Quote:
Originally Posted by Kester Pelagius
Co-writing a story might be fun. Of course I'd like to at least finish Phoenix Rising Part 2 before I embark on any new fanfic project.
That said I am truly fascinated by some of the extrapolations you've chosen. Don't agree with them all, then you know how jealous we writer's get, especially of ideas that don't occur to us first. 
But, I have to ask, briskuu?
I guess it doesn't sound any odder than the klah Ann McCaffrey's Dragonriders of PERN drink. But what sort of drink is it? You don't describe it. Is it a warm drink? Cold? A broth? Tea? Herbal tincture?
By the way I was thinking: "And what's a Mamba bomber look like?" when that was introduced in the text. I know you do describe it, eventually, by likening it to a Raptor but there's no description of a Raptor in the text I recall. A brief sketch of a description of what a Raptor looks like for the benefit of those who haven't watched nBSG, or who don't recall much from it, would have been a nice additional touch. |
LOL! Indeed you pointed out the very thing that has been my Achile's Heel when it comes to writing....a lot of times, I seem to rush my writing, and forget...."ummm...hey, doncha think you need to describe these things to folks who may have never seen the shows?" I guess because it's fanfiction, and writing (largely) for fans of the shows (TOS and TNS) I subconsciously took it for granted that the readers would already know what certain things would look like. I need to drop that particular mindset, and get back into descriptions.
Ah, briskuu. I wanted an alien name for "coffee", and thought that something which sounded like "pick me up" would work. I think another one of my weaknesses is that when trying to convey the notion of an alien (or off-world human) object, drink, or what not, I do my best to avoid even writing down the actual Earth name for it, and try (again) to remember that I do need to somehow describe it so the reader gets the idea.....ah...briskuu = coffee. Alas, apparently this was another thing I did not cover. I should go back and re-write some of this stuff. (The Last Battlestar, remastered edition....now with more description!) LOL!
You are correct about the Mamba bomber. It is basically a Raptor with bombing capability. My inspirations for this were that the Raptor was basically an AWACS styled space craft, the Mamba was the equivalent of an A-6 (Intruder) bomber, and there was another variant which would be the equivalent of the EA-6B (Prowler) Electronic Warfare aircraft. But all those ships mentioned are based from the Raptor.
Again, you honor me with your kind words and honest criticisms. I hope the story continues to entertain you, and I hope you will continue with providing me with whatever crosses your mind.....only in that way can I become a better writer.
Appreciatively, and humbly,
Steve
