[Proximo]

What's this? A guy with woman trouble? How shocking...

All (alleged) joking aside, I'm in a bit of a pickle. Basically I feel as if I've screwed up my love life over some very, very silly things...

A little background. About 5 years ago I proposed to my fiancée but, for various reasons we weren't able to set a date. At the time I was just so happy that a woman had actually taken interest in me that I didn't actually consider if she was the right one. Hell, I loved her, and I still lover her like crazy, but there are certain small things where we don't see eye-to-eye... specifically about certain religions things and the way we would rasie oour kids - that is, if she were actually willing to have children... she thinks it isn't fair to inflict any possiblie genetic diseases (she's mildly aspergic) she might have on them.

For the past few months I've been having doubts about things, even though I know I would be icredibly happy with her most of the time. I wouldn't be completely fulfilled though, since she's said she never wants to have kids and I do. She was very adamnant about it...

And here comes the Big Problem. I've found myself attracted to another woman, just a little, and just when we managed to figure out a possible date for marriage. On the surface it sounds like your typical man getting cold feet when he realises his number's up, and most of the time I hope and pray that's all it is... but... I've just known for a long time that something is missing. There have been communication problems. I've basically screwed up my marriage before it even starts and the possibility that I'm going to loose this beautiful part of my life is really tearing me apart, but unless she accomodates these two things that I've mentioned... I mean, I've changed an awful lot in the past 4 years because of her. I've become a better person. So... basically what I'm syaing is that at the moment I feel like crap, and I desperately need someone to tell me everything is going ot be alright.

Only, that doesn't work, because I've heard it all before...

The fact that I'm looking elsewhere scares me half to death, because it means I'm actually considering that I might not want to spend my life with this person. I guess there's not much more to say beyond that.

Call me scum if you like. At the moment, I feel like a complete bastard.