Thread: Jokes
View Single Post
Old December 28th, 2003, 11:21 AM   #66
ojai22
Dancing Viper Queen
 
ojai22's Avatar
 


Veteran
Fleets Warrior

Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 651

Default

LIBERALS, CONSERVATIVES, AND SOUTHERNERS



How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners? Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a GlGlock40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?



Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the GlGlock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a pain! t ! and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.






Conservative Answer:


BANG!





Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click . . . . (sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

==================================




Okay, you Southerners, hold on a minute. This was sent to me by a good ol' Southern Boy....

ojai22





__________________
I have my own little place, but it's okay. They know me here.
ojai22 is offline   Reply With Quote