“Gonna ask my momma if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.”
“I’ve spent 2 weeks hanging out with myself and I am so sorry to every person I have ever spent time with.”
“In 8 weeks 88% of blondes will disappear from the Earth.”
“Anyone else’s car getting 3 weeks to the gallon at the moment?”
“It’s like being 16 again - gas is cheap and I’m grounded.”
