[Tabitha]

Last night, as I drove home from the gym, I had the top down on the Jeep, it was cool and the rain had swept away the smog. As I left the city, taking a trail I had seen on a drive up to Flagstaff a few weeks ago, I pulled over into a rock formation. I dont know why, but I just turned Rocky (my Jeep) off and got out, walking around.
I was a good five miles off the highway so I took a hike around the rocks, listenning to the sounds of nature and feeling the cool air on my arms. Above me was the sky, filled with stars. I recalled the theme from Firefly in my mind. They cant take the sky from me.
I found myself feeling so alone, but not like I do when Im with other people. This was a different kind of alone. The kind of alone I felt was more like the feeling you get when you come home at the end of the day to an empty room.
I took off my jacket and sat down, thinking about why I would feel like I had come home, in the open desert. Yes, Im a nature girl, I like to hike, and climb, and swim. I SCUBA dive in San Carlos or off the Catalinas, and surf when I can (Im hardly a surfer girl though). I love the ocean, and the desert, to me they are just different sides of the same coin. Both teem with life that you cannot see unless you know where to look. Both are beautiful, but deadly as can be if you dont take care.
I laid back and looked up at the sky, the stars were shining brightly, in a way you who have never been to the deep desert will NEVER know. It is a beauty beyond description. The mountains frame it like God's masterpiece. There are no clouds, typically, and the air is clear and still.
I was easily able to pick out the star formations my daddy taught me to find, one was out of sight this time of the year. I tracked the positions where planets should be had I brought my telescope with me. Then it occured to me, I AM home. I often dream of one day getting into a rocket and just going out there, leaving everything behind. But God gave me a rocket, big enough to take it all with me. And I felt relaxed. That moment I felt more relaxed than I have ever felt. The coyotes were howling, the crickets were chirping, a little road runner was even looking into the brush looking for some tasty treat. It was wonderful to be both, at home, and an alien. To these creatures, I was the strange alien that roars by and sometimes stops to toss a scrap to them. And I was also home, a child of the stars.


tabbi