[The 14th Colony]

10) The evil sadistic villain changed his mind at the last moment and forced you into another room instead, where you are pushed by a moving wall toward five holes that you cannot get past or jump over. Each hole contains either a hungry lion, a "Jurassic Park" velocoraptor, a Rancor, a pool of water with a school of piranha, and another pool with a great white shark; Your only hope is to choose the least agonizing experience, so do you choose the lion, the shark, the piranha, the Arachnid, or the Raptor?

To begin with I am afraid of the ocean and sharks. I love watching oceanographic specials on sharks because I find them fascinating and mysterious, but I am terrified of being eaten alive by a Great White. The movie Jaws literally scarred me for life when I was a kid. However, Great Whites, despite their size and ferocity, are timid, careful creatures that are afraid of being injured while eating thrashing fish and other prey. That is why sometimes they take a bite and then circle to wait for the prey to die, and then eat at leisure. Also, when approaching an unknown object, they can be scared off by a strong bop in the nose…unless there is blood in the water in which case he’s eating whatever he thinks is bleeding. I saw an oceanographic special once in which a scientist/diver proved what I just said. While being filmed from another cage, from his cage with a long metal pole he bopped 3 Great Whites who swam over to investigate him, and they veered away. Then he got out of the cage and stood on the ocean floor and held the pole in front as the 3 sharks came back to double check what they had encountered. And completely vulnerable outside his cage, the diver bopped each White shark in the nose with the pole and each one swam away from the unpleasant object. So, I think I would take my frightening chances in the Great White pool and try to hit him hard in the nose when he swam toward me. On the other hand, maybe I would go for the lion’s pen and hope that he bites and holds my neck while he waits for me to smother and/or bleed to death. I’ve seen video of lion’s doing that.
On the other hand, this is so simple. All I have to do is get the blowtorch from the other compartment in my fake leg and melt the gears that are turning to move the wall forward. Du-uh!

11) The evil sadistic villain changed his mind again, but for the last time. You are now in the last room with the worst choice to make. You are put in the room with a loved one as well as a perfect stranger, and the villain hands you a gun with just one bullet. With the reminder of the agonizing options of questions 9 and 10 awaiting you if you do not go forward, you are told that you must either shoot your loved one, shoot the stranger, or shoot yourself. You have no choice, you must fire at someone. Who do you shoot?

The evil sadistic villain, of course, who deserves to die for threatening my life and forcing me to take someone else’s. But I would only shoot him to disable him, not kill him, and then drag him over to the pool of boiling water and roll him in.

Take a deep breath. It's time to have fun again:
12) Lets make believe that you find a genie in a bottle, who grants you three wishes. Not world peace, or an end to poverty, or health for yourself and family, but three things of pleasure for yourself. What will you wish for?

#1 24 hours of non-stop sex; 12 hours of procedure and 12 hours of finale, if you know what I mean without spelling it out. Can anybody imagine that? Wowakazam!
#2 The scale 8 foot long (?) Galactica model used for the original show, complete with working lights throughout and the landing bay ponttons with removable tops to see a complete layout of the inside along with the launch tubes and everything. Sure, the working model never had that, but we are talking about a genie in a bottle, aren't we?
#3 3,000,000 pieces of Lego of my selected shapes, sizes, and colors, to build my Coruscant city model to the lengths and width that I dream of.

13) Name one silly secret about yourself that you would only admit here due to the anonymity of the net.

I crave Star Wars and non SW figures and toy ships and vehicles of all kinds, and stand in toy stores desiring the toys, drooling before them the way Homer Simpson drools over donuts. Man, we never had toys like that when we were kids, and God how I wish I could play with them and not be embarrassed by it.

14)
Describe the funniest thing that happened to you, or involved you, in relation to a BSG, convention, sci-fi event, or whatever experience.

