10 Annoying Habits of a Geeky Spouse ;-)

[StarshipTrooper]

10 Annoying Habits of a Geeky Spouse ;-)

By Matt Blum March 13, 2009 | 7:30:00 AM Categories: Family, humor

Everyone has annoying habits, and a sizable part of every successful marriage is learning to live with those things each other does that annoy you. I think it's safe to say, too, that geeks have some habits that we think are awesome, but that non-geeks find a little...less awesome.

Now my wife is a geek, but she's not as much of a geek as I am, so I asked her for some help putting together a list of ten things geeks do that annoy their spouses. She was perhaps a little too enthusiastic about helping out, but here are the results:

1. Punning - I remember when I was young, and thought that I must be the only geek (well, possibly nerd at that point) who loved to pun. Then I went to my first science fiction convention, and quickly learned that not only was I wrong, but that there were plenty of far worse offenders than I. That gave me something to aspire to, of course, which I did for a while. Since college, I've scaled back on the relentless punning I used to practice, but I'm sure I'll never quit completely.

2. Using "frak," or Klingon, or both, instead of regular swear words - Yes, this is a marvelous way to avoid accidentally using real, English swear words in front of the kids. I suspect that's one of the reasons it can be annoying to others, though: it's like a loophole in the no-swearing-in-front-of-the-kids rule. I caught my wife using "frak" the other day, now that she's gotten into Battlestar Galactica, too (yes, just as it's about to end), but she claims to have done that just to make me smile and says it still annoys her when I do it. Still, I figure she'd be more annoyed by my using real swear words, so I think I'll stick with it.

3. Weird or over-the-top ways of celebrating mainstream holidays - Geeks rarely do anything by halves, as anyone who's ever been to a costume contest at a major sci-fi convention can attest. So if we want to celebrate something we're likely to go all-out. This can mean going to great lengths with Halloween decorations, or, as I've done several times, making tentative plans to serve rabbit for Easter dinner and venison for Christmas dinner (yes, I know, reindeer are caribou, but it's close enough). No, I've never carried through on these threats plans, but when the kids are old enough not to be upset by the joke I might just. I do insist on playing Tom Lehrer's Christmas Carol at least once each December.

4. Dissecting movies - Geeks, in my experience (and myself included), have a habit of picking movies apart, particularly just after watching them. We will discuss everything from the special effects to the minutiae of costume and prop design, but what gives us the most pleasure is identifying plot holes (no matter how small), anachronisms, and goofs in general, and, in adaptations, picking apart the cuts and modifications. For some reason, this tends to annoy non-geeks who, I guess, don't enjoy the process.

5. Wearing obscurely geeky T-shirts to "normal" places - Every geek has at least a few of these; don't try to deny it. We love them, because we get the jokes and we know that only other geeks will get them, too. Unfortunately, they can make our less geeky significant others feel a bit conspicuous when out with us—or maybe they feel the geekiness will rub off on them, I'm not quite sure. Still, I feel that if I have to occasionally let my daughter wear a Hello Kitty shirt out of the house, I can wear my shirts from ThinkGeek.

6. Requiring extra room in the house for geeky things - Not all geeks have exactly the same space needs, but we've all got more than most people. There are the comic book collections accumulated over several decades, the stacks of board games and RPGs, and the old computer equipment that might be useful someday, you never know! Some of us need just a good-size closet or two, some of us need a room, and some of us take over the entire basement. For some strange reason, the people we live with tend to get a little annoyed at this.

7. Geeky toys and decorations can be hard to explain to kids - Long has my plush vorpal bunny languished atop a tall bookcase, waiting for the day when my kids are old enough not to be scared by its huge bloody fangs. And how to properly explain my model of Minas Tirith to kids not quite old enough for The Lord of the Rings? I mean, if we say "You remember The Hobbit? Well, it's in the same world, but a country not mentioned in that book, and it figures heavily in a later story," that will only prompt a thousand questions about it. That's not a bad thing, of course, but it can get a bit tiresome. At least the Warner Brothers cartoon sericels hanging on the walls are easily explained by simply putting in a DVD.

8. Looking up information while a discussion/argument is still in progress - So what are laptops and mobile phones for, if not to resolve disputes or questions wherever you happen to be? Why would anyone get annoyed when you pull out your iPhone in the middle of a discussion about, say, a news story, and a minute later break back into the conversation with the details of the story that everyone else had forgotten? Yeah, it beats me, too, but my wife insists this belongs on the list.

9. Needing to watch certain TV shows ASAP to avoid spoilers - It's tough enough to find decent geeky shows on TV these days; think of how much worse it would be to accidentally hear or see a spoiler for an episode before you'd had a chance to watch it. And keeping away from Twitter and Facebook and other social websites and services in case a spoiler happens to come across it just isn't viable for that long because, let's face it, we're geeks and we're addicted to the internet. Non-geeks have shows they're addicted to, too, of course, but, at least in my experience, not to quite the same extent.

10. Geeky projects that take over the house and whole weekends - We've done dozens of posts on projects big and small, from hacking IKEA bunk-beds to DIY iPhone stands. Some geek projects are simple and won't take but a few minutes, and some just seem to take every bit of available space in your house. I think most spouses of geeks at least understand this behavior, but I suspect it annoys them more than they let on.

