for the encouragement. It is like an uphill battle, one I must win. As far as suicide, I am afraid to die.
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Old June 19th, 2005, 02:41 PM   #18
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Great to hear that Kingfish. yet I hope you have that something that Dragon Lord suggests to get you over those tough times. ping pong may help but you need two people, Kicking butt as Stevew suggest is also a multi player sport???
I will have to get back to you with a less painfull hobby because ping pong is such a pain.. I would go for the butt kicking
for now
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Old June 19th, 2005, 03:53 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kingfish
Thanks for the encouragement. It is like an uphill battle, one I must win. As far as suicide, I am afraid to die.
Unfortunately, i'm not. For me, it would be a release an escape from life. But now that I have my nephew, that urge seems to be reduced.

And you're right, it is an uphill battle. You feel like everything is pressing down upon you and you have no way out. The only options(for me anyway) are to climb out, digging and scratching the entire way. Or, go the death route.

I'm glad that you are afraid of that route and never contemplate it my friend.



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Old June 30th, 2005, 04:56 PM   #20
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Well thanks to the lords of kobol I am feeling much better. The medication that they gave me seems to be doing the job for now.
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Old July 1st, 2005, 05:06 AM   #21
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Great to hear you are feeling better KF
S
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Old July 1st, 2005, 06:40 AM   #22
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that is great Paul
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Old July 1st, 2005, 08:54 AM   #23
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LAT & Paul,
Hang in there, those dark places will only make the dawn that much brighter, really. I've had my struggles with depression, mostly seasonal type and it is worth it to claw your way back.

This is a song I heard a few years ago by a Christian singer/songwriter that I thought was pretty profound (especially because it was actually recorded on a mainstream Christian album and those record companies haven't always let artists show that they are this human.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by song by Michael Card & Phil Naish
The Edge
Most of us will never know
How dark this world can seem
When life becomes more nightmare than a dream
So to all of you who have survived
A visit to the edge
I trust that you will understand this pledge

(chorus) : I promise I will always leave
The darkness for the light
I swear by all that's holy
I will not give up the fight
I'll drink down death like water
Before I ever come again
To that dark place
Where I might make
the choice for life to end

I've found that as I've traveled
Through the inscape of my life
That mountain tops make valleys in between
And when that nameless sadness
Like a cloud comes over me
I look back on all the brightness I have seen

(chorus repeats)

bridge: And realize that though my world
Might seem so torn apart
Most often it is joy that breaks the heart
and that I am the richest man
Though I must beg for bread
For the very one who might condemn
Has called me friend instead

(chorus repeats)

I will always leave the darkness for the light
I will not give up the fight
I hope there is some encouragement, somehow in that.
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Old July 2nd, 2005, 11:01 AM   #24
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Paul: Glad you're feeling better man. I hope that you feel that way for a long time.


Jewels: Thanks for that. But, sometimes, when you are in that 'dark place', the light seem so damn far away as to be unreachable. Last night, I felt it again. And today, I feel it still lurking, waiting to hit me again. As long as I'm doing something, it stays away, but, whenever I stop and just think for a bit, my thoughts turn to it again.

That is one reason why I left CA(for a little while, hopefully). The cynicism I kept reading didn't seem to help. Even here at Colonial Fleets, there are places I try not to go, and certain peoples posts I try not to read. For the past few months, my depression has been on a hair trigger. I read something and BAM! I'm in the "dark place". I try not to be. I hate being there. But, it's where I go.

That's why I can't wait for some of my favorite shows to once again air. SG-1/SGA, TNS-Galactica. They help me escape from the thoughts that will take me to that 'dark place'.

Once again, thanks Jewels. It's great to know that there is someone that knows what I am going thru.


Take care,


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Old July 2nd, 2005, 03:02 PM   #25
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I don't know if this will help but these Star Trek fanfilms they are good concidering they are fans themselves

http://homepage.mac.com/starshipexeter/

http://www.newvoyages.com/

If you know them already then there no good, if not enjoy I do.
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Old July 5th, 2005, 03:59 AM   #26
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This is great news!!!!! Glad you're feeling better Paul
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