Go Back   Colonial Fleets > FAN CREATIVITY > Colonial Library > Julix
Notices

Reply

 
Thread Tools
Old August 29th, 2005, 01:32 PM   #121
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

a life I struggle
to embrace
held at a distance
time and space unaligned
like watching from
a window into an
another world
that you are unable
to go into or come out of
you want to be
a part of it
but hesitate
becuase if you
go in and fully
be as one
you risk
the raw part
of you that
never healed
and is afraid
to be exposed
to the most devestating
pain you have
ever known
loss
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old August 30th, 2005, 06:06 PM   #122
The 14th Colony
Return from hiatus...
 
The 14th Colony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,241

Default

Hmmmm...another dark and thought-provoking one my friend.
__________________
There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



My Creativity:
https://www.facebook.com/legoshine
My Writing Page:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/InSpi...47884321946870
The 14th Colony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 4th, 2005, 06:33 AM   #123
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Thank you Ron for your feedback........I appreciate it.
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 4th, 2005, 06:43 AM   #124
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

This is about my son Chris(he was born premature)



To look at him
is to know innocence
the definition of love
he walks in light
like a refreshing breeze
or a new rain
that feeds and cleanses
he is whole in a way
others will never be
yet his mind and body
are not as one
his gentle nature
is like a peaceful
river
that one sits
and watches
appreciates
and learns from
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2005, 12:11 AM   #125
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Julix,
I am jumping on this thread little late. I was about to go to bed and started reading your poems. When it comes to writing, I don't pass out accolade lightly. Your poems are truly moving. Not only do I feel like I know you better as you've opened up a window to your soul, but I've been touched by the ones I related to (you may PM me for details as to which ones) and brought to wonder to see who relates to what.

You had me choked a few times, angry others, meloncholy...you name it.

You have a gift that I envy. I can write great press releases, brochures, marketing plans, and some decent technical non fiction....but poetry and touching people....wow!

Thank you.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2005, 06:57 AM   #126
Archangel
Bad Email Address
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,280

Default

It's great as always, Julix.
Archangel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2005, 07:11 AM   #127
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainTux
Julix,
I am jumping on this thread little late. I was about to go to bed and started reading your poems. When it comes to writing, I don't pass out accolade lightly. Your poems are truly moving. Not only do I feel like I know you better as you've opened up a window to your soul, but I've been touched by the ones I related to (you may PM me for details as to which ones) and brought to wonder to see who relates to what.

You had me choked a few times, angry others, meloncholy...you name it.

You have a gift that I envy. I can write great press releases, brochures, marketing plans, and some decent technical non fiction....but poetry and touching people....wow!

Thank you.


I am amazed, honored and grateful for your comments............you can't know what it means to me! Thanks for your feedback...............expect a PM.
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2005, 07:11 AM   #128
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Archangel
It's great as always, Julix.

Arch..............
It is great to see ya man, I miss ya. Thank you!
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2005, 07:50 AM   #129
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

You are welcome Julix.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 5th, 2005, 01:18 PM   #130
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

The cold clammy hand of pain
clutches at my throat once again
there is no escape
no place I can hide
It reaches me and pulls me
down and terrifies me
No matter where I go
or what I do
It finds me
again and again
Will I ever be free of it's grasp?
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 16th, 2005, 08:46 PM   #131
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Wandering the planet
Utterly alone
With no harmony
And a tune
That is out of sync
The notes of a melody
That starts out
So sweetly
But then is
Abruptly ended
And changed to a harsh mix
Of notes and sounds
That hurt the ears
And the very soul
Indeed
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 18th, 2005, 01:50 PM   #132
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Beauty
Like the thorns of a rose
Constantly pricking at my heart
Making it bleed and sting
Like a rosebud frozen under the ice
Looking for warmth
And wanting to grow
But being crushed
By the very caretakers
That should love it
But can’t
Because a misguided attempt
To make it something
It doesn’t want to be
Beautiful
Beautiful by their own definition
Not the only one that matters
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 08:31 AM   #133
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Forgive me, but I am about to hijack your thread and deliver on a promiose I made months ago to tell you which ones I relate to. Would do it through PM, but this is easier. 'Sides, you bared your soul...so I guess it is fair.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 08:37 AM   #134
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of

