[Eric Paddon]

Okay, starting with this episode (where I was helped in a couple scenes by Sanna Guerin, co-moderator of the Galactica fanfic mailing list), I decided to do some major overhauling for the sake of creating a bigger, more ambitious story. This meant combining both TMWNL and MOTRS into a single story which gave me the ability to keep Chameleon around during the events of MOTRS where he should be concerned about his son being up on a murder charge, and also it gave me a better chance to set the stage for why Charybdis decides he has to murder Ortega, and how he goes about planning this (I had already introduced Charybdis and Ortega in the Saga adaptation and this gave me a chance to bring an old subplot to completion, in keeping with the idea that the episodes should be reimagined in a way that allows for this greater sense of continuity and epic sweep).

Some alterations of note:
-Chella, the Pyramid dealer who plays a big role in MOTRS is introduced in TMWNL as the Pyramid dealer at the table where Chameleon introduces himself to Starbuck.

-I expanded on the nature of how do the Borellians live in the Fleet? The freighter Borella is where they live, and I decided that the Nomen are not the only group of people from that planet who live there. That in fact they are a minority sect much like Shiite Muslims are the minority sect of that faith in contrast to more secular Sunni Muslims. Thus, the leadership of the Borellians in general is headed by someone from this more secular class, who is more open to cooperating among the Colonials in friendship (for his backstory, I made him the Borellian Ambassador to the Colonies at the time of the destruction) and this is something that displeases hardcore Borellian Nomen who favor separatism and the desire to start a culture of their own based on the principles of their Code (just like the Iranian Fundamenalists wanted to set up an ideal state in 1979). Thus, the Borellian Nomen conspiracy that Chameleon got caught up in involved a plot to assassinate the Ambassador, seize control of the ship and take it to a planet to start a culture based on Borellian principles (much the same as what we heard in the episode but given some greater clarity and needed background detail).

I felt Apollo was too passive when Starbuck got irate over learning about the background check on Chameleon and walked away with his "end of a friendship" declaration. I had Apollo lose his cool and give a few choice retorts to Starbuck for overreacting and being so overly trusting of Chameleon.

Also, I set the stage for Starbuck's clash with Ortega by having scenes of Ortega at the Chancery and words being exchanged between them. Then, when a drunken Ortega nearly starts a brawl with Starbuck in the Officer's Club, Boomer has to step in and then makes Ortega take his deep patrol as punishment where in his not completely sober state he lets slip the name "Charybdis" to Barton who will remember it in MOTRS.

End of this part of the story after the final scene of the episode as we know it has Charybdis confronting Ortega and telling him that he won't pay him any more blackmail money unless he agrees to throw his upcoming triad match with Apollo and Starbuck and get himself thrown out of the game. Then, Charybdis will meet him in the locker room area and give him an extra payoff. What Charybdis is really doing is setting up Ortega for his murder. To me, this was important because unless Ortega deliberately got himself thrown out of the game there would have been no reason for Charybdis to have known ahead of time that Ortega would be down there and have been able to have hatched any kind of coherent murder scheme to begin with.