Re: Clean joke of the day.
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
More like
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
More light bulb jokes.
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
More light bulb jokes.
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
oh good lord! what a way to start my Spring Break off with a good laugh!
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
How many JAP's (Jewish American princesses) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Uh no....... There are four mice! And now for something different. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
When I saw "And now for something completely different" I thought "Oh, cool! Monty Python jokes!"
I was wrong... |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
How do you leave a Kangaroo hopping mad?
Paint him put of the picture. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
Some of these don't even make any sense!
Darth Vader's Top Ten Pet Peeves 10. Having to live a good part of my live with the name 'Anakin.' 9. Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps appearing in the middle of the night saying 'I told you so!' 8. Boba Fett gets all the chicks. 7. All I did was torture hundreds of innocent people, wipe out an entire generation of Jedi Knights, assist in destroying the rightful government in exchange for a malevolent dictatorship, destroy a planet, torture my daughter that I didn't even know existed, chop off my son's hand and I'm the bad guy. 6. The way G.M. tries to skirt around installing new safety features (Whoops! Sorry, that's a Ralph Nader pet peeve). 5. That darn Energizer bunny. 4. Whenever I eat at a KFC, everyone jokes that I'll only eat dark meat. 3. Wiseguys who come up to me saying 'This is CNN.' 2. When appearing together at military functions, The Emperor always insists on wearing his 'I'm with stupid' T-shirt. 1. I'm seen as a dark lord representative of all that's evil, but Newt Gingrich is a national celebrity. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Top Ten Jobs Palpatine Had Before Becoming Dark Lord of the Sith
10. Portraying Mrs. Snugglypuffs, a sweet rabbit that was butchered and sewn back together on each episode of the children's show “Death Cometh to Good People” on the ‘Evil Network.’ 9. Selling software under the tutelage of his future master, Darth Gates. (Was fired after caught embezzling money for a project code named: Death Star) 8. Huttoria's Secret Fashion Consultant and Spoke model (Was fired after only selling black robes) 7. Five words: You want fries with that? 6. Grief Councilor (Was fired after keeping people sad) 5. Manipulative and deceitful game show host of the widely popular "Who wants to be a Supreme Chancellor?" (Was fired after it came to light that he also was a host and contestant) 4. Adolescent rap star "Pal-P-Teen" (Quit after seeing what happened to Vanilla Ice) 3. Dark Intern Of the Sith (Killed boss while he slept, and thus needed a new career) 2. Anger Management Teacher (Was fired for constantly encouraging people to “give in to their anger”) 1. Played corpse on CSI: Crime Scene Inquisitorius (Was locked in morgue after being mistaken for an actual cadaver) |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Top ten reasons Empire loses.
10. Leigh Brackett didn't write the final script. 9. John Dykstra did the original special effects. 8. Anakin Skywalker is a wuss. 7. Yoda has all the tactical brilliance of a muppet. 6. Jar Jar Binks is Palpies chief adviser. 5. Palpie IS a muppet. 4. Imperial technology is based on the obvious fatal flaw principle. 3. Storm troopers are picked for their ability to miss. 2. Princess Leia. And the number one reason that the Empire loses? 1. Mark Hamill, as Luke, is the JOKER in the deck. |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
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HEY!! No bagging on Mark! I'm a HUGE Mark Hamill fan! And he was brilliant as the Joker, too!
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What is the difference between Mark Hamill and Captain Hook?
They didn't give Hook the hook in Peter Pan! |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
Here’s my new favorite Captain Hook joke. Now you know that us Scandihoovians tell a lot of jokes. However, we make no claim that any of them are actually funny…..
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. “What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.” Bartender: “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” Pirate: “Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.” Bartender: “Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?” Pirate: “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really.” Bartender: “What about that eye patch?” Pirate: “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them did a dump and it hit me in my eye.” “You’re kidding,” said the bartender, “you couldn’t lose an eye just from bird droppings.” Pirate: “It was my first day with the hook.” |
Re: Clean joke of the day.
What's a Pirate's favorite gas?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
What is a pirate's favorite booty?
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
And here I was thinking we were going to get leprechaun jokes. :P:
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Re: Clean joke of the day.
I don't do short people jokes.
In honor of the day: An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!" At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes." --------------------------------------------------- |
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