Maybe we are not 15 anymore, but the lesson is true. It was when I was alone in the house and Jess was visiting her mamma that one night silence gripped me. I had the freedom to do what I wanted, but I had no idea what that was. I had pretended to be happy for so long and appeased other people. I lost myself. I had been pretending for so long and had so many masks that I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. To be 34 and have that thought was terrifying.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 08:46 AM   #135
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
1)
A soul that wanders through time
seeking to be filled
but finding emptiness
perhaps a mistake
no where to fit in
nothing that feels right
only a glimpse
of a parallel life
which can not exist
the torment is real
the searching continues
like a hungry beast
that needs to find food
for it's survival
Ravonous and wild
finding only desolation
with no way
to feel satisfied


2)
I long for the day
when the grief
has become quiet
when the giant
will sleep forever
but for now I see
I must continue on
try to do what I must
the pain, the hurt
so great there
is no relief
only struggle
only a journey
I am forced into
and afraid to take



3)
What cost must I pay?
What price to be released?
From a cell that has no bars
A prison with no key
many days of pushing away
the thoughts and emotions
only to have them return
with a vengence
overwhelming my mind
into silence
Now remember, we are not talking exact parallels here, but there are reflections.
#1 I have often felt like I see all my friends and associates through a long tunnel or a fishbowl. There is some kind of barrier that prohibits me from being truly joined with them and they seem to be a community. I am in a crowd....alone.

It often feels like there is a weight or somehting else in the back of my mind.


#2 In one year I have seen a marriage crumble, two friends die, a young girl get raped by a friend of mine, two get diagnosed with cancer, and a few more have other problems. I want to support them and help them, I want to get through my own problems, but there are some days it felt so heavy and so big...too big. But I had not choice. I had to finish today and face tommorrow. I wanted to enjoy today and not dread the next, but I could not for a time.

#3 What cost must I pay. Tell me what I did, how do get out of it, and make the suffering stop. Been there. Reality, I did nothing. I just let the events of my life dictate my emotions. Ick.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 08:54 AM   #136
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
Too many times
I walk away
afraid to dream
a life without expression
a way of traveling through time
totally numb
the spirit longs to be
free to go anywhere
but is held down
by some unseen enemy
a long-time fear
never to subside
a way to break through
unknown to me
It was thought EXACTLY like this and some tough and true words of honest friendship from a certain two brained cylon that woke me up. This was not the same guy who was known to be able to do anything in college. The one who was fearless. I was mere steps away from being a hermit afraid of all. I went after my dreams with new vigor.

I have wanted to write and speak publicly and change the direction a bit of an industry that needs training. Well, I got three articles under my belt now, several speaking engagements with good reports, and more down the way. Even had me a little feeler from a magazine. All I had to do was get past this poem...not so easy. It consumed me. Wanting more and reaching for it despite setbacks are two different matters.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 09:05 AM   #137
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
There is a wound
so deep it
hits the core
burried and raw
festering
no type of medicine
can heal
the deep twisting
pain within
created long ago
the injury
invisible to all
who gaze at me
the hole deep inside is
undetetable
but ever present
a constant torment
which never retreats
The pain of living a
life unloved
by the most important
person in the world
ME

From the age of nine to the age of thirteen my mother was married to a man who liked beating us. I broke the chain and the rules of what normally happens to adult chidren of abuse. I never was cruel to Jen, I was and am a good father to my daughter, I went to college, I was able to hold jobs...but somewhere deep inside, this little boy sat in a closet with bruises thinking he was nothing. Thinking this was the fate he deserved. Thinking he will amount to nothing. Overall, I have beaten that, but there are days where that wound still makes me my own wost enemy.
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24th, 2005, 09:06 AM   #138
CaptainTux
Warrior
 
CaptainTux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Near Chicago, Il
Posts: 370

Default

Further personal reflections will have to wait for another time. Sorry. I have to take care of some Christmas matters! Whee!
__________________
Cheers!

Tux
CaptainTux is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 26th, 2005, 09:35 AM   #139
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Captain,
thanks for the feedback. I am glad you felt like you could share it. I also can't tell you what it means to me when people say they relate or feel things when reading my peoms. It is such a wonderful feeling, thank you!
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 26th, 2005, 10:05 AM   #140
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

A road
A special night
Filled with wonder
And delight
My children’s eyes sparkling
A vison of a memory
A thought strikes me
Sudden pain
Again the grief
Washes over the hole
In my heart
The hole that has never healed
Surrounded by family
And feeling the pain
But not being able to acknowledge it
It gets pushed down…
Down deep
Where it remains
Until I am alone in the dark
Shaking
Crying
In fear
Just like the little girl
Who used to cry herself to sleep.
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 31st, 2005, 02:59 PM   #141
The 14th Colony
Return from hiatus...
 