So, any additions to the list? Any spouses of geeks out there want to add a few of their own pet peeves? Please leave a comment.

http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2009/0...oying-hab.html

[Damocles]

http://blog.wired.com/geekdad/2009/0...cks-to-ge.html

10 Geeky Tricks for Getting Out of Bed in the Morning
By Michael Harrison EmailFebruary 25, 2009 | 8:00:00 AMCategories: How-To

296235389_e53b1eb229_b A little confession: I am not a morning person. In fact, I hate getting up before 9 a.m., and I'd probably sleep until 10 a.m. if I could.

I'm not sure whether it was too many late nights during college, or if I'm a night owl by nature, but it's far too often "late to bed, late to rise" for me. And I'm trying to fix it.

There aren't enough hours in the day for kids, hobbies, work, etc., and life's far too short to spend in a sleepy haze. Here are 10 tips for how I get up at 6:30 a.m. every (ok... maybe not every) morning:

1. Go to bed when you're tired.

You've probably heard that you're supposed to go to bed at the same time every night, right? Yeah, I tried that, and ended up staring at the ceiling for a few hours. Instead, I go to bed when I'm tired.

Usually this means that I do go to bed at roughly the same time every night. Eventually you get into a rhythm and it works out. One caveat, though, is that we geeks tend to get rather caught up in our own hobbies. Don't stay up later than you should just because you want to finish one more quest in Fallout 3 or because you have a blog article due the next day (ahem).

2. Pick out clothes the night before.

Honest, it really helps. Making decisions, even small ones about which shirt or tie to wear, can be challenging in the wee hours. I've even contemplated taking the Neil Gaiman route and just wearing the same damn thing every day. My wife says that's sad, but she's never gone an entire day with backwards underwear and an inside-out shirt.

3. Program your coffee maker.

Several folks told me to cut back on my caffeine after I mentioned to them that I was trying to get up earlier.

After I stopped laughing, I went out and bought some really good whole bean coffee (our recent favorite is Ruta Maya). Now, every night I load up our automatic coffee maker (we have a Cuisinart Grind-and-Brew, though I've heard great things about the Krups KM7000 model) and in the morning when I hear it go off like a jet engine, I get warm fuzzies inside. It's not quite as nice as Rosie from The Jetsons topping off your cup, but it's close.

Hit the jump for seven more tips on getting out of bed in the morning.
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3016650508_7f09d2712a_b 4. Set your alarm. Across the room.

I have the innate ability (much to my wife's frustration) of being able to slap an alarm clock's snooze button without actually rising fully out of unconsciousness. I believe my record during one morning marathon was two hours of consecutive snoozage.

The thing is, snoozing sucks. It's low-quality sleep that doesn't leave you feeling restful in any way. My groggy brain is not rational enough in the a.m. to understand this. So there is no alarm on my bedside table.

Instead I installed Alarm Clock on my MacBook and plugged it in all the way across the room. Now, every morning at 6:30, the spiky tones of chiptunes wake me from my blissful respite.

5. Put a glass of water next to your alarm.

Drink the whole glass when you get up and turn the alarm off. After a full night's sleep, you're probably a little dehydrated, and for whatever reason, drinking water just seems to help the body realize that it's time to get up.

Be careful if you're using your computer as an alarm, though. Nothing ruins a day — or a laptop — like a clumsy spill on the keyboard.

6. Have a good reason for being up early.

If you're the type of person who can spring out of bed at dawn, just because it's a beautiful day, gosh darn it, and you're out to change the world, etc., then congratulations. You're probably one of those weirdos that doesn't drink coffee in the morning either.

We mere mortals need collateral. Sometimes it's not enough to know that you've got more time in the day. Sometimes you need to know how to spend it.

Remember back at number 1 when I told you to put down the Xbox 360 controller and get some sleep? Well ... pick it back up again! If you want to finish that quest, you've got the time to do it now. Paint some miniatures! Go for a walk! Make and eat pancakes with your kids! Plan something fun and you'll probably get out of bed easier.

47547571_07fb4dd27e_o 7. Have a well-stocked "library."

I'm going to be perfectly frank with you. I get a lot of reading done in the bathroom. I think of it as my own Fortress of Solitude, minus the subzero temperature and creepy statues of my parents.

It's also the first place I go after I wake up, to take care of various biological necessities and to freshen up for the day ahead. If there's an interesting book sitting beside the, uh, throne, then I'm a lot more likely to look forward to the morning rituals.

8. Do something active.

I know that for a lot of geekdads, numbers 8 and 6 don't really jive. "Exercise is not fun," says you. "I'd rather be playing videogames."

What about Wii Fit? It's no Fallout and it's not exactly the most hard-core workout regime, but it's just as good as some pushups and light calisthenics. Plus data geeks can watch their weight (hopefully) drop over time, and that's always a good motivator.

If you're not Wiilling (sorry, it had to be done) to hop on the balance board, how about downloading some podcasts (I'm partial to our very own GeekDads podcast and HipTrax, and we have a list of all sorts of other geeky podcasts for your consumption) and taking a walk or a jog.

9. Spend some time thinking.

It might be a little corny, but taking a moment out of your day to ponder life, the universe and everything can be immensely relaxing. Reflecting on the previous day's events is a great way to learn a lesson or two.

10. Write something down.

I just finished reading Michael Palin's superb Diaries 1969-1979: The Python Years and I'm impressed by his ability to capture the important details of his personal and professional life. I'm trying to spend at least a few minutes of my morning scribbling a few thoughts on the events of my own life, and I find that, in combination with number 9, this helps me to hop in the car, refreshed and ready to take on the workday.

So those are my little morning rituals. What helps you get out of bed in the morning?