First the set-up:
When I was 14 I was hit by a drunk driver and split my head open, after which I was in a coma for 2 weeks. When I woke, I had to learn to walk, talk, read and write all over again. Due to the damage to my brain I had lost partial control of some of the muscles in my left leg below the knee, mainly the foot and ankle. I went for months of daily therapy on my leg, and then weekly for about a year. When I was released, I was given a plastic brace that fit around the back of the leg and under the foot to hold the foot steady while I walked, because I had trouble moving the foot the way you do without thinking as you take steps. For five and a half years I had to wear that brace on my leg and foot whenever I walked and it was annoying...but I had fun with it. I will explain:

The brace fit well around the back of the leg under my pants leg, so that with my pants leg down you couldn't see it. When I was 15 and 16 I would tell people that I lost my leg (which I almost did) and that I had a wooden leg. When they didn't believe me, I banged my knuckles on the back of the leg and when they heard the sounds their mouths dropped open with surprise. I always got a kick out of that reaction (but it was a kick only with my other leg).
Sorry for the boring set-up. Here is where I get to the funny part of the story...
Once when I went to see Return of the Jedi in 1983 (not the first time I saw it), I ran into some friends in the theatre and sat with them and talked to a buddy of theirs who didn't know me. He was an African American boy about 15 with a bit of a southern accent. Sure enough, I did my little bit and banged on my leg to show him the leg was "fake", and he about fell over in his seat in surprise. Later, about 5 minutes before the movie ended, I pulled up my pant leg, unstrapped the brace and pushed it back a little bit, and put the pant leg down again with the brace on the outside unstrapped. I knew that when I walked, the brace would separate from the leg a few inches with each step before joining the back of the leg again. My friends saw what I was doing and held their breaths in anticipation, while the boy I mentioned did not notice. Then when the film ended and we all began walking out to the aisle with the overhead lights still dim, I intentionally walked in front of the boy hoping that he would notice the movement of the brace, and sure enough he did. His eyes were bulging like this and his mouth dropped open, and he exclaimed, "Sheeeit, boy, yo lage's comin' off!" My friends and I broke out in uncontrolled laughter, and I had to calm the boy down and assure him that it was only a joke and my leg was still firmly attached. What a reaction that was.

15) Please keep this G rated...What do you think are the most attractive non-sexual parts of the opposite sex's bodies?

A bare back, especially the lower back; abdomen; hair; the upper neck area under the chin and jawbone; the vertical muscle of the back of the leg on the opposite side of the knee, and the navel.

16) Hanging over the side of a yacht is a ladder with 22 rungs, each one a foot and a half apart. 19 rungs are above the water at low tide. High tide will bring the water level two and three quarter feet higher. At high tide how many rungs will be above the water?

19 rungs of course. The vessel rises with the tide.

17) Why is the sky blue?

Many many many many many many many years ago there was a planet called Bleoou that orbited the sun from a distance between Mars and Jupiter. Bleoou was a gaseous world with a thick, gooey atmosphere consisting of an ionosphere, a stratosphere, a gambadgrasphere, an agroogelsphere, and a bloobesphere. The bloobesphere was the majority of existing atmosphere on Bleoou, containing several gasses including H20, and it was thick and gooey.

Roughly many many many many many many many many many years ago, a gargantuan meteor that was really big traveling through space at speeds in excess of very very very fast, collided with the doomed planet, and Bleoou went kablooey. The planet was cracked into millions and lots of pieces of all different sizes ranging from itty bitty to "geez, look at the size of that thing", and those pieces now make up the asteroid field out there beyond Mars but before the Jupiter off ramp.

So much for the hard part of Bleoou. As for the atmosphere, most of it was dissipated into the void of space, but the thick gooey bloobesphere was sent hurdling across the several miles until it slapped into the third pebble from the sun and got stuck there due to its gooeyness. Over time the glob of bloobesphere spread around the Earth's outer bubblesphere until it completely enveloped it and was absorbed into it. From that point on, it gave off its particular hue in the daylight hours due to sunlight shining through it, which is why in daytime we see the sky as the color of the bloobesphere from Bleoou. And that color, in honor of the calamity of the bashed Bleoou and the light of the bloobesphere, is called blue.

And now you know why the sky is blue and why blue is called blue.

There is more on the way...