The 14th Colony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,241

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
A road
A special night
Filled with wonder
And delight
My children’s eyes sparkling
A vison of a memory
A thought strikes me
Sudden pain
Again the grief
Washes over the hole
In my heart
The hole that has never healed
Surrounded by family
And feeling the pain
But not being able to acknowledge it
It gets pushed down…
Down deep
Where it remains
Until I am alone in the dark
Shaking
Crying
In fear
Just like the little girl
Who used to cry herself to sleep.
I hear you loud and clear.
__________________
There may be only one God in heaven, but to a writer, we're gods of the worlds we create on paper.

If reincarnation is real, I want to come back as a bowling ball...because that's how I roll.



My Creativity:
https://www.facebook.com/legoshine
My Writing Page:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/InSpi...47884321946870
The 14th Colony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old February 20th, 2006, 04:58 PM   #142
captmiloman
Bad Email Address
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Port Orchard, WA,
Posts: 327

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by julix
I have written some poems and wanted to get feedback from you all.....Let me know what you think



1)
As I sit alone
the house so quite
and calm
I wonder
who am I?
What do I need to do?
so many years of pretending
now it comes to this
one moment of truth
where I step in the spotlight
and see what I am made of



2)
Happiness an elusive dream
floating through my fingers
so often slipping away
like a whim
sometimes I try to chase it
or squeeze it to get it to stay
sometimes I hold on too tight
or shy away
sometimes I don't even try
at all, but then there is
no hope...and I am not ready to
live a life without hope
So I continue to dream


3)
I was outside; it was snowing
I was alone and it was so cold
So long ago it seemed.
The snow fell freely around me
The flakes were so beautiful and unique
So light and innocent, without a doubt.
How gently they floated down to the earth.
I reached out and tried to hold the memories
But like the snow flakes the memories melted away.


So what do you think?I had one of these published in the school newspaper
when I was fifteen.


I can relate to the first poem. Great job, Julix.
captmiloman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 16th, 2006, 06:13 AM   #143
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Hey Captmiloman

Thanks for the feedback, I honestly didn't see it untill today
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 16th, 2006, 08:11 AM   #144
amberstar
Strike Leader
 
amberstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Among the 13th tribe....
Posts: 4,579


Default

I love them sis!
#1 is my fave


__________________
" KEEPING THE FAITH"
amberstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 16th, 2006, 05:35 PM   #145
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by amberstar
I love them sis!
#1 is my fave



((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) miss ya Sis......
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old May 29th, 2006, 04:39 AM   #146
john158
Guest
 
Posts: n/a

Default

hello
  Reply With Quote
Old June 18th, 2006, 07:55 PM   #147
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

The pain hits me once more
unexpected and unwelcome
waves crashing over my body
again and again
pain and fear
trembling together
shaking
thoughts and emotions
I can't stop
or understand
my head and heart
breaking
suffering
suffering
no end to it
untill
I make myself stop
I put it away
in a box inside myself
where there is no key
to lock it up
where it unleashes
when it wants to
where it wants to
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 30th, 2006, 07:28 AM   #148
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default

there is neither
time nor space where
grief ends
it continues to
be a part
of me
welcome or not
it has become
what it will
perhaps
a space to
coexist
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 25th, 2009, 06:33 PM   #149
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default Re: Julix's corner

my daughter who is 10 just wrote this poem for me....

I see her
Whenever we bring it up,
Darkness fills the room
I dread every moment
we get
When the two halves
Of the heart
Were together,
Heaven
When two
Halves of the
Heart break
Nothing is in
Balance
My Grandfather
And Mom


this emoticon is from her!!!!!
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 25th, 2009, 06:34 PM   #150
julix
Strike Leader
 
julix's Avatar
 


Join Date: May 2004
Location: colorado
Posts: 2,915

Default Re: Julix's corner

this is a poem written by my 10 year old daughter


I see her
Whenever we bring it up,
Darkness fills the room
I dread every moment
we get
When the two halves
Of the heart
Were together,
Heaven
When two
Halves of the
Heart break
Nothing is in
Balance
My Grandfather
And Mom

this emoticon is from her
__________________
www.laurettespang.com
julix is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Welcome to the Convention Corner DarkJedi Conventions 6 January 3rd, 2005 03:40 PM




So sez our Muffit!!!

For fans of the Classic Battlestar Galactica series



COPYRIGHT
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:25 AM. Contact the Fleet - Colonial Fleets - Archive - Privacy Statement - Top
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.11, Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content and Graphics ©2000-Present Colonial Fleets
The Colonial Fleets Forums are run by Battlestar Galactica fans, paid for by Battlestar Galactica fans, for the enjoyment of fellow Battlestar Galactica fans.



©2000-2008 Colonial Fleets