[BST]

I am sitting here, on Saturday, August 30, 2003, trying very hard to arrange my thoughts in some coherent form. I say, “trying” because all of the thoughts haven’t yet coalesced and this is mainly due to the intermingling of various emotions that I can’t seem to set aside. Those emotions range from disappointment to sadness to absolute RAGE. There is also 1 other and I will speak to that one later because it is the most dangerous one, IMHO.

The initial feeling that hit me yesterday afternoon, when trying to access CF, was one of disappointment. I didn’t want to believe that I was going to lose the opportunity to “connect”, even if only electronically, with my newly found friends. I have become accustomed to, and quite comfortable in, this environment. It allowed me the chance to engage in conversations, learn from the wisdom of others and hopefully contribute what little I had to offer. Mainly, though, it was the camaraderie that kept me coming back. When that was jeopardized, my feelings began to sink towards those of sorrow.

I was genuinely saddened at the prospect of losing the opportunity to partake, in the reading of and, at times, replies to Muffit’s many wonderful stories. They are a true gem and so meaningful because she truly speaks from the heart and she has a wonderful way of intertwining her life experiences with her love for the show. In addition, I would be losing the opportunity to “hear” more of RP’s musical remakes. They’re classic! I would also miss the opportunity of “stealing the thread from Amberstar” and trying to avoid the hangman’s noose of Sheriff Dawg. But, most of all, I would miss, terribly, the opportunity to connect to ALL of you wonderful folks! I’ve had many lousy Days saved by the wonderful Evenings spent here. To lose that would definitely leave a hole in my heart. I would survive and move on but the loss would still be noticeable. As my sadness sank to its lowly depths, another emotion began to make its presence known.

I don’t, usually, succumb to feelings of rage because I am one that normally “doesn’t sweat the small stuff”. However, I DO HAVE A LIMIT and when I reach that limit, I will lash out. Sometimes, though, it is misdirected at the last person – the one who added that very last morsel that caused me to hit the limit. Other times, my fury will be directed at the person responsible for planting the original seed. In the aftermath, what I try to do is to reconstruct what caused my feelings of outrage, make apologies if necessary, and then, embark on the mission of settling the issue, once and for all.

I spent all of last evening reading through the various posts at Colonial Fleets, Cylon Alliance, and several other forums. It was somewhat illuminating but not at all surprising. Anytime you have people of various backgrounds, collected at 1 place, there WILL be a time when folks will butt heads. It’s unavoidable. What makes the difference is the outcome of the argument. Can the adversaries walk away, either respecting, or at the very least, tolerating the other’s position? Ask yourself this question. The answer is very important because if you CAN’T respect or tolerate the other’s position, you shouldn’t be engaging in this type of environment. If you cannot OR will not step away from being rude, spiteful, and/or threatening to another then, leave. There are other outlets available for you to get YOUR message across.

Some may be of the impression that Longevity = Wisdom. It doesn’t. I don’t care if you have been here since Day One or if you have been here One Day. It is the content of your articles/posts that indicate wisdom. The only thing that longevity indicates is the depth of your passion, nothing more.

The last feeling, which I am battling right now and to which I alluded above, is that of Indifference. I don’t NEED to be on these forums; I don’t NEED to express my feelings for the Original Series; I don’t NEED to engage in the effort to revive/continue the Original Battlestar Galactica story. I could walk away at any time and discover what other things, in the world, interest me and channel my energies in that direction. But, I don’t want to do that, not yet. I feel that contributing to the effort to bring back a high-quality TV show with a strong message for young and older audiences alike, is an important use of my time. I want to stay involved. I want to contribute. I want to take advantage of this Last Chance that we are being given, by Don. Do you? I want to push these feelings of indifference aside. Will you help me?

Before closing, I want to extend my appreciation for the very existence of this forum to Don, our benefactor. Thank you for the kindness of allowing me to express myself in a very nice environment. Also, speaking of environment, my thanks also goes out to Tom for his incredible efforts to make this one of the most beautiful forums in terms of appearance, navigation, and content. You and Don are the backbone the supports us. My deepest appreciation goes to both of you.

I won’t apologize for the length of this article because I had a lot to get off my chest. I will, however, thank you, in advance, for your patience in reading it.

BST