14th Colony's House of Enlightenment & Wise-Assners

[bsg1fan1975]

Yes, please do forgive the child! He does not know that it is not wise to upset the all knowing 14th!

[Stray Viper]

By the Lords of Kobol, what have I done? I have invoked the wrath of 14th! Forgive me!

[shiningstar]

Originally Posted by Stray Viper

By the Lords of Kobol, what have I done? I have invoked the wrath of 14th! Forgive me!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{STRAYVIPER}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

14th colony will forgive ........for to forgive is ............
DIVINE

[Rowan]

I bow before you my master of wisdom and all knowledge and plead that you hear this humble servants pathetic and unworthy question.

I wish to know why it is that every time I go to watch an episode of a particular show, a show I seldom if ever watch I always wind up seeing the only show I've ever seen before. This has me vastly puzzled and I desperately seek enlightenment.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by bsg1fan1975

Hey Great Wise Guy!

I got one that is so puzzling me.

Why is it a guy will suddenly remember to tell you he is low on stamps when he has used the last one instead of letting you know before he runs out? my hubby does this all the time and I really, really, really want a clue to this one.

Ancient Trylanian proverb say, when man claims to want more stamps to lick, he has something else in mind. Next time man say stamps are his desire, dim the lights, turn on slow music, slip on sheer lace, and pour the wine. Your night is about to become more interesting.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Muffit

Oh great and wonderful Oz -- I mean 14th - I have a query which has been perplexing me for eons...


Why, oh why do scientists insist that digging deeper logically means going back in time? Lest we forget, all those hundreds of feet of "layers" must have come from SOMEWHERE - so why aren't there huge holes all over the Earth where this dirt magically sprouted from???

Sure, volcanoes might account for a few tiny spots, but /no/ volcanoes erupted all over the whole Earth in the last 5,000 years. So WHERE did all the dirt come from? Huh??? Please tell me, please!!! I don't see any dirt shooting out of the ground covering our streets and valleys!!!

I'm SO confused!!! <img src=http://thomas7g.com/battlestar-galactica/smilies/colonial-laugh.gif>

Do you remember Charlie Brown's friend Pigpen, the little boy who attracted and generated dirt wherever he went, the boy who could leave his house freshly bathed and dressed, and within 3 cartoon frames be completely dirty again? He was the last of a once prosperous race of manlike dirt bearers, who walked the earth in great numbers until as recently as a few thousand years ago. They became travellers, wanderers who walked to and from about the world seeing all that they could see, and leaving the dust of their beings in their wake, and shaking off the dirt of their bodies in the towns that they passed through. In time, so much dirt had been shaken off by the whole of their race to the point that there was none of their dirt encrusted bodies left and the towsn of which they left behind them were buried by the layers of dust they had shaken off. Then there were nothing of their race to show for all had been shaken off, and the ancient towns were buried in the history of the dirtbearers. Alas if only the dirtbearer race had known of soap and water, so many of those ancient towns of antiquity would still be fruitful and polulated today.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Stray Viper

It came from all the political elections over the years.

Either that or from the tabloids.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by shiningstar

Oh wise one please forgive Strayviper as strayviper knows not what this thread entails

Yes, please do forgive the child! He does not know that it is not wise to upset the all knowing 14th!

Stray gets a free pass. He's my dog from the olden days, you know. We met when we were both virgins, from a certain point of view.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Rowan

I bow before you my master of wisdom and all knowledge and plead that you hear this humble servants pathetic and unworthy question.

I wish to know why it is that every time I go to watch an episode of a particular show, a show I seldom if ever watch I always wind up seeing the only show I've ever seen before. This has me vastly puzzled and I desperately seek enlightenment.

You silly girl, you videotaped that one episode, and all you keep doing is pressing Play instead of changing the channel! Stop watching the same tape over and over!

[Archangel]

Oh Great One

This humble one wishes to know why Bologna is pronounced baloney rather than bologna. It is a mystery that has puzzled me since the dawn of time.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Archangel

Oh Great One

It is a mystery that has puzzled me since the dawn of time.

I didn't realize you were that old.

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by julix

Wise one........
How does one feel better about one's self??????

For that you must refer to Rule #4, listed on the first page of this thread.

[Archangel]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

I didn't realize you were that old.

