Got a kick out of this tshirt and hadda buy it...

[martok2112]

RELIGIONS of the WORLD:

TAOISM: S*** Happens!
HINDUISM: This s*** happened before.
CONFUSCIANISM: Confuscius say: "S*** happens."
BUDDHISM: If s*** happens, it really isn't s***!
ZEN: What is the sound of s*** happening?
ISLAM: If s*** happens, it is the Will of Allah
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Knock, knock. "S*** happens!"
ATHEISM: There is no s***!
AGNOSTICISM: I don't know whether s*** happens.
PROTESTANTISM: S*** won't happen if I work harder.
CATHOLICISM: If s*** happens, I deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does s*** always happen to us?


Of course, there is one unprinted religion/philosophy that didn't quite make it, but should've:

HUDSONISM: "This s*** can't be happening, man! It can't be happening!"

[cobrastrikelead]

S**** Happened. Those pesky humans....

[cobrastrikelead]

S**** Happened.
And no doubt the event is directly attibutable to the activities of the human vermin. Therefore, it has been been decreed that we much seek out the pestilence in all corners of the known universe that we must seek out the pestilence and eliminate the said parasite and afterwards no more Sh**t will happen, and we will have no reason at all to interrupt our normal functioning. And everything will be just ducky.....

[Compass]

You're missing a couple:

FREUDIANISM: S*** is deeply rooted in your subconscious conceptions of your parents.
RELATAVISM: S*** is a matter of perspective.
ADOLESCENT-ISM (and LAWYER-ISM and POLITICIAN-ISM): S*** is someone else's fault.