Re: Clean joke of the day.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went into the woods at 3 o'clock.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stamping out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stamping out flaming ducks.
Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.
Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: 5 O'clock (trick question - not "Time to get a new fence..")
Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).
Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?
A: A dead ant.
Q: How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, but you need a real big bulb.
Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?
A: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.
Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
Q: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?
A: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.
Q: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.
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