Niether did I :laugh: , but that didn't answer the question

[The 14th Colony]

Niether did I , but that didn't answer the question

I could refer you to Rule #3, you know.
But okay, since you have come to me, to me you have come. And since that is so, it explains why it is. Right. Okay, on to your question:

Originally Posted by Archangel

Oh Great One

This humble one wishes to know why Bologna is pronounced baloney rather than bologna.

I can tell you that not only is baloney an Italian sausage but also a city in Italy where the sausage mixture originated, as well as a children's sci-fi book character named Henry P. Baloney. I can also tell you that the Brits spell baloney as "boloney". But most importantly I can tell you that the answer you seek has a similar reasoning to the following statement:

"New Yawkas don’t have an axent, da rest of da country does."

In Italy, the city of Bologna and the sandwich meat bologna are neither pronounced "baloney", but both as "bolonia" since the "g" is basically silent. It is only in America, where everyone else but us talks funny, that it somehow became distorted to sound like "baloney", probably after some lackey dropped off the "a" when spelling out the intended pronunciation "bolonia" and some other lackeys determined that the "i" implied an "ie" sound.

Ironically enough, there is a program in Europe called the Bologna Process which seeks to raise the bar of higher education in European universities. Me thinks they should start their process over here by teaching the Ammerykins the proper pronunciation of "bologna".

[Archangel]

Thank you, Oh wise one

For this I give you a blessing of my people:

May your nose be the one that smells and your feet be the ones that run, for the other way around would defy description.

[The 14th Colony]

What a helpful blessing that is, for time and again it has been the other way around for me.

[shiningstar]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

What a helpful blessing that is, for time and again it has been the other way around for me.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((14th colony))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Archangel]

One more question, oh wise one

I was defrosting the freezer in my fridge (old fridge, don't ask) which was exceedingly frozen. I had some meat that was in there and even though it was covered in snow and ice, it was thawed.

How is this possible, Oh great Deliverer of Knowledge???

[Stray Viper]

Dear Wise Guy,

If Pasteur proved that life can only come from pre-existing life (spontaneous generation disproved) then why is there a theory of evolution that states life formed from non-living matter?

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Stray Viper

Dear Wise Guy,

If Pasteur proved that life can only come from pre-existing life (spontaneous generation disproved) then why is there a theory of evolution that states life formed from non-living matter?

What an insanely dim question! Any elementary age child can easily understand the answer to that! Um..............

Wait, what the hell is that over there? **14th points past Stray's shoulder, and when SV turns around to look, 14th quietly slips out the secret doorway in the nearest wall.**

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Archangel

One more question, oh wise one

I was defrosting the freezer in my fridge (old fridge, don't ask) which was exceedingly frozen. I had some meat that was in there and even though it was covered in snow and ice, it was thawed.

How is this possible, Oh great Deliverer of Knowledge???

Who cares? Look at my avatar!!! Isn't that the sexiest droidette you've ever seen? She's no refridgerator my boy, she'll melt your ice and put steam in your slacks!

[Archangel]

Rule 3 again?

[The 14th Colony]

Rule #3 is like the 5th Ammendment. I love Rule #3. I don't get to use it often enough, though.

[shiningstar]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

Who cares? Look at my avatar!!! Isn't that the sexiest droidette you've ever seen? She's no refridgerator my boy, she'll melt your ice and put steam in your slacks!

If you SAY so

[Archangel]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

Who cares? Look at my avatar!!! Isn't that the sexiest droidette you've ever seen? She's no refridgerator my boy, she'll melt your ice and put steam in your slacks!

:laugh: I like mine a little less metallic!

[shiningstar]

Originally Posted by Archangel

I like mine a little less metallic!

[The 14th Colony]

Originally Posted by Archangel

I like mine a little less metallic!

Your preference is the inflatable kind, then?

[Archangel]

Let's see

Low maintainance

Never argue

doesn't throw things

There are a few pros but they do not outweigh the cons

[The 14th Colony]

The inflatables may be low maintainance from a cosmetic standpoint, but it still takes a lot of huffing and puffing before they're ready to go.

[Rowan]

Originally Posted by The 14th Colony

it still takes a lot of huffing and puffing before they're ready to go.

Isn't that the case with a real woman?