When I lived with my parents I recorded a message for our answering machine. This one got lots of laughs.
"Hi, you have reached us. We are unable to reach the phone right now so please leave a message at the beep. Please keep in mind that this machine records your name, time you called, your message, your date of birth and your social security card number."
"If your a bill collector, the checks in the mail. If its a friend just say hi, we can identify you by your voice and we will call you right back. If your family just state your name and we'll give you a shout. All others will be answered in a timely fashion. Have a good day!"
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Cheese: [has tinfoil on his teeth] I have braces!
Mac: You found that on the ground, didn't you?
Cheese: Garbage can.
-episode "Mac Daddy"Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends"
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